Broken Shivers

About that conscience...

2007-03-12T18:19:00.000-07:00

One of Carolyn's former school friends, a delightful young woman, visited us this week for dinner. One of the things we discussed was letting our 'conscience' be our guide. She maintains she does not need to pray, go to church, etc., that she knows right from wrong and follows her conscience.

I admit to follow one's conscience is usually a pretty good rule of thumb, not the best rule, not not a bad one except.... some people don't have any or some peoples' consciences are so dulled from misuse and abuse, they bareful register a conscience. I imagine Ted Bundy (the infamous serial killer) had a conscience at one time or Scott Peterson. Even psychopaths are probably born with one. After people start doing wrong and ignore repenting or 'fixing' the wrongs, repeatedly ignoring the call of their consciences, their conscience gets less and less strong. Some people lose it all together.

To be on the 'safe' side,' it is always best to check with God or the Bible in questions of morality especially. There is no shame or weakness in needing or wanting a 'guide.' Someone stronger than ourselves is usually a better guide than our conscience.

Some peoples' consciences are even over developed; they see 'sin' or wrong or guilt in everything they do. Not such a good guide that way, either.

Rather than letting your conscience be your guide, why not let His word be your guide. It's never wrong.

I. Cor. 8:7 "Howbeit there is not in every man that knowledge: for some with conscience of the idol unto this hour eat it as a thing offered unto an idol; and their conscience being weak is defiled."

Thanksgivings to God

2007-03-06T10:50:00.000-08:00

I visited one of my favorite sites today, 'Thanksgivings to God,'
http://www.writing.com/main/forums/message_id/1465738
I wrote for the day:
I'm ashamed I don't get here more often for I get a blessing or more every day of my life. Here it is, not quite 5 a.m. Everyone is asleep except me and Juleane. She is one year old. Is there anything any sweeter than a year old baby girl? She doesn't care that I haven't shaved yet, that the coffee's still brewing, that its windy outside. She just looks up at me and smiles that big few-toothed smile with her red hair wild as as a wart hog's and knows she's the greatest thing since buttered bread. I am 43 now and will be pretty old when I get her educated, yet I know this is the blessing God has sent for our old age. Every little wiggle tells me so. :)
Thanks for you, too, Tammy, for having a place to say good morning and thank you Lord!

If you get an opportunity, visit the site. You won't be sorry.

This 'handy little chart' was posted there, and I like it as a quick reference

HANDY LITTLE CHART - God has a positive answer:

You say: "It's impossible" God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27)
You say: "I'm too tired" God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: "Nobody really loves me" God says: I love you (John 3:1 6 & John 3:34 ) You say: "I can't go on" God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: "I can't figure things out" God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5- 6)
You say: "I can't do it" God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)
You say: "I'm not able" God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: "It's not worth it" God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28 )
You say: "I can't forgive myself" God says: I Forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1) You say: "I can't manage" God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)
You say: "I'm afraid" God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated" God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7) You say: "I'm not smart enough" God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)
You say: "I feel all alone" God says: I will never leave you or forsake you.

If we want, we can find plenty to complain about. We can moan and grumble and ask 'why me, Lord?' On the other hand, we can say 'thank you, God' for we are still here to enjoy the blessings of life and still here to pass them on to others.
YOU are needed, and God has a plan for you if you will join with him. I'm convinced of that. It's not money that makes the world go round although having enough is very important. It is communication. We can either communicate, as my dad used to say, 'gladly or badly.' I prefer 'gladly.' :)

I have nothing of great importance to say, never do, but I do have love and blessings to pass around. Did you just receive yours?

What a day of loss....

2007-03-02T20:55:00.000-08:00

My day began with early news, and the news kept getting worse, it seemed. An Ohio ball team loses several members in a terrible bus crash. At least 20 people are dead from tornados. Anna Nicole is buried while her mother is heckled in the Bahamas. If one ever thought there was some permanency in life, this day should make them take another look.

Every moment spent living is precious, especially if it is spent with the true love of Life, our Lord. For the poetry lovers among us, from 'The Love-Life of our Lord,'

A Persian fable says: One day
A wanderer found a lump of clay
So savory of sweet perfume
Its odors scented all the room.
"What are you?' was his quick demand
'Are you some gem from Samarkand,
Or pure nard in this plain disguise,
Or other costly merchandise?'
'No, I am but a lump of clay.'

'Then whence this wonderous perfume -- say!'
'Friend, if the secret I disclose,
I have been dwelling with the rose.'
Sweet parable! and will not those
Who love to dwell with Sharon's rose,
Distill sweet odors all around,
Though low and poor themselves are found?
Dear Lord, abide with us that we
May draw our perfume fresh from Thee.

May you appreciate your life, the small parts of it as well as the large, and not forget who loves you as you are.

It's still too cold here...

2007-02-27T21:35:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry I'm a little behind on my blogging. I just returned from a short trip to Brazil. It was between 65 and 70 degrees warm. :) Part of the reason I was there was a conference about abortion. There were representatives of all viewpoints. While I have sympathy for women and ultimately think it should be her decision, I also think life begins at conception. While the Bible does not discuss abortion per se, it is not entirely silent on the subject. The scriptures say that God knew Esau in the womb. They say that John the Baptist stirred in his mother's womb when he heard about the impending birth of Jesus. Life is precious, whenever it starts. Ending a life at any time should be a very serious decision. I take a lot of flak for my position, and it's not an easy one for me. Some things cause deep emotional feelings in me. Abortion is one of them, so is the death penalty to which I'm opposed and homosexuality because I feel they have little or no choice about their preferences.

Having faith in God does not mean I have all the answers, and I do not wish to speak for or on behalf of others on any of these subjects. I take a stand when I can take a stand, when I am sure about something.

John McCain, Republican running for President, has changed his stance. He's gone from pro-choice to pro-life and now says Roe vs. Wade should be overturned. Mitt Romney, Mormon candidate, seems to have gone the opposite route. Because no one can know for certain, 100%, in many of these areas, I don't think the Presidency should be chosen based on their beliefs in those areas. Those are personal areas of life and faith. I will be very surprised if Roe vs. Wade is ever overturned. If it it, women will abort each other. There are many websites giving directions on the procedure.

Jg 13:7 "But he said unto me, Behold, thou shalt conceive, and bear a son; and now drink no wine nor strong drink, neither eat any unclean thing: for the child shall be a Nazarite to God from the womb to the day of his death."

Happy birthday, precious...

2007-02-21T02:46:00.000-08:00

Our Juleane is one year old today. The picture was taken the first month of her little life. The joy this child has brought into our lives cannot be measured.

We take pleasure in our children, as we should. Except for salvation, they are our most precious gifts, in my opinion. I cannot imagine life without them but, frankly, could lose them in a heartbeat. We live in very perilous times.

I have been reading Stephen Flynn's 'Edge of Disaster.' The possible scenarios of terrorism, storms like Katrina, flu epidemics and all kinds of dangers exist. We can prepare for some, lesson the effects of some, but we cannot avoid all. We can, however, have faith in God.

"Wherever God's finer points, His hand will clear a way."

God, through ways we cannot know, leads his own. I am convinced of this. When the way is not clear, there is no need yet of action. When the time comes, God will reveal what you need to know and/or do. People say to me, "John, that is naive thinking." I answer, "this is how I live." Where should I put my trust? .. in the hands of men, scientists, psychics, even ministers? No, I should put my trust in God and trust him to do what is best for us.

But for today, let us eat cake and make merry. Juleane is a year old today!

Call me skeptical...

2007-02-17T18:20:00.000-08:00

From recent news: "after Ted Haggard, the evangelical leader who resigned as the result of a three-year-affair with a male prostitute, emerged from just three weeks of intensive counseling to declare himself now 'completely heterosexual."

I am a Christian, a minister and a therapist, and I don't believe a word of it. Not that I don't believe in 'miracles.' My God is a God of miracles. But mircales are usually observable by others, are not 'self serving' blurbs for the evening news. In addition, I believe although I cannot prove that homosexuality is a 'genetic' condition or, at the least, the predisposition to be so is born in one. My reasons for believing this are many but the major reason is the consistent, solid number of homosexuals in the population as long as such things have been recorded. Even if I'm wrong, and it is a 'sinful choice,' one either seems to go one way or the other and doesn't suddenly change direction because he got caught in the media eye. We'll be watching Brother Haggard, and if I'm wrong, I'll apologize. Don't hold your breath. He and his kind of Christianity makes it so difficult on the solid believer who obeys God every day, not just when he's on the hot seat.

Discouraging news: "A survey of 1,000 American women found that they most valued their clothing, more than sex, and would gladly abstain from sex for 15 months (gladly....) in exchange for a new wardrobe. " Nothing to rejoice about here, husbands. Get out the VISA card. Goodbye more privacy.... If there's any space in labs left after testing for the daddy of Anna Nicole's baby, make room for new laws. The Jusice Dept. is preparing for a large-scale expansion of DNAesting of people detained by federal authorities (New York Times). Under current rules, only convicted felons are required to give a DNA sample.

My advice? Keep on keeping on. "When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble." Proverbs 4:12

How cold is it?

2007-02-15T20:12:00.000-08:00

Me and my little Valentine...

It is too cold, but supposedly going to warm up later this week. I am ready for some sunshine without the wind. But, it has been a lovely week, all in all. I enjoyed Valentine's day with my lovely wife. We got a sitter and went out 'on the town,' not something we've done much since the baby was born. I had to do my 'Puttin` On the Ritz` routine for her, a long story. She rubbed my back. ;) The simple pleasures of life are the best.

Many years ago, there was a monk who needed olive oil, so he planted an olive tree sapling. After he finished planting it, he prayed "Lord, my tree needs rain." Later, his tree needed sun, and you can guess how it went. The tree did not thrive, and it soon died. He told a brother monk about his experience. This monk said, "I also planted a little tree. I entrust my tree to God. He who made it knows better than me what it needs. I just prayed, "Lord, send what it needs."

Sometimes, we need to relax and let God take care of things ... like the lilies of the field, which need little attention yet they thrive.

"Matthew 6:28: ... See how the lilies of the field grow..."

Holy banana!

2007-02-14T15:07:00.000-08:00

Before we get onto anything serious, let me show you the dog that won in the Westminster dog show - the 'working dog,' Springer Spaniel. Charles was so happy, being the proud owner of three such dogs.

It is a gorgeous dog although I'm more into Labs, and my wife likes 'lap' dogs We really enjoyed the show, though.

One of my patients, seen today, is convinced that she is more perceptive than most other people and that her 'instincts' will never fail her (although she admits she needs a little therapy). When a person's thinking is so perverted that he/she thinks her thoughts or perceptions are affecting the external world, she is doing what is called 'magical thinking' or, in very serious cases, it is paranoid-like thinking. Magical thinking can get one into trouble. It is similar to 'positive thinking' at times. Positive thinking is a good thing, but it is not mixed with delusional or illusional ideation.

When President Bush says 'stay the course' or 'we shall prevail' when all the odds are against him, what kind of thinking is he doing? Is he seeing something we don't see or is he just more 'positive.' Is it natural to be positive when the signs are so negative?

Should we trust him or investigate more or just knock on wood?

I do not know the answers. I do not know God's ultimate plan for our country or for the mideast except what is written in Revelation -- I do not know the 'in between stuff.' I do know this:

Chance has not brought this ill to me;

It's God's own hand so let it be.

For He sees what I cannot see.

-- selected

An Update on American marriages:

72 % of mothers work outside the home, at least part time, down from 77% in 2000. (Bureau of Labor Statistics)

My wife, Carolyn, worked as children's book editor before we married. We both prefer she be at home with our young children, but she sometimes gets 'bored' with housework (face it, a lot of it IS boring :) One of her many hobbies is ceramics. I bought her a kiln of her own for Christmas last year, and she now makes and sells beautiful pieces, without leaving home except to market the work. We are both satisfied. There are answers to most problems. It takes some communication and planning and compromise.

Later.... :)

Believe it or not...

2007-02-13T17:01:00.000-08:00

A friend of Carolyn's came to dinner tonight. She then had to leave to go to class. At the ripe old age of 35, she has returned to get her bachelor's degree in an accelerated program. Attending a Christian college, she is required to take a few 'religion' classes which she says she hates for she claims to be an agnostic. No, I didn't ask why she chose a Christian college. Anyway, she said the classes remind her of all the reasons she hates 'all that bible stuff.'

Her feelings seem to be: There is no God. People just made him up because they need someone, and they are afraid to die. No one can prove He exists. While I think there is proof, there isn't the kind she wants. You know.... God to walk in, introduce himself as such and whish her off to a heavenly home, sending a videocast back to prove it to her friends. She admits to disliking authority, conformity, being thought of as a 'sheep' or follower. She prides herself on her independence and being different.

Faith is belief without seeing. I have it as millions do. I admit I occasionally need someone, and dying is a frightening thing to the unbeliever. I can't give her the reassurance (proof) she wants, but God can. However, He's the last person she will return turn to. At least, I hope she does someday. Right now, I mostly wonder why she is so angry about someone she doesn't believe in.

As for me, I have living grace now and will have dying grace when the time comes.

Isaiah 43:2 "When you pass through the waters... they will not sweep over you."

Hello... We're back...

2007-02-12T14:31:00.000-08:00

My best 'latest news' -- this is my new baby, Juleane. She will be one year old in a few days.

It has been a year since I had to abandon the blog for a while, but things have changed and I plan to continue.

While some things have changed, some never do. Sin still abounds.

A pilfering preacher actually stole a church and parsonage, a guy named Radic, in California. "When Radic pleaded guilty to betraying his flock and secretly selling the church and its rectory out from under them. He used the money to buy himself a brand-new black BMW and a laptop - exploits he later chronicled in a cheeky, almost gleeful blog about his double life as a sinner.

"We didn't know anything until we got a call from the bank that he had bought a BMW," said David Prater, who led the church board during Radic's tenure. "He drove that car right down Main Street."

Irate parishioners had been rooting for a long prison term of up to 16 months at his sentencing, set for Thursday.

But Radic's lawyer said last week that the 54-year-old former pastor, who spent six months in jail awaiting trial, will not have to serve any more time behind bars because he agreed to testify about the alleged murder confession of a jailmate. "

There is no man more vilified and hell bound than one chosen to lead other people who turns sour and takes advantage of them for his own benefit.

Matthew 7:21 "Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven."

Expectations...

2006-01-11T01:33:00.000-08:00

I'm up very early. It's 3:30 a.m. I woke up thinking of a young woman I will see at my 11 a.m. appointment. I have prayed for her several times and shall do so again. I have to decide what to say to her, what steps to take to unravel the mess her life has become, if I can.

This lady is 32 years old, and she has no expectations of life any more. She spent the last five years fighting 'Uncle Sam' for a disability benefit under the SSI program. She is technically disabled because of anxiety, basically. She is fearful of being around other people. Once, she became so upset, she told someone she was going to kill herself, and she ended up in the psych unit of her local hospital. Since then, she has been on one medication or the other, actually lots of others. She takes about seven kinds of psychotropic drugs. Drugs to sleep, drugs to wake up, drugs to calm, drugs to fight depression, etc.

Now, after a few years of this regimen, all she does is stay inside, watch television, eat and get online, going from blog to blog, reading about other peoples' lives while she really has none of her own. She has been so inactive physically, that she has developed early osteoarthritis and has gained about 60 lbs. Her joints stiffen up and hurt after sitting in a chair 12 to 16 hours a day, either in front of the TV or the computer. She gets up to eat or pee, that's about it. She has no social life to speak of, never goes shopping, never goes to church. She visits me now weekly; it was someone else before me, and she has to take, she says, two Xanax to get the 'courage' to come see me. I have no idea if she 'gets anything' out of her visits or even if she's alert enough to remember what we discuss. After her regular medications and two Xanax, I imagine she is feeling pretty mellow.

Why am I telling you all this? I'm telling you because I'm stumped. What do you say to someone with no expectations? Life is not supposed to be an easy ride with no bumps in the road. There are frightening events and situations and even frightening people, and we must deal with all that. Or do we? If we can take a pill or two to avoid it all, why not?

The why not is that nothing good will ever happen, not ever again. If you don't expect anything, you're rarely disappointed. We are not made that way. Our bodies and our minds are made to act, work, do, exercise, walk, run, think, ponder, solve, resolve. The old expression 'use it or lose it' is true. You were made to 'use it.' If we are not using it, we are losing the future, literally and figuratively.

But, once again, how do I say this to the young woman who is so satisfied with her little check each month, Oprah, Jeopardy and blogging? Pray for me.

Looking forward...

2006-01-05T20:14:00.000-08:00

Many people, when a new year begins, look back over the old year, sing the old songs, sigh and say goodbye, etc. I'm not much of a guy to look back. I like to look at where I am or forward. It's 2006 already, and we have a new baby to look forward to and pretty soon. It may not get a name but we are looking forward to it arriving. I think Carolyn is considering Chelsea Grace or Fia Elizabeth right now, but I've noticed Carolyn's mind is subject to change... quickly.

I've got some friends in local politics who are good people, and I hope to see them elected. My investments are going pretty well. I look forward to a few good revivals/concerts. The kids are doing well in school. Everyone is healthy. I look forward to a good year in my practice. I realized earlier today that I had thought of most everything except what I was going to do for God in 2006. Are you like that. It's not that we don't care. I know I do, but sometimes I put his work last when his work should be first. Shame on me. So, I'm going to spend a good deal of my devotion and prayer time on planning 2006 for God. What about you?

Ec 11:6 "In the morning sow thy seed, and in the evening withhold not thine hand, for thou knowest not whether shall prosper, either this or that, or whether they both shall be alike good."

Just thinking...

2006-01-03T14:24:00.000-08:00

Sometime during my moments of glee over both West Virginia and Virginia Tech winning their games this weekend, I began to think about what is really important in life. It crossed my mind that only two things alive today will last, not team victories, not political parties, not big corporations. The only things that will last are people and the Word of God. Everthing else will be burned up. Sort of gets your priorities straight, doesn't it?

"The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever." — 1 John 2:17

My wish for you...

2005-12-31T11:09:00.000-08:00

Joel 3:18 "And it shall come to pass in that day, that the mountains shall drop down new wine, and the hills shall flow with milk, and all the rivers of Judah shall flow with waters, and a fountain shall come forth of the house of the LORD..."

The blessings Joel speaks of are regenerating. Although they begin anew every 'new moon,' they belong to time; the fullness of the blessing is completed only in eternity; the dawn is on earth, the everlasting brightness is in heaven. The imagery describes the fullness of spiritual blessings which God at all times diffuses in and through the Church; and these blessings, he says, shall continue on in her for ever; her enemies shall be cut off for ever. Every gift of God to His elect, except the beatific vision, is begun in time, union with Himself, indwelling, His Spirit flowing forth from Him into His creatures, His love, knowledge of Him, although here through a glass darkly.

May God bless you often and well in the new year, and may you, in return, worship and adore him and give him the honor, respect and obedience he deserves. After all, he made you and gave you life!

Carolyn, the children and I hope you have the best year ever. Onward with 2006!

My wife, the control freak...

2005-12-28T21:35:00.000-08:00

I believe my wife is a control freak. I bought her 'The Sims 2' for Christmas, and she spends way too much time naming her Sims, clothing them, building and decorating their homes, naming their children and closely monitoring their social life. Oh, and she chooses their occupations.

I'm sure she is much more controlling than I am when I play Civ. I am the leader of my civilization, and I build my cities, roads, railroads, colonies, etc. and eventually I conquer all the remaining civilizations, killing them off if necessary, and claim the whole world as my own which takes a great deal of thought and planning. It's not control really, just perseverance.

I take comfort in knowing my wife will never be able to control me though. Now where are those scrubs she likes me to wear to bed?

So what did you get for Christmas?

It's Christmas Eve...

2005-12-24T19:43:00.000-08:00

and all is well in our household, and my prayers for my friends and loved ones are that the babe in the manger who grew to be the Son of Man and then Savior to the world is in your heart and minds tonight and that he will bless your sleep and your Christmas day tomorrow.

I leave this poem with you...

A PRAYER FOR CHRISTMAS EVE

On this, the evening of Thy birth,
Waits with bated breath the whole wide earth.
We long to hear the angels sing
Of the coming of our Lord the King.
Not yet for Him the thorny crown;
Tonight the Son of Man comes down
To a world that kneels in boundless joy
With Mary, who aches to hold her Boy.
There was no room within the inn,
But in our hearts is space for Him.
Tonight there comes the Prince of Peace,
Who from death doth bring surcease.
Church bells now begin to knell;
Born the Babe, Emmanuel.
To Him our voices now we raise;
With angels sing our song of praise.
Our simple hymn is “Alleluia!”
We greet the birth of our Messiah.
Together we join the sing Him laud,
Born this morn the Son of God.

--Author Unknown

Weeping through the night...

2005-12-20T14:44:00.000-08:00

A lot of time in my work days is spent talking to people in deep despair. Maybe she just found out her husband is cheating or, worse, gay. Maybe he lost his job of 30 years and feels too old to start over. Maybe a young man is contemplating suicide or a young girl is miserable because she thinks she's too fat. The list goes on and on, and the pains are as real as can be. I cannot fix everything, maybe not anything for I believe God does the 'fixing,' but I can listen and, in many cases, I can be a friend or a helper. It is not easy to convince those who are in such pain that the sun will rise again for no matter how dark the clouds, it always has. No matter how heavy the rain, somewhere there will be a rainbow peeping through.

We all will have trials in our lives, some more than others. Some trials are 'inherited,' i.e., begin with parents who destroy many avenues of happiness through drug abuse or alcoholism or impulsivity or just plain laziness or meanness. Many a child starts out nine strikes behind, and that's nine strikes too many. Some trials are brought about by our own foolishness or laziness. You can't expect to have a retirement income if you never save a dime. You won't get an education if you fail to study or don't show up for class. Your kids won't respect you if you are more buddy than parent. I'm sure you get the picture. You don't get a gold watch for not showing up for work. Free loading begets poverty in old age.

I've had some moments of despair. When my first wife died, and the doctors ripped my son from her dying body, I went nearly crazy with grief and anger, anger at the doctors and anger at God and whoever else got in the way. Yet, today, when my son laughs or runs or plays piano or just acts goofy, I feel sure that Maria is looking down from heaven and nodding her head, joyous that our boy is so normal and happy. The same Maria who refused pain medication in her dying weeks because she feared it would harm the baby is the woman who gave me the son I love so much today. I thank her and God daily. In their wisdom, I have joy even though I was so ungracious at the time.

Now, we have a new baby coming. Carolyn will lay another baby in my arms and, God willing, it and she will be healthy and strong. I would have told you that New Year's day nearly seven years ago that I would never smile again. And, I wasn't lying for smiling was the last thing on my mind or in my heart. I was a new Christian then and had no idea of the healing power or just the sheer love that God has for us. It's not that he has replaced Maria. No one can replace Maria. It's that he let me smile again. He lets my son smile. He lets me be part of a family again, and I am a family man.

After despair comes another feeling, another day, another opportunity. If we let it, faith will prevail over all the heartaches and trials that darken our lives. I know it is so, for it happened to me.

"Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5

Integrity..

2005-12-17T20:32:00.000-08:00

We are spending the weekend with my wife's parents. My children got so excited, I almost had to wrestle them to get them calmed down for bedtime. I didn't have to wrestle Carolyn. She just fell in and went promptly to sleep. :) Here I am at the computer, wide awake. Guess who did the least work today?

I spent the better part of the evening with Carolyn's father, a man I deeply admire and respect. He's a farmer. He has a BIG farm. He is quiet spoken and speaks few words but when he does speak, it's worth hearing. He is a man of integrity, and I would trust him with my life. He's a Christian man, has been since his teens.

We talked some about integrity tonight. I told him the following story about a judge I read about in one of Charles Colson's books.

"In his book Loving God, Charles Colson draws attention to an incident involving an Indiana judge named William Bontrager. Bontrager had to pass sentence on Fred Palmer, a decorated Vietnam veteran who was found guilty of burglary. The crime was caused partly by involvement with drugs and alcohol. Indiana law required a sentence of ten to twenty years for Palmer’s offense. However, new regulations designating a lesser penalty had gone into effect eighteen days after Palmer’s arrest. To complicate matters, Palmer had become a Christian in jail and seemed to have changed. Should the judge sentence Palmer, a man who had never been in jail, to ten years or more? Or should he declare the older statute in violation of Indiana’s constitution and give him a lighter sentence? Bontrager did the latter. Fred Palmer was out of jail in seven months, had a job, and was paying back his former victims.

The events that followed received national attention. The Indiana Supreme Court reversed the judge’s decision and ordered Fred Palmer sent back to prison. The judge’s attempts to fight the court’s decision during the next two years led to his own indictment for criminal contempt of court and, finally, his forced resignation. Fred Palmer was sent back to prison, only to be released twenty months later by the governor. Bontrager’s convictions cost him his job, but not his integrity."

Mr. Murphy shared this poem with me. I like it and like to think I live such a life. There is nothing more important to a Christian than God-graced integrity, in my opinion.

Myself

I have to live with myself, and so
I want to be fit for myself to know,
I want to be able, as days go by,
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don’t want to stand, with the setting sun,
And hate myself for the things I’ve done.

I don’t want to keep on the closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself, as I come and go,
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of a man I really am;
I don’t want to dress up myself in sham.

I want to go out with my head erect,
I want to deserve all men’s respect;
But here in the struggle for fame and pelf
I want to be able to like myself.
I don’t want to look at myself and know
That I’m bluster and bluff and empty show.

I can never hide myself from me;
I see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself, and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.

Source unknown

"Those who love Your law have great peace, and nothing causes them to stumble." Psalm 119:165

1962 .. that long ago?

2005-12-15T07:31:00.000-08:00

Today is my birthday. I was born in 1962 which makes me feel a bit old. That's the year of the Cuba Missle Crisis and the year that Pope John 23 excommunicated Fidel Castro. Jackie Kennedy gave a tour of the White House, and President Kennedy spoke at Yale. The Beatles produced their first record, and the Stones had their London debut.

Adolph Eichman was hanged in Israel, and the slippery slope began when prayer in public schools was declared unconstitutional. Moon River was song of the year, and a postage stamp cost only 4 cents.

Other important people were born in 1962, i.e., Jon Bon Jovi, Garth Brooks, Rosie O'Donnell, Tom Cruise, Wesley Snipes and Demi Moore. Marily Monroe died.

John Glenn orbited the earth; Johnny Carson took over the Tonight Show and pantyhose was sold for the first time in the USA.

My, how time has flown. :) Happy birthday to me...

Through it all...

2005-12-12T18:04:00.000-08:00

Someone asked on my blog 'does the hurt ever go away?' It reminded me of this wonderful song:

Through it All

I've had many tears and sorrows,
I've had questions for tomorrow,
There've been times I didn't know right from wrong:
But in every situation, God gave blessed consolation
That my trials come to only make me strong.

Chorus:
Through it all, through it all,
I've learned to trust in Jesus,
I've learned to trust in God;
Through it all, through it all,
I've learned to depend upon His Word.

I've been to lots of places,
And I've seen a lot of faces,
There've been times I felt so all alone;
But in my lonely hours,
Yes, those precious lonely hours,
Jesus let me know that I was His own.

I thank God for the mountains,
And I thank Him for the valleys,
I thank Him for the storms
He brought me through;
For if I'd never had a problem
I wouldn't know that He could solve them,
I'd never know what faith in God could do.

Take your hurts to Jesus. The worst thing you can do is give in to bitterness and say 'It's too late. Too late to change. I've been injured and wronged, and it's too great for me to ever forget.' The person with this mind set thinks they are an exception to the forgiveness rule. There are no exceptions. We are commanded to forgive.

God holds out hope. When God makes a promise, there are no exceptions either.

Romans 8:31 "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

Godly sarcasm?

2005-12-09T18:32:00.000-08:00

Does God ever get sarcastic with us? No.

Recently, a good friend accused me of insincerity, at best, or mockery as worst case scenario. I admit that I can be very sarcastic when angry or hurt. Even when I'm doing it, I know I shouldn't, but I get carried away with getting even or hurting back. The fact that I'm later sorry is no excuse, nor is the pain of whatever hurt me in the first place. I should have better control of my emotions or, actually, my temper. Just because someone digs me doesn't mean that I should retaliate (I says to myself). It has been a life-long shortcoming of mine that I give payback. You hurt me, and I'll hurt you back, but worse. A few of my friends know that and push my buttons anyway. Most don't. When the dust settles, I try to make amends, but we can't always, can we? Make amends, that is.

Because God knows exactly what is in our hearts, he never laughs at us mockingly. If we have evil in our hearts, he won't laugh, but he won't mock either. He has ways of dealing with the bad and the ugly that are appropriate. He doesn't need to taunt and mock and shame. God doesn't shrug his shoulders and walk away from us either. He won't cop out and say 'well, that's just me' or 'that's how I am' or all the excuses some of us use to explain our failures. Why is it so hard for us to admit when we are wrong? Back to God... He stays near as long as we are in communication with him.

God sympathizes with our weaknesses and forgives our sins. There are no secret struggles or silent pleas with God. He hears us, and he sees us, and he is as near as a prayer, always. If someone hurts you, shames you, uses or abuses you, you can take it to God and leave it there. If you do, I guarantee a healing of your spirit. That's how he is, and he is faithful and just.

Matthew 11:28 "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

Self-induced misery...

2005-12-05T17:27:00.000-08:00

Have you ever talked to someone who had such a jaundiced view of life that you went away feeling a bit slimed? Some people can't look at the world unless it's through a veil of paranoia or distrust, so jaundiced they can't perceive that another might not have an ulterior motive, might not want in their pants, might not want to con/steal/scam, might not want to take something from them. Even if bad things happen sometimes, it's not always that it was planned.

I think there are good people in the world. By good, I don't mean sinless, for none of us are, but well-intentioned people, people who want to be right, do good, give happiness. I hope I'm one of them. I talk to so many of the others. They have no clue that most of their misery in their miserable lives is self induced.

Here is an excellent poem about a man's self-induced misery. Think of the carpenter who made Jesus' cross....

The old carpenter shuffled slowly to the park bench.
He placed his wooden tool box reverently on the ground.
He had to put his hand on the bench to support himself,
While he lowered his creaking frame down to sit.

He surveyed the area, hoping to find a friendly figure
With whom he could converse, to pass the time,
But it was late November, and the park was empty.
And so it should be, he thought, so it should be.

A crow, with shiny black feathers, landed on the bench.
It cocked its head, and looked up at the carpenter
With an expression that brought to mind the words,
Have you been here before?

Many, many times, the carpenter said to the crow,
Though his voice was silent as the long dead leaves
That were still scattered about the park's broad expanse.
I have been coming here since 'fore this place's time.

I am the carpenter. I am the one who built the Cross.
I am the one who watched on the mount as the man
They called Jesus was nailed to what I had built.
I am the one who helped Him down, and laid Him to rest.

My penance for carving out the wood, and making the cross,
Is to wander the world until such time as I find that
I can forgive myself for what I have done.
I have many more years to wander, I fear.

As the carpenter turned to gaze at the crow,
The bird gave a squawk, and flew off to seek less noisy things.
The carpenter looked again over the park, with eyes
That contained no joy, no light...only the pain of ages.

The old man slowly reached for his tool box.
He stood up, wincing at the pain it brought,
And shuffled down the park path towards places unknown.
The crow watched, with a coal black eye, from a barren tree.

© Copyright J. John 2005

Php 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

Blessed redemption...

2005-12-02T16:39:00.000-08:00

The days are short now. It's 6:30 p.m. and already cold and dark outside. Another year is growing to a close. I am getting older (my birthday is in December), and my son will be seven, which seems impossible to me. Seems like yesterday that he was a two-pound preemie fighting for breath. Thank God for his blessings and saving power. On the bright side, Carolyn and Melina think I'm the best looking, strongest man alive (wink).

Our new baby moves in the womb, is healthy and is a girl! I am very excited about this baby, as I was about the other two, I guess to see how she will look, being part of both of me and Carolyn. Will she have reddish hair and dark eyes or my green eyes and Carolyn's dark hair? Hopefully, she won't have my long feet and will have Carolyn's beautiful smile. We are searching for name suggestions. We shall wait until she's born to choose one, I'm sure.

Back to my thoughts.. the year is growing to a close. I didn't get accomplished all I wanted to, but I accomplished a lot. Hopefully, there will be another year to work and worship and celebrate and many years after. But soon, Christmas will be here. The kids are excited. I am too. Christmas offers us a wonderful message. Emmanuel: God with us. He who is God was willing to come to earth. He breathed our air, walked our roads, knew our sorrows, shared our joys and died for our sins. He came to show us the way and take us unto himself. Oh, blessed redemption.

The root of all evil..

2005-11-26T17:48:00.000-08:00

A big story in the news today is about a Corbin, KY woman (I dated a woman from Corbin once. Just an aside. :) who was found dead in home, had been dead for days. She and her husband had won $65 million in a powerball lottery a few years ago. When they got the big bucks, they decided to separate. She wanted to buy a home, and he wanted to go to Austrailia. He never went, got into some trouble with the law. She bought her big house, but had a guy to die there of a drug overdose, and a renter was suing her or vice versa, lots of troubles. Her husband was only 43 when he died. She was 45. The police are awaiting a toxocology report.

There is so much here to write sermons about. The love of money being the root of all evil is one. The power of wealth and what it would do helped end their marriage. Money bought drugs. Money certainly didn't buy happiness for either of them.

How many times have we thought we'd like to win the lottery? Maybe we should be careful what we wish for, as the old saying goes.

Matthew 6:21 "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

Grrr...

2005-11-25T08:17:00.000-08:00

Once again, the blogger gremlin has destroyed my template, eaten my sidebar, etc. I shall figure it all out and return. In the meantime, I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving day. We did. Lots of good food, good company, good music and much to be thankful for. Have a great weekend!

Who? Me?

2005-11-22T09:14:00.000-08:00

I recently called an elderly lady who belongs to our church because she had not attended for a while. She said 'oh, I'm nobody. I doubt anyone noticed.' I said 'I noticed.'

Looking through the Bible, I've noticed that it is rare that a great thing was done by a crowd or a megachurch or even a famous preacher. Most significant events were put into action by one person. Some of the most 'famous' names in biblical history were those who probably considered themselves insignificant.

In Matthew 27:32, we read of Simon of Cyrene who helped carry Jesus' cross. One event, his '15 minutes of fame' and he will be remembered forever.

We, too, have a place in God's heart and His plans. No one who is a child of God is insignificant. As one beautiful song goes 'who am I that the son bled and died for?' You should not put down one that Christ died for, not even yourself.

Surely not in Des Moines...

2005-11-17T18:02:00.000-08:00

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." 2 Ch 7:1

What have you done in your home town lately to spread the gospel?

Well done, thou good and faithful servant...

2005-11-16T17:09:00.000-08:00

Adrian Rogers (1931-2005)
'Well Done, Good and Faithful Servant'

Dr. Adrian Rogers, a three-time president of the Southern Baptist Convention and the pastor emeritus of the 28,000-member Bellevue Baptist Church near Memphis, TN, went home to his eternal reward on Tuesday.

This man could preach, could he ever.

The firey coals...

2005-11-13T18:54:00.000-08:00

1 Peter 1:6-7 "You have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith... may be found to result in praise and glory."

Remember this..

2005-11-08T10:07:00.000-08:00

When you have been mistreated, it hurts. Especially if you've done nothing to deserve it. You feel it. You've been treated wrongly, and it stings.

But remember in the middle of all of it.. God hasn't left you. He hasn't forgotten you either. He understands the heartache brought on by the evil work of others. If you will allow it, if you will take your hurt to the Lord, you will find that a tender walk with Him will heal your pain, soothe your soul, and you will grow from the experience. Jesus is real, and you can know, present circumstances notwithstanding.

Cry out to God, as David once did, in Psalms 22:19 "But be not thou far from me, O LORD: O my strength, haste thee to help me."

And He will.

A new revelation..

2005-11-06T16:32:00.000-08:00

Matthew 10:26 "Fear them not therefore: for there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known."

Here is a fascinating article about an ancient Christian church found in Israel. Our world has so much yet to reveal, truths to discover, prophecies to fulfill, proof not only that Jesus existed but that he was considered (and is) divine. In time, we shall have answers for all our questions.

Ancient Church Found on the Grounds of an Israeli Prison
By ARON HELLER, AP

JERUSALEM (Nov. 6) - Israeli archaeologists said Saturday they have discovered what may be the oldest Christian church in the Holy Land on the grounds of a prison near the biblical site of Armageddon.

"This is a once in a lifetime find and the inscriptions are very rare," Antiquities Authority excavation supervisor, Jotham Tefer, told Israel's Channel Two.

The Israeli Antiquities Authority said the ruins are believed to date back to the third or fourth centuries and include references to Jesus and images of fish, an ancient Christian symbol.

"This is a very ancient structure, maybe the oldest in our area," said Yotam Tepper, the head archaeologist on the dig.

The dig took place over the past 18 months at the Megiddo prison in Israel's northern Galilee region, with the most significant discoveries taking place in the past two weeks, Tepper said. Scholars believe Megiddo to be the New Testament's Armageddon, the site of a final war between good and evil.

Tepper said the discovery could reveal more about an important period of Christianity, which was banned until the fourth century.

"Normally, we have from this period in our region historical evidence from literature, not archaeological evidence," he said. "There is no structure you can compare it to. It is a very unique find."

Everything about US shall be revealed someday too. Be aware.

1Cor 3:13 "Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is."

Tags: Armageddon, antiquities, Christian, fish symbol, Jesus

Will everyone be saved in the end?

2005-11-02T17:58:00.000-08:00

Will Everyone Eventually Be Saved?

II Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance."

The question of whether all will be saved could be answered as follows:

1) Everyone will eventually be saved.
2) No one will eventually be saved.
3) Some will be saved and some will be lost.
4) There is no way to know.

No. 1 is a very popular answer these days. God is gracious and merciful, and He can find a way to save everyone he created, they say. It is true that God is merciful and gracious. His grace goes far beyond our sin.

Some would say that no one will be saved, that no god would create hell to begin with, that the biblical description of hell is just symbolic, etc. Fifty years ago, preachers spoke often on hell, but you rarely hear it in most Christian churches these days. It's not a popular subject.

The third answer is a tough one for some people who have lost loved ones who were not Christian. The thought of never seeing a loved one again is difficult to handle, especially if you believe No. 3 is the correct answer.

No. 4, there is no way to know, is believed by those who think the scriptures are not decipherable. What about those who never heard the gospel, they say? (how do we know they didn't hear.. just thinking aloud).

If we believe that those who do not hear the Word could still be saved, would we have world missions? No. Most churches spend a good portion of the budget on missions. Missionaries risk life and limb to go to far away places to spread the gospel. Why would anyone do that if the lost are not really lost?

Even at home, why would we spend time in prayer, day in and day out, for our loved ones and friends if they are going to be saved in the end anyway?

Let's look in the Bible. These are the words of Jesus:

Luke 13:22 "And he went through the cities and villages, teaching, and journeying toward Jerusalem."

Luke 13:23 "Then said one unto him, Lord, are there few that be saved? And he said unto them,"

Luke 13:24 "Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able." (they wish and seek but do not 'strive')

Luke 13:25 "When once the master of the house is risen up, and hath shut to the door, and ye begin to stand without, and to knock at the door, saying, Lord, Lord, open unto us; and he shall answer and say unto you, I know you not whence ye are:"

Luke 13:26 "Then shall ye begin to say, We have eaten and drunk in thy presence, and thou hast taught in our streets."

Luke 13:27 "But he shall say, I tell you, I know you not whence ye are; depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity."

It seems the person asking Jesus the question wanted a 'percentage,' how many will be saved? Jesus doesn't directly answer him, but he does remind us that there is a "door" that leads to heaven, and like any door on earth, it swings both ways. You can be one side or the other. One door and only one, And yet it's sides are two.
Inside and outside. On which side are you? Yet, Jesus didn't directly answer the question, leaving some to believe the 'rejected' now might yet go through the door and be saved, sometime, somehow, somewhere.

Pretty much what Jesus did say was "Don't worry about anyone else. Make sure you are on the right side of the door."

You might be thinking, what do you (me, John) believe? I believe from my reading of the scriptures that that anyone could be saved but not everyone will be saved, at least on this side of eternity. I believe that everyone who calls on the Lord will be saved." I simply do not know if God will extend his grace beyond this life. As Jesus said in the scriptures above, I need to be sure I am on the right side of the door and try to see that everyone I care about, far and wide, are on the right side too, for I cannot tell them God will save them in the end, no matter what, for I have absolutely no evidence of that being possible. I find no scripture for that at all, despite all the clever verbage of the universalists.

I like the old-fashioned sermon: Hell is Hot and Time is Short. And I shall continue to preach it, just in case... just in case those I love might not make it after all. I might soften the message up a bit, since this is 2005, and I am not Billy Sunday. :)

This would be the end of my sermon the subject, the end of a sermon by a favored pastor friend: "God has done everything necessary for you to be saved. If you are lost in the end, you cannot blame God. After giving his Son to die on the cross, you have no excuse for not being saved. If there is a hell and you end up there, you will have only yourself to blame. That you are alive today is a miracle and mercy of God. Do not mock his kindness by rejecting his Son. Come to Jesus and you will never regret it, not now and not in the life to come."

So be it.

But can you prove it?.

2005-10-30T08:07:00.000-08:00

Rarely does a day go by that some nonbeliever doesn't tell me that I can't 'prove' that God exists or that I am 'saved,' etc. My answer is 'no, I cannot, no more than you can prove he doesn't exist or that I'm not saved.'

I know what I know. I know what happened to me. I know what's inside me and why I believe as I do. Most importantly, I 'know whom I have believed...' How do I know? By the eye of faith. How do we know anything? By what we see, hear and believe. I know there is electricity when I flip the light switch. I do not know all the ifs, ands and buts about electricity, but I know it exists.

There is an old gospel song that goes something like 'I can tell you the time; I can show you the place, where the Lord saved me by his wonderful grace...' Well, I can tell you the time and show you the place. You may or may not believe me, but you can't disprove it. I know because I know; I was there; I heard his voice; I believed. That can't be taken from me.

Romans 3:3 "For what if some did not believe? shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect?" No one's unbelieve makes my faith without effect.

Romans 10:17 "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."The nonbeliever, the mocker and scoffer even, have no faith because they do not listen to the word of God.

Galations 2:20 "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." Glory.. thank you Lord.

Go be set aside...

2005-10-28T20:36:00.000-07:00

My very first pastor was a soft spoken but plain spoken man. He was counseling me on how to best serve the Lord, whether I should preach, go to seminary, etc. He said to me, and I've never forgotten it, 'none of that matters, John, if you're not set aside for Jesus.' I asked him what that meant, set aside for Jesus. He gave me this verse: John 15:16 "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you." That didn't clear it up a lot for me. I was bible and christianity ignorant, having been an agnostic for the first 30 years of my life. My pastor was patient, however.

He said that a Christian is unlike any other. Anyone will be appreciative and grateful for good things that happen, but the Christian must rejoice always, in times of sorrow as well as gladness. Christians are expected to rejoice in persecution for His sake. We are to be in the world but not 'of' the world. In other words, we are unlike others and it should show. The best way to know if you aren't close enough in your walk is if no one can recognize you as different from the other folks, the nonbelievers.

John 15:19 "If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

If the world loves you too much, be on the alert. Worse, if you love the world too much, you are in trouble.

When one says 'yes' to Jesus, their 'fruit,' the continued product or growth of religion in their souls, is to remain, or to be continually produced, until God should call them from their work. The Christian, and especially the Christian minister, is devoted to the Saviour for life. He is set aside and his energies, love, devotion are directed toward Him. That doesn't mean he isn't a son, husband, father, neighbor, friend. It is that his 'main' preoccupation and devotion are to the Lord and his work. He who is set aside is to toil without intermission, and without being weary of his work, till God shall call him home. The Saviour never called a disciple to serve him merely for a part of his life, nor to feel himself at liberty to relax his endeavours, nor to suppose himself to be a Christian when his religion produced no fruit. He that enlists under the banners of the Son of God does it for life.

As my pastor said, set aside. Are you set aside?

Tags: chosen, elect, works, grace, devotion, faith, Christian

Unexpected pleasures...

2005-10-23T19:27:00.000-07:00

I tend to be a well organized, well disciplined type, planning and structuring so not caught unaware by life's catastrophes. Others live as I do but some live more chaotic or impulsive lives. But to all of us, unexpected things happen and, sometimes, the unexpected pleasures in life are the sweetest.

I finally got around to going through some of my mother's things, her art work, dairies, papers, etc. I found a packet of letters from my father to her, in the early years of their marriage, when he traveled so much. I was amazed at the 'private' man, very different from the public man who was tough and arrogant and impatient. Now I know him so much better. It was an unexpected pleasure to read his words to my sweet mother and made me remember both my parents with so much love and wonderful memories.

Meeting Carolyn was an unexpected pleasure. I had scheduled lunch with a small publisher, hoping to pitch my series of articles on prayer into a book deal. I was expecting a long, dull lunch, but hopefully a successful deal. To my surprise, he brought one of his up and coming young editors with him to our luncheon. Carolyn. Talk about a beautiful unexpected pleasure. :)

Reminds me of the grace of God, the most unexpected pleasure of all.

Have you had an unexpected pleasure lately that you can share?

Tags: surprises, grace of God, structure, chaos

Daddy, hey daddy!

2005-10-17T02:59:00.000-07:00

Ramses II, a pharaoh of Egypt died in 1225 B.C. At the time of his death, he had fathered 96 sons and 60 daughters. I am working on number three and may not survive it. :)

It's not my wife. She's handling her part quite well, and she looks wonderful and feels good. I, somehow, do not have my mojo working quite as well lately. From the time I get home to when I close my eyes at night, it seems one or other of the kids is saying 'daddy, hey daddy!'

It must be their respective ages, five and six, or something as yet undetected by me. How could two wee people have so many activities and interests? There are music lessons to discuss and practices to hear, languages to practice, home work to check (there should be a law about a 5 year old having homework??), soccer games to go to, to rehash again and again, sleep overs, unders and arounds, trips to Staples for school supplies, Target's for jeans, the computer store for what?? There are endless 'arguments' over which DVD to choose, what TV show is OK to watch, which snack to have, when and where, who will clean up after. There are baths to take, teeth to brush, stories to read, prayers to say, boasting to listen to, hugs and kisses to give and fears discussed, reassurances to offer. Does it never end?

I hope not. Thank you, God, for allowing me to be a father.

Mt 18:10 "Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven."

And God said 'who knew?'

2005-10-13T05:50:00.000-07:00

Katrina, Rita, Stan, the earthquake in Pakistan... did these events surprise God? Does God really know all future events? If so, why doesn't he intervene and save the lives of thousands upon thousands of people? Can a God be a loving God who knows what will happen and does nothing to stop it? On the other hand, could a God who doesn't know what will happen really be sovereign and in control of things? IS God in control of things?

I have been asked these questions a lot lately, and I am finding that more and more Christians believe in 'open theism' AKA 'free-will theism.'

Open theism is the teaching that God does not know all things. If people make free-will choices in the future, God choosees not to know or doesn't know because the future is not knowable. So, if we destroy the earth with global warming causations, etc., God could not know the future catastrophes that will result because of our free-will choices and, thus, could not intervene. He deals with it all when it occurs.

These are some of the things that 'open theism' seems to teach:

God does not know the future; God takes risks; God learns; God makes mistakes (because God does not know all things and because He is dealing with free
will creatures [whose future choices He does not know], God can make mistakes in dealing with people);God changes His mind.

As you can see, this is a different view/belief from that taught by many ministers of the gospel, that God is all knowing, never changing, sovereign/in total control.

One man asked "If the future does not exist yet, how does anyone, including God, know what will happen? Does he guess?"

If my friend smokes a pack a cigarettes a day and has done so for 20 years, I would assume/think/feel that he will get lung cancer eventually. Is that 'knowing' the future or just speculating based upon statistics? Not every heavy smoker gets lung cancer although they will no doubt get some unpleasant health surprises. I cannot know 'for sure' what will happen in the future. Can God? If so, how?

Does it matter if one is an 'open theist?' Is it OK to believe in Jesus Christ, repent of one's sins and be baptized but believe in a different 'view' of God than other Christians? Is God what he is or is God what we perceive? Can we 'go home' by different routes, different beliefs?

Building a better mouse...

2005-10-07T18:52:00.000-07:00

Most people are interested in improving their intelligence or, maybe more so, improving the intelligence of their children. Some are willing to go very far indeed, and there doesn't seem to be much worry over how ethical it might or might not be.

If a wealthy person hires the best tutors or employs an agency like Sylvan to improve their child's grades or intelligence, it is doubtful anyone would find that unethical. What if this same person pays a doctor to prescribe Ritalin for a healthy child to take before taking the SAT exam? Is that unethical? Is it more or less ethical if the parent is poor but saves the money and buys the Ritalin on the street? Is one kid more 'entitled' to have an edge than another? Ritalin has been shown to improve concentration in normal people, enough to raise SAT scores by 100 points.

Is it ethical for the U.S. Army to give Modafinil to soldiers? Modafinil can keep a person awake and alert for 90 hours straight, with none of the jitteriness and bad concentration that amphetamines or even coffee seem to produce. If there are no side effects and no detriments to the soldiers' health, what's the problem? We don't have to fight the enemy fairly do we?

We don't have to use drugs to make us smarter or more effective, there are other god-given ways, but they take a little work. Take eggs, for example. Eggs are rich in choline, which your body uses to produce the neurotransmitter acetylcholine. Researchers at Boston University found that when healthy young adults were given the drug scopolamine, which blocks acetylcholine receptors in the brain, it significantly reduced their ability to remember word pairs. Low levels of acetylcholine are also associated with Alzheimer's disease, and some studies suggest that boosting dietary intake may slow age-related memory loss.

Music lessons will help your child be smarter. Six-year-old children who were given music lessons, as opposed to drama lessons or no extra instruction, got a 2 to 3-point boost in IQ scores compared with the others. Similarly, Rauscher found that after two years of music lessons, pre-school children scored better on spatial reasoning tests than those who took computer lessons.

The benefits of exercise is known to most of us, improving most areas of functioning, not just the brain but especially the brain.

Then there's 'use it or lose it.' A very interesting study was done with a bunch of nuns who were 80 to 100 years old. How did Sister Matthia and the others cheat time? The study (Snowdon's) has found several common denominators. The right amount of vitamin folate is one. Verbal ability early in life is another, as are positive emotions early in life. Activities, crosswords, knitting and exercising also helped to prevent senility.

If we are smart enough to invent technology or drugs will will increase our brain capacity, shouldn't we? It would just add to the 'survival of the fittest' theory, right? Evolutionary theory suggests that if we are smart enough to invent . As noted psychologist Corneliu Giurgea stated in the 1970s, “Man is not going to wait passively for millions of years before evolution offers him a better brain.” Is there any danger that we might change a nation of achievers to a nation of drug takers? To get ahead... to have an edge, that's what counts, isn't it?

Many “smart” drugs are in clinical trials and could be on the market in less than five years. Some will help Alzhimer patients, but some will end up enhancing the brains of normal people. What's the harm in that?

Technorati tags: psychology, smart drugs, Alzhimer, Ritalin, eggs, exercise, music lessons, ethical, unethical

My baby is having a baby!

2005-10-02T22:50:00.000-07:00

This is just an update on the family since we got back from our long vacation.

We got the official news this week. We are having a baby which is due toward the end of March 2006. I try not to be one of those men who looks at his pregnant wife and thinks 'look what I did.' Yet... look what I did! lol One of my associates said that my pleasure in my wife's pregnancy is pride, one of the seven deadly sins. He is not a Bible scholar. :)

There is a difference in being pleased with one's accomplishments and the kind of pride of the seven deadly sins type, a pride that leads to self destruction or destruction of others. That kind of pride is deadlier than even lust by those who 'grade' or 'rank' the seven sins. For those who get offended by 'gluttony' (waste), it is the least deadly of the seven sins. :)

Anyway, I was born to be a family man, a husband and a father. This will be my third child. I would be like Robert Kennedy and have ten or so if I had a wife like minded. Since this is Caro's first, we'll wait and see. :) JW (my son insists on being called that now as he is too 'old' to be called Peeps anymore :( and Melina are cautiously optimistic that this child is a good thing. Of course, JW wants a brother and Melina wants a sister. With the history of twins in Caro's family, we might get both.

JW and Melina are in school, the second year at their 'academy.' My son is in 2nd grade and Melina in first. I got to do show and tell with my son this week. :) Caro is manning the infirmary next week. There's a lot of parent participation in the school year which is good. They are also into soccer, tennis lessons, piano and languages, so they stay plenty busy but have a lot of fun too. Caro, the help and I take turns at driving them here and there. I'm not going to complain for JW will be driving in ten years!

Besides my usual 30 hour week as a pschologist/therapist, I often do concerts or revivals or 'guest' preach here and there. I have been offered a pastor postion at a small church which would not require that I leave my current work. I've also been asked to run for a slot on the city council. I'm thinking that over a lot, not sure I want to go in that direction, although I definitely have my opinions on how things should be run.

Other than all that, we are winterizing the house and the cars, capping the pool, etc. as Iowa's winter is just around the corner. It has been down in the 30's at night already.

On a sad note, my oldest dog had to be put to sleep. I called him 'Beast' but he was the kindest, gentlest dog one could ever have. I got him when my son was born. He had developed a form of cancer and was suffering. I must say, it is killing me. I grieve for him as do the others. He was the big 'boss' dog, very protective of us and the puppies. Well, this is not helping so I'll call it a night (acutally, it's 1:14 a.m. central time). Hope you all had a wonderful Lord's day.

His journey here is over..

2005-09-28T09:25:00.000-07:00

M. Scott Peck who wrote 'The Road Less Traveled' and other wonderful books has died of cancer. Because of him and his works, I walked the road with much more confidence in myself and my Savior and have much more patience with my brothers and sister. When my time comes, I hope I have one tenth the impact on the world, for good, as did Mr. Peck. By now, I know he's out of pain and awaiting God's words 'well done, my good and faithful servant.'

The Road Less Traveled, was published by Simon & Schuster in 1978. The book has sold over six million copies to date in North America alone, and has been translated into over 20 languages.

Dr. Peck's second book, People of the Lie: The Hope For Healing Human Evil, was published by Simon & Schuster in October of 1983. It is recognized as a ground-breaking contribution to the field of psychology, and is currently a best seller in Japan. It is my favorite of his books.

Dr. Peck was a medical doctor, a practicing psychiatrist. He began his Christian walk as a Methodist.

Is there really such an animal?

2005-09-23T21:08:00.000-07:00

Adult ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) seems to have sprung a life of its own. In the past 20 years or so, the diagnosis of this condition has increased dramatically. We have more sophisticated diagnostic tools and the social acceptance of the malady may help explain what's happening, but there are other considerations.

When I first began studying psychology, the 'illness of the year' was 'borderline personality.' It was the diagnosis for 'I haven't a clue what's wrong with this person' as schizophrenia was the 'in' diagnosis 40-50 years ago. Some believe ADD is the new 'generic illness' of the year.

Times change, how people act, dress, speak etc. change, but the human brain itself has not changed that we know of, with our modern diagnostic equipment. An MRI scan of the 80 year old brain affected by the culture of 'roaring 20's' is no different in physicality from the 20 year old 'reality TV' cultured brain. In fact, our brains' hardwiring is virtually unchanged from prehistoric times. Over the centuries, we have learned to cram in more and more information without crashing from the overload. We handle the threat of over-stimulation by filtering the constant sensory bombardment. We acquire habits and routines that allow us to carry out many of our daily activities without having to think about what we're doing. When conscious thought is required, we are most efficient when we attend to one or two things at a time. We concentrate on one area in order to handle the action required competently and immediately. We ignore irrelevant materials floating around us because they are not our current focus. The ability to do that was always there. The cave man adapted to his surroundings and culture too.

Some things outside the brain have changed drastically though which makes me think there really is an 'attention deficit' disorder in some of us. At the dawn of the Twenty-first Century, we find ourselves living in an atmosphere of constant noise and never-ending, blow-your-mind stimuli. Our kids have more information to learn than people could have imagined several generations ago. 'Half Pint' on the prarie could not have imagined the space race, the racial divide and many, many other events since then. Then, there's the TV, the CD, the DVD, the ipod, the cell phone, the chat room, all demanding attention, not to mention mom and dad wanting perfection. After all that homework, they play endless video games with so much stimuli that some kids have seizures from the ever changing colors and movement on the screen. Automobiles are no longer just another means of transportation. They have become electronics on wheels with boom boxes, CD players, subscriber radio networks, and built-in television monitors and DVDs.

So, I can't help but wonder at the explosion in ADHD which results in medications for the condition being among the most popular prescriptions issued. We have adults and children who lack the capacity to concentrate on what they
read, what they see, and what they hear. When the brain fails to fully attend to new
information, it lacks the ability to lay down memory traces and the information quickly fades away. It appears the brain has not changed, but it cannot keep up. TMI.. too much information.

Personal lives are diminished for those who can't concentrate long enough to finish tasks they started with such good intentions. Interpersonal relationships suffer due to poor communication skills and the lack of that personal empathy which requires one to intensively focus on another human being to really understand their feelings.

While we continue to dispense the medications that act to filter the stimuli overload, and use psychological modification techniques to mold acceptable social behavior, we also need to look inside our own homes and practice preventive care.

We need to limit limit overexposure to the electronic world. We need to set priorities. We need to slow down and read books again, think and talk at the family's dinner table. We need to love our brain, treat it with respect.

We need to spend time with our kids and not use 'electric baby sitters,' be it TV, DVD, video game or internet. It's our future but, more importantly, it's their future. A medicated brain is not the optimal brain. Seek help when you need it but medication should not be the 'drug of choice.' Restraint and common sense in living the modern life would be most helpful. I won't add prayer and Bible reading, since I am read by Christian and nonChristian alike, but you know how I think. :)

Have a great weekend and happy concentrating!

God save us from the legalists...

2005-09-17T17:54:00.000-07:00

I talked a long time today, on the phone, with my good friend Matt who is a youth pastor in southern Virginia. He was telling me of some of the problems he was encountering from some members of the congregation. He said, laughing, 'God save us from the legalists.' I asked for his definition of 'legalist,' and he said 'one never knowing Grace therefore unable to be gracious.' I laughed for that is not the 'real' definition of legalism, and Matt is always entertaining. He was onto something, though, when he said legalists do not know about grace with a capital G.

Legalism teaches a salvation that is based upon human works instead of God's grace. They are concerned with, and some consumed with, the 'law,' following commandments. Whose commandments? We must follow the commandments of the Lord. 1 John 2:3-4
says "(3)And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments. (4) He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him."

Legalists go way beyond that. It's as though they wish to much to be like Jesus and somewhere along the line they think they've finally made it, and then they decide that only people just like them are like Him. Those who agree with them are right, and any brother (or sister) who dares disagree with them are wrong. They eventually lose sight of being like Jesus and aspire to be like themselves, their pictures of the 'perfect' Christian.

Since they "know" they are entirely and always right, they feel they must demand that their ideas/interpretations/opinions become those of all. Any dissenter is doomed, for legalists know (they think) exactly what God teaches and requires. If persuasion doesn’t change a brother’s mind, then other means are appropriate, even means which most Christians would say are totally inappropriate for a Christian. It could be banning/shunning another believer or 'churching them,' i.e., forcing them out of the congregation or some other form of 'persuasion.' If the brother does not conform, he is no longer accepted as a brother.

To "endure to the end," to survive the mystery of lawlessness that will mark the end time, we must hold fast to God's Word and seek His righteousness. "Blessed are those who do His commandments, that they may have the right to the tree of life, and may enter through the gates into the [New Jerusalem]" (Revelation 22:14).

On the flip-side of the coin, it is legalism to establish standards for other people when the Bible does not address the issue.

I am very leery of people who have a 'set of rules' that the Christian must obey if the 'set of rules' is not scriptural. Have you known Christians who are very concerned with how much make up your wife wears, how long the sleeves are on her dress, etc.? They took 'modest dress' and made it into a 'dress code,' legalistic behavior.

I advise the people who counsel with me about Christian matters to base their believes and their behaviors on the scriptures. Where the scriptures are 'silent,' they have personal freedom to pray and meditate and ask the Holy Spirit for guidance. They do not have to live under some cultish list of rules or by the rules of any legalistic tyrant out there, even if it's a preacher.

Legalism teaches a salvation that is based upon human works instead of God's grace. As Matt said, 'God save us from the legalists.' Let us be gracious to one another, loving one another, being tolerant -- not of sin but of the brother or sister who is striving to live the Christian life.

Finally, 1Co 13:2 says "And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing." Legalism and those practicing it are strangers to charity (love) or grace or graciousness. They are lost in their own 'laws.'

Speak up...

2005-09-13T21:20:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had someone suddenly 'shun' you, just not associate with you anymore, leaving you wondering what in the world you did to deserve such treatment? Why is it that some people just won't 'speak up?' Is it a fear of confrontation?

I prefer, when I have offended someone, somehow, that they say so and why. Else, how will I ever learn what I say or do that might be inappropriate? If I defend myself, and they understand me, then maybe a friendship is saved. If they still feel they are 'right,' the air has been cleared anyway, and both have had their say, and no one is left to wonder. 'Is it my breath?' lol

Proverbs 10:18 "He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool."

Do you know where your children are?

2005-09-06T18:15:00.000-07:00

and... what about your wife (or husband :)?

Worried parents who want minute-by-minute tracking of their kids online and off can turn to advanced radio frequency identity chips, global positioning systems (GPS), specially designed cell phones and new Internet monitoring methods. And the prices for these gadgets,once seen only in spy novels, are coming down to mass-market levels. The $900 GPS kid locator backpack has been replaced by a $100 GPS cell phone that, when coupled with applications like MapQuest Find Me and Teen Arrive Alive, can help find a errant teenager or a lost child. Parenting, it seems, has entered the surveillance age.

Sentry, an Internet-protection program that does more than screen out X-rated sites. Sentry and similar programs like ContentProtect, log e-mail, let you watch instant messaging conversations in real time, provide instant screenshots and send e-mail or cell-phone alerts when instant messaging conversations start to get explicit or reveal too much private information. And they allow parents to shut down the programs by logging on to the program from another computer.

This is scary stuff, at least it seems so to me. I do worry about kids with internet access, but is this kind of 'surveillance' a good thing? Whatever happened to trust? Can you imagine, when you were a teen, how you would have felt if mom and dad knew every step you took? Tracking a kid's car, listening in to his chats, just seems we are going too far. What do you think?

Judgement on a 'wicked' city?

2005-09-04T04:59:00.000-07:00

The Katrina disaster, according to some fundamentalist Christians, was God's judgement on a wicked city. I find that difficult to believe on several levels, the first being that Alabama took quite a hit too. Alabama wasn't preparing to have a 'gay mardi gras' parade that I know of. Natural disasters happen. To suggest that the many thousands of victims 'deserved' their fate is unbelievable. It is also a terrible way to view God's love.

If the claims are true, then what evil deeds were the victims of the Tsunami in Southeast Asia poised to commit? And why are cities like Rio de Janeiro still above water when Carnival celebrations are tolerated year after year?

If New Orleans is a 'wicked city,' how many more wicked cities didn't get deluged by Katrina? Why would God single out just one for judgement? If to make an example, a big city of rich white people might make a better statement and better 'press' for it seems many don't care for the many thousands of poor black people. Another question comes to my mind. I wonder how many of those victims are Christians?

I have no claim to know the mind of God. The bible says no one knows the mind of God, but simple logic tells me he would not operate that way. In the old testament, when God brought judgement upon a people, he gave plenty of warning and took credit for it (through his prophets). Thus, until God speaks, I believe it was a 'natural' disaster, not a supernatural one.

Why have children?

2005-08-30T20:54:00.000-07:00

Why did you have a child (or more)? If it was so the child would 'do something' for you, that might be the wrong reason. :)

Some children are loving accidents. A couple play around; she gets pregnant; he does the 'right thing' and they are parents. Now what? Many are planned, desired, wanted beyond measure but, when they get here, they are like little aliens. What to do with them?

Some 'facts' about children...

They will hurt you. Yes, they will. They will take everything you have to offer and give you only tiny drinks of what you desire. In time, they become more and more like, and, admit it, that's frightening. They will become guarded, and they won't love you as much as they did at age three. Then, eventually, they will leave you and seek love in distant places.

When they leave you, you will be forever changed. You will be deeper, richer, more capable, more able to love, because you had them. No university can teach you what one small child can, not in a hundred years, and the child does it in less than twenty.

Knowing all that, I love the feel of thin little arms around my neck giving a hug, arms holding onto my leg, hands tugging at my shirt or even my wallet, eyes fixed on me with something undefined in them, questions abounding. Come to think of it, becoming more like us? That's not really so bad, is it?

Resentment Shack

2005-08-25T22:50:00.000-07:00

In my practice, the most difficult personality 'trait' for me to deal with is resentment. Many of my patients live in what I call the 'resentment shack,' a shack, not a home. Resentment leaves no room for niceties.

Resentful people seem to require or expect a lot from others but expect little from themselves. They poison themselves but blame it on others. Someone famous once said that resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die, not realizing the poison within. A rattlesnake will become so angry that it will bite itself. That's what resentment does to people, turns on them, harming them more than the ones they resent.

How does resentment begin and take hold? Usually, it is harboring of animosity against a person or group who mistreated you. It could be unresolved anger over a negative event which occurred in your past life leading to lack of forgiveness and the inability to let go and forget. Pain in the past may have created a root of distrust and suspicion. One may feel he was unjustly victimized. Maybe he was and never could let go, never could forgive.

The fact is, many are hurt by others, one way or another, through life. There are people who crap and step over you, who ignore you or even abandon you, who don't listen to what you have to say, who undervalue you. But if you play the blame game, never get over it, never let go, never forgive, you end up the loser. First a victim, then a loser. Most victims don't become losers. They deal with it all.

Anger, resentment, anxiety, fear, depression – these feelings are signals that you are not in truth, that you are allowing your ego to have dominion over your soul. When you open your heart to learning the truth and learning what is loving to yourself and others, you will move out of the negative feelings and into the peace and joy that come from being in truth, even in the face of sadness and grief.

How does a Christian deal with resentment and what happens if it isn't dealt with? Is it different for nonChristians?

Who's life is it anyway?

2005-08-21T21:32:00.000-07:00

My wife may be with child (notice how I act like I had nothing to do with that :) but it's a bit too early to know for sure. It's not to early, it seems, to discuss nurseries, baby clothes, mama clothers and strollers. Yes, strollers. It seems you can get a decent, do-the-job stroller from Wal-Mart for about $60 but the top-of-the-line or state-of-the-art strollers for fashion-conscious mothers can cost upwards of $500. Wow! That's cruising in style.

I do not want to deprive my wife of any new mother feeling or experience, but I find it rediculous to spend hundreds for a stroller. Seems wiser to me to bank the extra $400 or so and give it to the child later. Obviously Junior or Junette will not know what kind of stroller it's riding in, so does it really matter what the neighbors or Jones' think? Apparently so, to many people.

Parenting has changed a lot. When we were an industrial society, people had kids to love, help run the farm and take care of them when they got old. The kids had love and a roof over their heads. It worked. If you count on your kids to take care of you when you're old now, you may be in for a big shock. And while you love them, they may not love you back, at least for long. By age seven, they seem to throw you over for the school teacher's aide someone else much more in the know that you. If you don't gift them with the lates video games, sneakers, jeans, ipods, cell phones, etc. you are simply abusive.

But the fault is not all with the kids either. Parents seem to live vicariously through their children. I watched the annual 'word power' show today on NBC (with Al Roker as MC). A little oriental girl named Ming-Ming won top prize, $25,000. The mother of the child came up at the end of the show. I cannot describe how she acted. It was more than just pride. It was so 'look what I raised' that it amazed me. The kid was the coolest, by this I mean nerveless, anxietyless, kid I ever saw. I believe she has been groomed to win all her life. Do these kids ever get to just play?

Maybe I am a failure as a father. I think piano and soccer are enough weekly lessons besides school and Sunday School. I haven't tried to be sure they get into Harvard as they are just 5 and 6 years old now. It won't be the end of the world if they go to the University of Iowa (great football), will it? I see nothing wrong with K-Mart sneakers and Target jeans. It will be many a year before they get cell phones. Ipods, maybe. Video games, probably not for kids don't really like the nonviolent ones, do they? DVD's and such are reviewed for content by me so what's the fun in those?

So how do you feel about status seeking or do you consider it that these days? Am I just an old bear?

What was Jesus really like?

2005-08-18T22:51:00.000-07:00

A well-known Christian author said that men Prefer a 'Leader' Jesus Over a 'Warm, Fuzzy' One. He further said that men are leaving the Church in increasing numbers, and it's a problem the Church needs to solve.

If one searches the scriptures, he'll find that the Lord is knowable and has certain 'traits. For instance, God (Jesus is also God) exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth according to Jeremiah 9:23-24 God is approachable, and he's near by. See Psalms 145:18 Of course, we know he is creative! That's how WE got here, among other things. He's forgiving and honest and trustworthy. He keeps his promises. There is so much more to know about him.

But back to the question of men wanting a 'leader' over a 'warm fuzzy Jesus.' How do you see Jesus? Do you see him as a super sensitive man, a party goer, a ladies man, a 'wimp?' I've read articles that said all those things about him. Rarely, do people talk about his leadership abilities. Yet, he gathered twelve men about him and changed the world forever. I think that's pretty good leadership!

Do you prefer the 'tough' Jesus who whipped up the crowd while cleansing the temple, the Jesus who stoically endured the many lashes before the cross, or the 'warm fuzzy Jesus' who 'wept?' Do you think Jesus has been misrepresented in most literature, movies, etc? When you close your eyes, do you see the Jesus with blue eyes and light brown hair with caucasion features and soft hands as in depictions popular 60 years ago or do you see him as he probably was, short, darkish skin, muscular from tent making and carpentry, with nappy hair? Does it matter how we 'see' him in our minds?

What would you say to the men who are leaving churches in large numbers?

Who believes in you?

2005-08-15T22:12:00.000-07:00

There is a good discussion going on over at Charles' blog about what it is that husbands and wives need from each other. I can think of several important things, but the most important to me is affirmation. I am appreciated by many, I think, but my wife believes in me. I can't tell you what that means, how much that means, to me.

The distinction between appreciation and affirmation is that appreciation is for what you 'do.' It can come and go depending on what you have done lately. Affirmation is much deeper and goes to what the person 'is,' and it is directed to the person himself/herself.

Encouragement can include both appreciation and affirmation, but affirmation is rarer, isn't it? We all need someone to believe in us.

I hope you have someone who believes in you.

Precious time...

2005-08-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

I'm in an introspective mood so bear with me. If all goes well, I'm about half way home. 40 years of time behind me and, based upon life expectancy in the USA, perhaps that much ahead. What should we do with all that time? Is time just directionless and vacant, waiting to be filled spontaneously or is some planning required? Can one have meaninful activities and personal accomplishments without planning? Is it important to have those things or is it OK just to fill time without thinking ahead? I wonder if I could look back with as much pleasure if none of it had been planned (and, of course, not all of it was).

This is one of the bible verses having to do with time..

Ecc. 3:1 "There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven.'

Do you think there is an appointed time for everything by God?

I do know that there is nothing in this world perpetual. What you do not experience today, you may experience tomorrow or you never experience it.

Perhaps God, understanding the inability of men to attain, by philosophic inquiry, to a full comprehension of his works and ways, has wisely set the world in their heart; that is, has occupied them to a large extent with its cares and labors, as a discipline that is good in its place. Their wisdom and happiness lie, then, not in vain endeavors to comprehend what is incomprehensible, but rather in submitting themselves in faith and patience and planning to the appointments of their
heavenly Father.

I suspect it is never out of season to accept God's gifts joyfully and use them wisely and do good with them for self and others.

Then, is it a sin to 'waste' time? Precious time? Or can time be wasted?

Do not fear, Christian. You are not alone...

2005-08-09T18:28:00.000-07:00

God knows where you are. Yes, he does. He knows where you are, who you are, what you are doing and what you are not doing. That's rather daunting, isn't it? Sometimes, we'd like to be anonymous, especially when we're not doing. Or not doing 'right.'

How often are you afflicted with those feelings of being forsaken, of being alone? Too often? Instead of throwing the 'pity party,' go back to God's word. As he says in Isaiah 41:10: 'Do not fear, for I am with you.' I don't know about you, but I find that so comforting.

God talks to me that way. No one else hears the voice, but I do. The first time I heard it, his voice, made me jump up out of my seat, walk to the front of the church (the first church I ever attended) and give my life to him. He had said to me in my mind/head/whatever 'I am yours and you are mine.' I believed him. Why else would he have said it? I didn't ask. Didn't know I could ask at the time.

I was not a poor boy, unloved and neglected. I was a doted-upon only child. Yet... No one had ever said to me 'I am yours.' I knew I could depend on my parents of course, but I never felt I 'owned' them or could even rely on them if I wasn't a 'good boy.' God didn't say to me, 'John, I am yours when you're a good boy.' Nope, just 'I am yours and you are mine' Praise his name forever, it changed my life in ways I never could have imagined.

Based on that, I turned my life completely around and I'm still reeling from it. :) I have occasional moments of lonliness or doubt, we all do I guess. The lowest point in my life, I believe, was when Maria was dying, and I didn't know if my son would live. Even then, God talked to me. When Maria died, I ran like a crazy man.. from the hospital where my son was clinging to life, to the funeral home to be with Maria, to the chapel to yell at God, back to the baby and so it went for weeks. Yet, I never lost that sense that he was with me. 'Fear not, for I am with you.'

When you are feeling insignificant, alone, lonely, forgotten, misunderstood, rejected, forgotten, out of sorts, full of self pity, forgotten, judged, hurting and forgotten, remember that you are not alone. The Christian is never alone, never forgotten.

John 14:18 "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. "

And don't forget, if you're my friend, you're never forgotten by me either. :)

No one said it is easy...

2005-08-05T22:16:00.000-07:00

Maybe you are in the middle of a big decision, a time when you have searched your soul for a way out of actually following God's plan for your life. It may be down to your will vs. His will. Perhaps you don't want to give up certain things you enjoy, someone you care too much for and shouldn't or some other 'right' or 'privilege' you enjoy. Think carefully before you thwart the will of the Living God. Letting Him have his way can be a very uncomfortable thing, but if He truly is Lord of your life, you can do nothing else. There are many kinds of sins, including the sin of wanting your 'own way.'

Psalm 143:10 "Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness."

Taking on Goliath

2005-08-03T07:21:00.000-07:00

Most of us have heard of the story of David and Goliath. Goliath was a soldier in the Philestine army, a man who was anywhere from 6 1/2 feet to 9 1/2 feet tall, depending on the bible source, a 'giant' in those days when the average man stood about 5 foot 2 inches tall. Goliath would taunt King Saul's Army daily, walking over the cliffs, yelling at the troops below. 'Kill me,' he said, 'and the Philestines will serve you.' 'If I kill you, you will serve the Philestines. Is there none among you brave enough?'

David was brave enough. Although too young to join the army, he convinced King Saul to let him try to kill the giant. Saul didn't have much to lose. If it worked, the giant would be gone. If it didn't, he could always say that David 'was just a kid.'

As the story goes, David used a sling and tossed a stone that hit the giant in the middle of the forehead, not bouncing off but denting, boring in and felling the giant. David then finished him off with the giant's own sword. The people adored David thereafter, and he eventually became King, no accident since he was 'preordained' by God to be king, making way for his son Solomon, etc.

Do you have a Goliath in your life, a giant of a problem that won't go away. What can you learn from David's experiences?

First, you need to know the true nature of the battle. David knew what he was facing. It was not just a physical battle but a 'spiritual' one for the giant had demoralized Saul's army with his taunts, demeaning the King and his God.

Next, you have to be prepared for the battle. David had many experiences killing bears and lions, protecting the flocks when he was shepherd of the family. He had gained confidence. He had memories of many victories behind him.

He knew where his strength came from and gave credit to his God, in word and in song, songs that live on to this day.

David was 'chosen.' Saul chose David but, ultimately, God had chosen David. The wrong person can't do the right job. Make sure you're the right person before tackling the goliath that torments you. If you're not, find the right person for the job. There's no shame in asking for help.

Also, David didn't listen to the 'naysayers,' those who thought he was too young, too weak, etc. He knew himself and his abilities and his God. He didn't let others 'get him down' and make him weak when strength was needed.

Lastly, there is no 'goliath' that can't be destroyed if God is with you. Have a great week!

Hurricane season...

2005-07-28T21:53:00.000-07:00

Part of our vacation was spent in Mexico.. the part where we shared the beach with a hurricane! At one point before we reached final shelter, my six year old son was anxious. 'Will we get dead?' he asked. 'No, we won't get dead,' I reassured him. I told him that we were not alone and would not be alone, that God is with us now and always will be. (Matthew 28:20). I told him how the Lord was with Paul in prison when everyone thought he was alone. How he was with the 'guys' in the firey furnace when the king thought they were alone. How David killed the giant with a little stone because the Lord was there with his added strength. 'God will give me strength to keep you safe' I added. And I told him how many times the Lord has been with me in the past ten years. 'When you were born three months premature, weighing about one lb., I felt alone for a little bit, but I wasn't alone; He was there and 'now, here we all are again,' I said.

My son, being a big movie fan, said 'He's like the invisible man then, huh?'

'Something like that but better,' I said.

When we finished talking, my son was feeling a lot braver. So was I. :)

We reached the home of my minister friend and weathered the storm, and none of us were alone.

Fear of the Lord...

2005-07-24T20:41:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, Caro and I are working on having a baby. This (see below) has put the fear of the Lord in me. A good friend in Sweden .. just had triplets in the family after having twins 3 years ago. Can you imagine 5 babies in that period of time? Wow.. and Caro is a twin and there are lots of twins in her family. :)

Aren't they cute?

Nothing like the real thing....

2005-07-20T19:21:00.000-07:00

Remember the tune 'there's nothing like the real thing, baby?' :) It's true. The real thing always beats deception. There are two main kinds of deception... fooling others and fooling yourself. Fooling yourself may have the most serious consequences because you have a false sense of security. You say to yourself 'I'm OK' when you're not OK. You begin by knowing better but, after a while, your continued deception convinces your own mind or you say to yourself 'there's time to change.' And then times run out.

The counterfit Christian practices deception of both kinds usually. They talk the talk but don't walk the walk. If they talk the talk long enough and well enough, they may not recognize when it is too late to repent, to change and make it real.

Jesus talked about this deception. He said: “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven."" Further, he said :On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And.. "And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

That is definitely not a speech I want to hear. So, what is he saying? It's not good enough to talk the talk, to pretend. You MUST DO something.... actually repent/change/turn over a new leaf/actually obey the Lord.

It's not good enough to 'believe' only. James, in his letter, wrote, "…Even the demons believe-and shudder." In other words, it's not enough just to believe the right kinds of things. That's just the starting point.

In 1 John 4:1, we are told to 'test the spirits' for truth. So how do you recognize the counterfit Christian? Here are a few ways. You may think of more.

There are: Those who are only superficial in their Christianity.

Those who associate with the wrong people.

Those who continue in worldly sin.. you know the vices I'm talking about.

Those who lie continually for whatever reason or rationalization they come up with to make it look like something else.

Those who think that Christianity is a great thing for the inside; to soothe one's conscience...but that's about it. Their Christianity doesn't affect them practically.

Those who are very particular about good doctrine, but it's only intellectual to them. If you went to their home and privately interviewed their kids, or if you talked to their workmates or neighbours, you'd find he or she doesn't practice what their so passionate about.

Those who may even be busy and active doing church things for the wrong reasons. If you were able to scratch the surface and see underneath the veneer, you'd find that they only serve if it gets them attention. They're really just serving themselves under the pretence of serving God. You find it's just for show and not flowing from a vibrant relationship with the Lord.

Further, they may question God, misquote God, deny God, disobey God, all the time pretending they are 'trying' to be a Christian. You either are or you aren't. You've either believed, repented (changed) and been baptized or you haven't.

Have you honestly examined yourself? Obviously, Jesus is saying that there's a possibility that some are deceiving themselves. I hope it's not you. Remember, you must be a 'doer' of the word, not just a reader or believer.

Bubba said hello...

2005-07-17T11:19:00.000-07:00

Greetings... from Corpus Christi, TX. Just checking in... We attended church this morning at the First Baptist Church of Corpus Christi where the preacher is really called 'Bubba,' Bubba Stahl. Great church, great service. Hope all is well with my blogging friends.

Going on Vacation!

2005-06-28T17:14:00.000-07:00

Caro, the kids and I are leaving for a combination business and vacation trip, including a week in Texas. We will be gone for six weeks. Take care, stay out of the heat and let the Lord lead you daily. :) Blessings...

Monkey see, monkey do...

2005-06-24T13:19:00.000-07:00

Monkey see, monkey do... that's a phrase with which most of us are familiar. Some people call those we emulate 'role models.' There is no more important time to have good role models than in childhood.

In their early years, children imitate their parents or parent substitute figures. They quickly pick up their mannerisms, the way they walk, talk, etc. However, they also pick up 'bad' or inappropriate behaviors.

When we were kids, my friend, Matt, used to 'smoke' candy cigarettes. He would 'puff' them and hold them the same way he saw his father do the real things. As a teen, he started smoking the real things, and it was a difficult habit for him to break when he became a Christian. His father, in that instance, had been a poor role model.

I have known families where one or the other (sometimes both) the parents 'cheat,' that is, are unfaithful sexually to the mate. Children learn from this behavior that love is not trustworthy so is it any wonder a child may grown up unable to commit to another or unable to trust another or has a disrespect for their mate, resentment, even hatred.

There are many ways to be bad role models. I remember a family where every adult in the family was on some kind of public assistance, i.e., social security, SSI, unemployment, workmen's compensation. All their lives, they had been in homes where the parents had done the same thing. They learned early that one didn't always have to work for a living. I realize that some people really do need these benefits, but some don't. Some start applying at age 30 and it may take ten years to finally 'get' it. Some use an accident that injures one limb to get get benefits and never get educated to do a job that could be done without the use of that limb. A neighbor of my dad's used to help people get their benefits. He called himself a 'pettifogger,' one who helps scam the system.

[Pettifogger: 1 : a lawyer whose methods are petty, underhanded, or disreputable : SHYSTER]

If a person's physical ailments weren't that bad, he would coach them in mental illnesses, the symptoms, etc. Also, he would have them claim physical ailments difficult to disprove, i.e., headaches, back pain, muscle aches, etc. Often, the person would get the benefits based upon a 'combination' of illnesses. In the mental illness cases, after a while, he would send them to the local mental health clinic where they would practice their newfound symptoms and establish a public record of mental illness, and so it began. After they were 'crazy' long enough, they would win the coveted prize, a disability check. This sounds cynical, but it is true. People do these things. They give a 'bad name' to those truly deserving of help. What did this neighbor get? A percentage of the 'back pay.'

My father used to lease housing to many of these people. He called them 'tenants on the dole.' Sometimes, eight to ten SSI recipients would live in the same apartment. He would cash their checks for them, withholding the rent money. They made a killing... ten people x $517 a month (at the time) .. lots of money left over for beer and such.... lots of such.

Parents who are irresponsible, who malinger often raise malingering children. Children can be taught to NOT want to work as much as the reverse... by example.

Irresponsible parents can do much damage to their children. Children of untreated alcoholics, drug addicts, children of parents who 'act out' in rage or 'fainting' or other behaviors that get that out of their duties and responsibilities as parents teach their kids things they never imagined. If Susie sees Mommy lay in bed drunk or depressed, and the neighbors come by and feed them and clean house learn.... 'hmmmmm, if I don't want to clean my house or take care of the babies, I'll just do what Mommy did. Worked for her' They may not say the actual words, but they do the actual deeds for they have subconscious memories of the behaviors. If Bobby sees Daddy hit Mommy and get by with it, he later may do the same. 'I'll teach her a thing or two...' It's true the acorn does not fall far from the tree. Of couse, some kids do the opposite with much bitterness and resentment in their hearts toward the poor role models of parents. Either way, there is a damaged kid.

One can think of other examples, the mother who pops a pill or takes a drink at every 'calamity' sends a message to her kids... it says 'I can't cope without it.' Later, she wonders why her kids can't cope without it. A dad who's never home, works late (or something) all the time sends the message 'you kids aren't important enough to me to even come home.' When he gets older and could use some companionship from the kids, guess who doesn't care enough then?

Philippians 3:17 says "Brethren, be followers together of me, and mark them which walk so as ye have us for an ensample (example)"

There are usually two kinds of professing Christians --those who imitate the Saviour, and those who are worldly and vain and irresponsible. Our religion takes its form and complexion much from those with whom we associate; and he will usually be the most holy man who associates with the most holy companions. The most 'whole' parents bring up the most 'whole' children. It just makes sense.

Something to think about... we are responsible for the people over whom we have influence, especially our children and we will be held accountable for our actions, or lack of them. That's a sobering thought, isn't it? I think about it a lor for I am responsible for those in my 'flock' and those in my practice. We are responsible to set the best example of godly living we possibly can. We are not responsible for their behavior; they still have a free will to choose to follow our example or not. But if we do not give them the role model we should, we will be held accountable to God for our failure to be a good example. No amount of justification or rationalization excuses us from our responsibilities to be good role models. It's not correct to say 'I couldn't help it.' 99.9% of the time, one can 'help it.'

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time.

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
A fornlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again. -- Henry W. Longfellow

We need to check those foot prints once in a while.

God's planning..

2005-06-20T23:53:00.000-07:00

I'm often asked 'Does God have a plan for my life?' The answer is yes. Did he decide that you will work for Sears for 25 years and get a gold watch when you retire? Maybe not that specific a plan, but could be. However, I do know that he has 'general' plans for all of us, and I believe he has specific plans for us too.

Jeremiah 1:5 says "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations."

(Sanctification in the heart of a Christian is progressive. It consists of becoming more like God and less attached to the world; in getting the ascendancy over evil thoughts, and passions, and impure desires; and in becoming more and more weaned from earthly objects, and attached to those things which are unseen and eternal. The word also means to consecrate, to set apart to a holy office or purpose.)

If God knew Jeremiah before he was born, it follows he knew us all before we were born.

The same idea of foreknowledge is revealed in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, 1:3-4.

“Blessed be the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavens, as he chose us in him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and without blemish before him.”

God had these plans for man, for sure. He told us to “be fertile and multiply” (that was for a man and a woman). This is soon followed by the commandment "Fill the earth and subdue it". Gen 1:28. The earth is not yet filled and subdued. There are lots of resources and there is much unused land. Not many people will want to hear this, but we were ordered to be chaste, not to sleep around and especially not to sleep with same sex partners, animals, inlaws or have other perverted sexual relationships. Before we were to become fertile and multiply, we were to marry.. one marriage was the ideal. We were told to have children (if we marry and if we can physically), children to bless us, enrich us, children to carry on God's plans.

Of course, the most important of God's plans was his plan for salvation for us, through his Son, Jesus Christ.

We should plan our own lives around the commands of our Lord. A man who would build a ship or a plane or a building even without some kind of plan would be a foolish man indeed. Yet, so many people just flop around in life, no plan, not much thought even, buffeted by any 'wind of doctrine,' influenced by all manner of evil people, evil books, evil movies, etc, giving little or no thought to the poisoning of their own souls.

If you feel like you're driving through life without a road map, you need to seek guidance and allow the Holy Spirit to show you what the plan for your life is/should be.

First, You must start by Understanding that God's major plan for you - as it is for everyone - is to bring you to a saving relationship with Jesus and transform your character to reflect Jesus' love of God and people. If you make it your top priority in life to pursue that relationship with Jesus, you will find that everything else will flow from that.

Figure out your talents and skills and pray about them; ask God how He can use you and your talents. Yes, you have talents and skills.

Read the Bible, study, think on it, be alert for the leading of the Holy Spirit. Those who are 'called' have to listen. You don't hear God's call on MTV or even Fox News or on Desperate Housewives. :)

Keep your eyes on God, surrender your will to His, wait for His peace, wait for His timing and, finally, step out in faith. Don't throw away your life on useless living when you can be in the likeness of God! :)

Php 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." That's how one tells the difference in God's plans and our plans.

In my father's footsteps...

2005-06-15T19:47:00.000-07:00

Last night, I watched 'The Lion King' for the umpteenth time with my children. I thought it a good lead in to discussion of 'Father's Day.' If you saw the movie, you may recall that Simba, the son of the King, Mufasa, was in a bit of trouble and the father was scolding him for his deliberate disobedience. As they walked along, Simba was walking in the footprints of his father. He noticed that his little paw did not fill even the space of one of his father's toes in the muddy footprints. It was a revelation to him and one he needed to have. He was not yet a 'man' and not yet 'king.' He had a lot yet to learn.

My own father was a bit of an enigma. Physically, he seemed like a giant when I was a kid, 6'7" and maybe 220 lbs., gruff, imposing. Mentally, he was cunning, sly, wiley and no one's fool. He was a competitive, aggressive, sometimes even obnoxious man. He played to win, always, but it was never 'play' to him. He was one of those Americans who came to this country and started out with nothing, made a million (and more) and never let you forget it. Yet, he treated my mother as if she were made of glass, protective, loving. He gave thousands to charities and churches .. not because he believed them or in them but because he believed in the possibilities for their children. He could shoot and butcher a deer without blinking an eye but carried a wounded baby bird in his pocket for 2 days to save it. I never saw a tear in his eye, but I saw many hands in his pockets over the years.

He treated me with a mixture of possessiveness, ownership, disdain and love. I never knew quite what to make of him. He was very strict but not abusive. I suspect I didn't fill his footsteps very well, at least now how he wanted them filled. I know I never grew out of his shadow, not quite. He was larger than life. In his last years, we finally were able to talk without 'fighting,' respect on both sides. We never did agree on the 'philosophies' of life but we agreed on everyone's pursuit of their own. We didn't agree on politics or religion, but we agreed on my mother and my children. We were able to find a 'middle ground,' big John and little John. I don't think we quite approved of each other, and I don't think he cared. I did care but not enough to sell my soul as he would say. He never respected a 'yes' man so I don't over worry about it now.

When thinking of my dad, I often think of this poem:

A Father's Footsteps

A boy is raised to follow his father's footsteps...
But a boy is small,
His father's feet are wide, his father's stride is long.
So a boy might run to keep up
Or he might stray and wander.
But, his steps will never strike the earth
Where his father's did.

Long ago I chose to wander.
Only as a man did I also stop
And look back at your foot steps.
Your's are wide, your stride long.
My steps have become wide and my stride long also.
Yet they are different paths.

My only wish is that at the end of my journey
I will be able to look across
And see that the peaks and summits on my trek
Were as high as your's
Even though on different mountains.

Grey Chisholm
22 July 1992

My dad has been been gone a couple years now, greatly missed, often remembered, sometimes wishing I knew more about the man, but there is no one left to tell, and I doubt anyone knew him well besides my mother anyway, and she is also gone and wouldn't tell me anything if she weren't. :) She never, ever criticized my father nor did she ever tell anything he didn't start first. Just the way they were. He left me his money, his property, even his 'looks.' I cannot look in the mirror and not see a part of him. Yet, he left me to be my own man. He advised and sometimes consented but he never demanded. I was, in many ways, a lucky son, except, as he often said, 'luck has not a damn thing to do with it.' :)

These days, I follow in my spiritual Father's footsteps or try to as best I can.. His steps are also wide and long and difficult to stay within, but not impossible.

Isaiah 64:8 "But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand."

To all the struggling dads out there, happy Father's Day.

What has God done for you lately?

2005-06-14T20:23:00.000-07:00

Someone asked a question on another blog about how God works in a Christian's life. He said he just didn't 'get it.' This was a reply from Charles, 'our' Charles, aka Charles the C, or Just Call Me Charles. Sometimes, that boy just gets it right. :) I don't think he will mind my printing it here...

"E..., it's difficult to explain to a nonbeliever. Let's say, for ease of conversation, that we have different mindsets. We believe that all is done through the Lord, that we really accomplish nothing on our 'own.' We don't think you do either. :) What have you accomplished in life without any help at all, not from mother, father, friend, government workers, someone? How do you know that person was not 'sent' by the Lord to help you? Maybe you have accomplished something worthwhile totally on your own. I'm not so sure I have.

Genesis 2:18 "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him."

See, from the very beginning, God realized man would not make it alone. That's why he gave us women. :) P... is a woman who's trying to help you. Straighten up!

My answer to your question is that God works in our lives through other people, the way he most always works. Oh, sometimes, he will toss a tornado or blow a tsunami or get our attention in some spectacular way but, usually, he just quietly does it through his children.

Read the Bible E... If you do long enough, the Holy Spirit will come by and visit and you will 'get it.'"

I couldn't say it better.

In five minutes or less...

2005-06-13T18:14:00.000-07:00

I feel a bit like Simon LeGree today as I punished the entire household for breaking the swimming pool rules. Swimming pools, especially residential pools, are very dangerous. Swimming pools are so dangerous in fact, that 300 children under age 5 die and 2,000 more children under age five visit hospital emergency rooms for submersion injuries every year!

Incidents involving children usually happen in familiar surroundings. Sixty-five percent of the incidents happened in a pool owned by the child's family and 33 percent of the incidents happened in a pool owned by friends or relatives.
Pool submersions involving children happen quickly. A child can drown in the time it takes to answer a phone. Seventy-seven percent of the victims had been missing from sight for 5 minutes or less.

Survival depends on rescuing the child quickly and restarting the breathing process, even while the child is still in the water. Seconds count in preventing death or brain damage.

Child drowning is a silent death. There's no splashing to alert anyone that the child is in trouble.

At the time of the incidents, most victims were being supervised by one or both parents. Forty-six percent of the victims were last seen in the house; 23 percent were last seen in the yard or on the porch or patio; and 31 percent were in or around the pool before the accident. In all, 69 percent of the children were not expected to be at or in the pool, yet they were found in the water.

We can never let our guard down, not for a minute. A child's life is just too precious. It's summer time.. be careful, be aware.

Happy Anniversary Lover

2005-06-10T22:33:00.000-07:00

--the Backstreet Boys did this one...

Although loneliness has always been a friend of mine
I'm leaving my life in your hands
People say I'm crazy and that I am blind
Risking it all in a glance
How you got me blind is still a mystery (ain't that the truth? :)
I can't get you out of my head
Don't care what is written in you history
As long as you're here with me

I don't care who you are
Where you're from
What you did
As long as you love me
Who you are
Where you're from
Don't care what you did
As long as you love me

Every little thing
That you have said and done
Feels like it's deep within me
Doesn't really matter
If you're on the run
It seems like we're meant to be

I've tried to hide it so that no one knows
But I guess it shows
When you look in to my eyes
What you did and where you're comin from
I don't care, as long as you love me, baby. (exactly... I love you)

The agony of regret...

2005-06-08T20:02:00.000-07:00

Regret is the sorrow or mourning over something that can NOT be repaired... too late to fix it, no way to mend it. What do you do with regret?

I counsel people all the time who say 'I wish,' 'I should have,' 'Why didn't I?' They made errors in judgement or errors in behavior that wounded another and they cannot make it 'right' again. Many of these were 'crimes' of passion. To hold someone's heart in your hands and then to betray that trust is a horrible thing, broken trust that often cannot be mended, depending on the extent of the betrayal. So what to do? Just forget and move on?

Not so easy to do if one has a conscience. There is, wrote Paul, a "worldly sorrow" that "brings death." A guilt that kills. A sorrow that's fatal. A venomous regret that's deadly. Some things cannot be forgotten. They must be dealt with.

To deal with regret, you need to to determine your guilt, where you went wrong. This is after you have determined there is nothing you can do to 'fix' things. After you determine the extent of your guilt, you need to repent. That means not just being sorry but changing your ways, with the help and grace of God.

Regardless of our pasts, we can again rejoice in God's grace but after repentence and whatever amends we can make. Of course, the best thing when possible is not to cause regret. Be honest in your dealings with others. Do not deceive, do not lie with a smile on your lips. Do not cheat your brother by robbing him of his money or his property or by breaking his heart. Hearts can be broken literally and figuratively. I will leave it to you to determine which hurts the most.

Are you suffering from regret? Choose today what you will do about it.

The moral of the story.....

2005-06-04T19:37:00.000-07:00

"A Mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and is wife opening a package. "What food might this contain?" He was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning. "There Is a mousetrap in the house!; there is a mousetrap in the house!" The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it." The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house." The pig sympathized but said, "I am so very sorry Mr. Mouse, But there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured that you are in my prayers." The mouse turned to the cow. She said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you. But it's no skin off my nose."

So the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone. That very night a sound was heard throughout the house like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey. The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness she did not see that it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife.

The farmer rushed her to the hospital and she returned home with a fever. Now everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient. But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig. The farmer's wife did not get well. She died; And so many people came for her funeral the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.

So next time you hear that someone is facing a problem and think that it doesn't concern you, remember that when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk." -- Author Unknown

**
A moral of another story: childlike can be cute sometimes; childish rarely is.

**
If I'm boring you, go here:

What song was top on your birthday?

Challenge Darth Vader..need Flash

**
This is a question we asked each other in morning devotions. What say ye?

Which quality best describes your life--exciting, organised, dull--and why?

Memorial Day

2005-06-01T16:56:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful weekend, just family time really, although we did go to one Memorial Day Service and to church. The lasagna was great and the rice pudding too, one of my favorites. The weather was perfect, the wife was attentive. :) The kids behaved and had fun. Thank God for His blessings. So many people we talked to planned to party and/or drink the weekend away, not the original plans for the special day, I'm sure. In honor of our service men and women, here is a poem I like and wish to offer...

Dirge for a Soldier
by George H. Boker

Close his eyes; his work is done!
What to him is friend or foeman,
Rise of moon, or set of sun,
Hand of man, or kiss of woman?
Lay him low, lay him low,
In the clover or the snow!
What cares he? he can not know:
Lay him low!

As man may, he fought his fight,
Proved his truth by his endeavor;
Let him sleep in solemn night,
Sleep forever and forever.
Lay him low, lay him low,
In the clover or the snow!
What cares he? he can not know:
Lay him low!

Fold him in his country's stars,
Roll the drum and fire the volley!
What to him are all our wars,
What but death bemocking folly?
Lay him low, lay him low,
In the clover or the snow!
What cares he? he can not know:
Lay him low!

Leave him to God's watching eye,
Trust him to the hand that made him.
Mortal love weeps idly by:
God alone has power to aid him,
Lay him low, lay him low,
In the clover or the snow!
What cares he? he can not know:
Lay him low!

Lying lips, loose tongues..

2005-05-26T21:58:00.000-07:00

This is just some of my thinking tonight on lies and liars who tell them. Who lies? We all do at one time or another, don't we, be it the wicked lie, the 'altruistic lie,' the 'spin,' the artful deception, or just plain cheating. If in no other way, we lie by omission. 1 John 2:4 says 'He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.' Who has kept all His commandments? Most of us don't even know all his commandments.

Probably where most lies are told are in relationships, especially in the beginning of a romantic relationship

From 'Who's Cheating Who' - Alan Jackson

Everywhere you look
You can write a book
On the trouble with a woman and a man
But you can not impose
You cant stick your nose
Into somethin that ya dont understand

Chorus
But still you wonder
Who's cheatin who
Whos bein true
And who dont even care anymore
It makes you wonder
Whos doin right with someone tonight
And whose car is parked next door

I thought I knew her well
I really couldnt tell
That she had another lover on her mind
You see, It felt so right
When she held me tight
How could I be so blind

A heart is on the line
Each and every time
Love is stolen in the shadows of the night
Though its wrong all along
It keeps goin on
As long as they keep it out of sight

Men will wear foot 'lifts' to look taller, spray on stuff to make it look as if they have more hair; women wear face 'enhancing' makeup, high heels, padded bras, all in the hopes of attracting him. :) Those are what I call the 'artful' lies. There is some scientific evidence that supports some forms of lying as socially 'inbred' and socially acceptable.

In Peterson’s Australian study, Deception in intimate relationships, it was found that couples closely involved tell predominantly insignificant lies to one another. It was also found that subjects, who reported telling such lies, did so as a means of conflict avoidance. Also, in DePaulo and Kashy’s study, Everyday lies in close and casual relationships, it is noted that we tell fewer lies to those we find closest to us and of those lies that are told, the majority of them are altruistic in nature rather than self-serving. Not only were fewer lies told, but subjects also felt more uncomfortable about the prospect of telling untruths to those with whom subjects were more intimate. In conclusion, in our relationships, we are more likely to tell altruistic, “white lies” to those closest to us rather than blatant lies with increased discomfort in the process, generally in an attempt to maintain satisfaction and harmony in the relationship.

Is a deception to hide the truth of our appearance a 'real' lie. Samuel Johnson said .. "A man would rather have a hundred lies told of him than one truth which he does not wish should be known." If it's painful to be seen as short or unattractive, is it a lie to try to hide it?

Some interesting studies have been done about lying, the frequency of lying, who lies, etc.

One good example was a study conducted in 2002 by psychologist Robert S. Feldman of the University of Massachusetts, Amherst. Feldman secretly videotaped students who were asked to talk with a stranger. He later had the students analyze their tapes and tally the number of lies they had told. A whopping 60 percent admitted to lying at least once during 10 minutes of conversation, and the group averaged 2.9 untruths in that time period. The transgressions ranged from intentional exaggeration to flat-out fibs. Interestingly, men and women lied with equal frequency; however, Feldman found that women were more likely to lie to make the stranger feel good, whereas men lied most often to make themselves look better. (why am I not surprised? :)

In another study a decade earlier by David Knox and Caroline Schacht, both now at East Carolina University, 92 percent of college students confessed that they had lied to a current or previous sexual partner, which left the husband-and-wife research team wondering whether the remaining 8 percent were lying. And whereas it has long been known that men are prone to lie about the number of their sexual conquests, recent research shows that women tend to underrepresent their degree of sexual experience. When asked to fill out questionnaires on personal sexual behavior and attitudes, women wired to a dummy polygraph machine reported having had twice as many lovers as those who were not, showing that the women who were not wired were less honest. It's all too ironic that the investigators had to deceive subjects to get them to tell the truth about their lies. To me, this is a frightening study since young people go out to find a mate or 'hook up' and one would hope not to be lied to, eh?

"You don't tell deliberate lies, but sometimes you have to be evasive." --Margaret Thatcher.

Why do we do it, why do we lie? Because it works.

As humans, we must fit into a close-knit social system to succeed, yet our primary aim is still to look out for ourselves above all others. Lying helps. And lying to ourselves helps us accept our fraudulent behavior.

Not only humans 'lie' to get ahead. The mirror orchid, for example, displays beautiful blue blossoms that are dead ringers for female wasps. The flower also manufactures a chemical cocktail that simulates the pheromones released by females to attract mates. These visual and olfactory cues keep hapless male wasps on the flower long enough to ensure that a hefty load of pollen is clinging to their bodies by the time they fly off to try their luck with another orchid in disguise.

The best deceivers continue to reap advantages denied to their more honest or less competent peers. Lying helps us facilitate social interactions, manipulate others and make friends.

The biggest lies ever told are those told to the self, unknowingly. Self-deception took root in the human mind as a tool for social manipulation. Self-deception helps us ensnare other people more effectively. It enables us to lie sincerely, to lie without knowing that we are lying. There is no longer any need to put on an act, to pretend that we are telling the truth. Indeed, a self-deceived person is actually telling the truth to the best of his or her knowledge, and believing one's own story makes it all the more persuasive.

Here are some of the greatest lies ever told.. have you told any of them?

Some of the biggest lies ever told...

The check is in the mail.
I'll respect you in the morning.
I'm from your government, and I am here to help you.
It's only a cold sore.
You get this one, I'll pay next time.
My wife doesn't understand me.
Trust me, I'll take care of everything.
Of course I love you.
I am getting a divorce.
Drinking? Why, no, Officer.
I never inhaled.
It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing.
I never watch television except for PBS.
..but we can still be good friends.
She means nothing to me.
Dont worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge is on "empty."
I gave at the office.
Don't worry, he's never bitten anyone.
I'll call you later.
We'll release the upgrade by the end of the year.
Read my lips: no new taxes
I've never done anything like this before
Now, I'm going to tell you the truth
It's supposed to make that noise.
I *love* your new (hat/haircut/dress/suit...)!
..then take a left. You can't miss it.
Yes, I did.
Don't worry, it's OK -- I'm sterile.

Some final words, not mine, to consider...

"The important thing is to stop lying to yourself. A man who lies to himself, and believes his own lies, becomes unable to recognize truth, either in himself or in anyone else, and he ends up losing respect for himself as well as for others. When he has no respect for anyone, he can no longer love and, in order to divert himself, having no love in him he yields to his impulses, indulges in the lowest forms of pleasure, and behaves in the end like an animal, in satisfying his vices. And it all comes from lying- lying to others and to yourself." --Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov.

"Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." - Aldous Huxley.

"The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else." --Author: George Bernard Shaw

Ephesians 4:25 "Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another."

Changing your 'want to'

2005-05-23T15:08:00.000-07:00

At a luncheon after a ministerial association meeting, my associates and I were having lunch and discussing the difficulties of living the Christian life, especially in an America that is turning anti-Christian. 'Can anyone really live a good Christian life,' one pastor asked? 'Absolutely,' I answered.

It may be difficult, at times, to be a good Christian, but it is not complicated, not at all. It is a matter of will, choice. You either serve God or you serve satan, and it's your choice.

Luke 16:13 "No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other...."

Not only is it your choice, it is your fault if you fail. It's not God's fault. He has given us all we need to succeed .. grace, love, His Word, the Holy Spirit and more.

The culprit, when we fail, is sin that we choose to do.... Simple. Sin. Catholic tradition identifies seven particularly troublesome classes of sins (the "seven deadly sins"): They are pride, covetousness, lust, envy, gluttony, anger, and sloth. While no one is safe from any of these, those that pose the greatest challenge to the disciplined Christian life are almost certainly pride and sloth, according to most preachers.. I think the two worst culprits are lustful thoughts aand difficult people, getting down to the nitty gritty. Here's an interesting take on 'sloth,' however.

Sloth is insidious. It whispers that you might as well do it tomorrow, that nobody will know if you cut corners here and there to save yourself some trouble, that the world will be the same in a hundred years no matter what you do, so why do anything? Sloth says, ‘Don’t strain yourself,’ ‘What’s the big hurry?’ and ‘Just give me five more minutes.’

Sloth hits the snooze alarm, hits the remote control and hits the road when the going gets tough . . . Sloth cheats on exams, drinks straight from the milk carton and leaves exactly two sheets on the toilet roll so that it will have to be replaced by the next poor soul who finds out too late that the remaining paper is nothing more than a mirage. -- Joseph Stowell, Today in the Word, July 1996, p. 2

Make no mistake about it, people like to sin, and they choose sin regularly over good living. Why is that? .. Human nature or as some call it, the 'sin nature.' It's also human nature to scratch an itch but people with self control do it in private, eh? It's human nature to pick the nose but, as Melina would say, 'ewwwww.' Socialized, self controlled people don't do it, at least not in public. Human nature can be thwarted when not in our best interests. Again, it's not complicated. Simple choosing. If not, why have a system of laws, checks and balances. We know we can be good when we want to. It's the 'want' or maybe better said the 'I don't want to" that's the problem.

How can we change our 'want to?' Sometimes we make things more complicated than they need be.

"Why do Baptists not have sex standing up? Because it might lead to dancing." Fortunately, this is a joke. However sometimes Christians actually have gotten carried away with rules. Rules of behavior have turned into an end in themselves.

Back to changing the 'want to.' Try a little self control. The Christian life doesn't happen by accident. It requires planning and a consistent approach. We must, although we find it difficult, face our faults and our weaknesses and plan accordingly. If you know that staying up surfing the net makes you too tired to do a good job the next morning, it's simple, don't do it. Self discipline is necessary for most successful living, including being a 'good' Christian.

There are a number of different approaches to discipline. Most of them are based on regular scheduling. Christians generally should set aside specific times each day for prayer and study, both individually and as a family. If you don't, your 'want to' will suffer. These times should include prayer. They should normally include some kind of study or opportunity for growth.

And Christians need to associate with each other, for there IS strength in numbers, and the Lord said He would be with us where two or more gathered in His name. Yes, I'm talking about church. Those who say they don't need to be in 'church' (where two or more are gathered in His name) are foolish and lying to themselves and others. You do need to be there, to worship and to be guided, fed, led and encouraged. You don't get all those things gazing at the stars in a forest.. or as Wesley asked, in a zoo. :) You need to be with other Christians and worship the Lord, not the stars, the universe, rocks or flowers or grass. The Bible gives good examples of worship which are studying together, singing together, praying together, etc. Notice the 'together.'

Finally, Christians are to be committed to serving others. Jesus indicated that the primary way of judging someone's spiritual state was by looking at what they did for Him and for others. And I can assure you, if you're busy serving others, being a responsible person, taking care of business and obligations, praying, having devotions, studying, you will find it much easier to control your 'want to,' that is, if you really want to.

I Was Afraid You’d Tell Me Not To Do It

A school teacher lost her life savings in a business scheme that had been elaborately explained by a swindler. When her investment disappeared and her dream was shattered, she went to the Better Business Bureau. “Why on earth didn’t you come to us first?” the official asked. “Didn’t you know about the Better Business Bureau?” “Oh, yes,” said the lady sadly. “I’ve always known about you. But I didn’t come because I was afraid you’d tell me not to do it.”

The silliness and dangerousness of human nature are that even though we know where the answers lie .. in God’s Word .. we don’t turn there for fear of what it will say. That's the same reason we don't change our 'want to,' we're afraid to for we won't have the fun of sin, eh?

Victory over addiction..

2005-05-20T21:07:00.000-07:00

I have not used this aid but find the article most interesting and might consider it for some patients/clients.

Firm Launches Hi-Tech Aid for Addiction, Behavioral Problems

By Jody Brown
May 20, 2005

(AgapePress) - Jjay* was headed to mete out revenge for the murder of his friend. Then his cell phone beeped. Of all people, it was his mother, telling him how proud she was that he was trying to get his life back on track. Instead of seeking revenge, the parolee with a long history of gang violence sought out professional help to work through his anger.

Sound improbable? Not according to the Utah-based high-tech firm developing VictorySeeker™, a new technology designed to provide daily support -- via cell phones -- for people who are trying to make long-term changes in their lives. "It's a huge boost to someone trying to overcome patterns of self-destructive behavior," says Bruce Bennett, president of STAR (Synthesis Technology Assessment Research).

It's a simple concept that uses advanced technology to overcome age-old weaknesses. How does it work? Those seeking to prevail over those weaknesses through VictorySeeker set a long-term goal with daily tasks and then identify times during the day when they believe help is most needed -- such as when they're alone. The participants agree to carry a cell phone, knowing full well they are expected to answer when the calls come.

VictorySeeker then calls at those critical times, asking questions about progress toward the goal since the last call and gathering data for analysis by professional caregivers. Participants answer questions by pressing a number on the phone's keypad. Using advanced technology, VictorySeeker places the answer in the context of previous answers, determines the participant's direction toward the goal, and then plays an appropriate message recorded earlier by family and friends.

In Jjay's case, the pre-recorded message from his mother did the trick.

Counselors See Benefits
STAR's Bennett says numerous counselors are now using VictorySeeker to help people overcome addictions to such things as drugs, pornography, and overeating; to deal with behavioral issues such as anger and violence; or simply to establish a positive lifestyle.

One of those counselors is Robert Heaton, who works with pornography addicts. According to Heaton, one of his clients found that VictorySeeker provides him with "a great deal of motivation to excel" and that it helps him maintain the "positive routine" that he desires.

The counselor says he sees tremendous benefit to both client and caregiver. "VictorySeeker helps people heal faster and cuts therapy time," Heaton says.

One of the ways VictorySeeker assists counselors is by providing a track record of responses from users like Jjay. Counselors can easily access confidential reports online, view their clients' progress, and even listen to voice messages left by their clients. That information, says Bennett, helps to identify behavior patterns and can even alert the counselor if there is a good chance for relapse.

In addition, personal accountability plays a major role in the effectiveness of VictorySeeker. Says one counselor: "Just consistent, daily calls to remind my ... clients of the things they need to do ... can be very helpful to sustain emotional and physical health." And one participant says the program "...helps me to stop each day and ask myself ... what I have actually done today to reach the goals I know I want to achieve."

"It's very exciting to see VictorySeeker make a difference for people [who are] trying to make their lives better," the STAR president says. STAR applied for a patent on VictorySeeker in September 2004.

I do too have a sense of humor...

2005-05-18T18:26:00.000-07:00

This post is for 15 year old Robert who reads my blog. He's in my Sunday School class. He thinks I'm way too serious on my blog and have no appreciable sense of humor.. his word appreciable.

A good preacher can always get God into the story somehow...

The story is told of the atheist who accosted a preacher. "Do you believe in eternal life?"

The preacher has no time to reply.

"Well its a load of rubbish!" shouted the Atheist. "I believe in science, evolution, survival of the fittest, and when we die, that's it! No eternal life, no great judgement, and no God!"

The Atheist continues his assault against the preacher repetitiously and tirelessly. "Eternal life! Eternal life! Ha! Its all pie in the sky when you die. When I die that's it, the end, no eternal life, no nothing". He continues, until he reaches his climax, "I will be buried six feet under when I die and that's it! Nothing! Caput! When I die I am utterly convinced that that will be the end of me!"

"Well thank God for that" replies the preacher!

***

Senator Joe Lieberman told this story... There was a preacher who was in the middle of an intense, rousing, heart-piercing sermon, when in the middle of the room a gentleman gets up and starts walking toward the back door. “Excuse me, sir,” said the preacher, “but why are you leaving?” “I need to get a haircut,” was the reply. “You need to get a haircut?” said the preacher. “Well why didn't you leave at the beginning of the sermon?” “I didn't need one then,” he said.

**

The Devil's Beatitudes

Blessed are those who are too tired, busy or disorganized to meet with fellow Christians on Sundays each week. They are my best workers.

Blessed are those who enjoy noticing the mannerisms of clergy (ministers, pastors, deacons) and the choir. Their hearts are not in it. (get it? :)

Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked. I can use them.

Blessed are the touchy. With a bit of luck they may even stop going to church. They are my missionaries.

Blessed are those who claim to know God at the same time as hating other people. They are mine forever.

Blessed are the troublemakers. They shall be called my children.

Blessed are those who have not time to pray. They are prey to me.

Blessed are you when you read this and think it is about other people and not about yourself. Gotcha!

No Excuse Sunday

To make it possible for everyone to attend church this Sunday, we are going to have a special "No Excuse Sunday":

Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to sleep in."

There will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who feel that our pews are too hard.

Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching TV late Saturday night.

We will have steel helmets for those who say, "The roof would cave in if I ever came to church."

Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold, and fans for those who say it is too hot.

Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites present. lol

Relatives and friends will be in attendance for those who can't go to church and cook dinner, too.

We will distribute "Stamp Out Stewardship" buttons for those that feel the church is always asking for money.

One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to seek God in nature. lol There go the wiccans and don't knows.

Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday.

The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for those who never have seen the church without them.

**

God gave us noses, to keep us humble,
not to stick in the air, or poke into trouble;
Placed over the mouth to drip and run,
to remind us we're nothin, and He's #1!

Negotiator or Intimidator?

2005-05-16T06:50:00.000-07:00

Do you think the American Army cannot be beaten, that we cannot lose a war, even the war on terror? I hate to break the bad news, but any army can be beaten. Why? Because of 'chance' and/or 'providence.' Just as our 'shock and awe' did not finalize things in Iraq, you cannot know in advance so many important things, things such as strategy, trickery, luck, unexpected surprises. For instance, 3/4ths of our debt is owned by China. What happens when they call in their markers? Can we finance a war if we are broke, and would we go to war with China over that, knowing they have millions of bodies to throw at us as they did in Korea, and they got nukes too, you know, to which can be added the nukes of their buddy, N. Korea. God help us all when we go out playing war as though we are invincible. We are not invincible and never shall be. Even if we had the perfect 'Star Wars' protective system, it could be destroyed from within if the right people were lured by our enemies.

This is one of the reasons I do not approve of Bolton for U.N. ambassador. We need a man who can negotiate, not intimidate. Intimidation has it's place, but the U. N. is not it. I still believe war should be the last resort, and I do not agree that Iraq was at the last resort stage although I support our troops and a war already enjoined. We need someone to tread the wicked waters so that we do not have to go to war. We didn't have to go to war in Iraq, that was a war of choice. Someday, we might not have a choice and a good man (or woman) at the U. N. just might hold that event at bay.

One can think of many so-called 'invincible' armies... Napoleon's, Roman before the 'fall,' Hitler's, the Spanish armada, many more, and let's not forget the Battle of Jericho. :) I would rather look to an invincible peace process myself, and I, like so many of you, have children I don't want to be fodder for future war machines.

That unreasonable fear...

2005-05-11T16:01:00.000-07:00

"What are fears but voices airy?
Whispering harm where harm is not.
And deluding the unwary
Till the fatal bolt is shot!"
---- Wordsworth

We all have fear(s) from time to time, completely normal. What is not normal is 'unreasonable' fear. As in the above quote, 'whispering harm where harm is not.'

In my practice, I would estimate that we deal with fear of some kind in 90% of the sessions, maybe more. A man fears competition, fears losing his job. A woman fears her husband is cheating on her, will leave her. Another fears getting fat so much that she is destroying her health by binging/purging. Let's see.. what else. Fear of public speaking, of step children, of in laws, of storms, spiders, rats, bugs and other critters, of the law, of IRS, of alcohol, of drugs; fear of bodily harm from a boyfriend, a parent, a spouse, a stranger; fear of doomsday scenarios, i.e., asteroids, floods, tornados, hurricanes, tsunamis, viruses, cloned monsters, genetic engineering gone amuk; fear of hell, other Christians, Muslims, satanism, demons, powers that be, witches, warlocks; fear of spells, curses, jinxes, bad karma, fate, zombies, werewolves, vampires and other creatures of the night. I kid you not. I have discussed all these with my patients (and some of my friends) and more.

So, the first thing is to separate the reasonable fear from the unreasonable fear. Let's take Caro's fear while I was gone this past weekend. Now I admit I enjoy being missed for I take my role as protector very seriously, and I just like to know she's thinking of me when I'm gone. Still, a small part of her fear was unreasonable. While there certainly is crime in Boulder, CO, really not much more than in Des Moines, IA and she doesn't get panicky when I go to work. And, frankly, I've never heard of a minister getting killed at a gospel concert, but it could have happened. :) If I were the Elmer Gantry type and visited 'night spots' after hours, I guess I could have been mugged and killed. I'm not the type. I was no more likely to have a driving accident than usual. In effect, she shouldn't have worried much more while I was in Boulder than she does when I'm home. As she said, it might have been that she was worried that something would happen to me and she would not be there.. a whole 'nother' problem, eh? Separation anxiety which is not unreasonable fear at all, but for another post. It does make me think of this quote by Bardot: "Solitude scares me. It makes me think about love, death, and war. I need distraction from anxious, black thoughts." Perhaps Caro doesn't have enough distractions when Johnny is gone. :)

What does unreasonable fear, especially carried as a load never laid down, do to one?

If a man harbors any sort of fear, it percolates through all his thinking, damages his personality, makes him landlord to a ghost. -- Lloyd Cassel Douglas

Exactly, a ghost of the self. One cannot be open, free, joyous when fearful 24/7. Just can't be done. Fear, along with some other intense emotions, takes up all expendable energy. Unchecked, it wreaks havoc on the body.. blood pressure, sleep habits, and more. Over time, it breaks the body down literally. One cannot be on a fear/adrenaline high 24/7 and be healthy. We must come down to rest. Very fearful people don't rest well either.

"Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake."
---- Edgar Wallace - The Clue of the Twisted Candle (1916)

"Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is."
---- German Proverb

So what do we do about unreasonable fear? You look it in the face. You declare to 'it' and to yourself that it will not control your life. You change your patterns if you can, seek professional help if you cannot. Your life depends upon it. Prayer is very good. Support from others who have 'beat' the monkey is good too.

"What do you fear, Lady?"
"A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire." ~Aragorn & Eowyn

It is a jungle out there, but we do not have to live in a cage. No, there is a way out. All you have to do is whittle away at it. If you have faith, you're ahead of the game for you can ask God for help.

2Tim 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

Don't worry; be happy...

2005-05-09T14:48:00.000-07:00

Remember the tune, 'Don't Worry, be Happy?' I really like that song. That's also my 'philosophy' in life. Apparently it is a good philosophy if you want to keep your wits about you in old age.

Pessimistic, anxious and depressed people may have a higher risk of dementia, U.S. researchers reported on Thursday. A study of a group of 3,500 people showed that those who scored high for pessimism on a standardized personality test had a 30 percent increased risk of developing dementia 30 to 40 years later.

Those scoring very high on both anxiety and pessimism scales had a 40 percent higher risk, the study showed.

So, try to look for the silver lining. :) Better yet, trust in the Lord. True Christians can't stay in the pits for long for this is the day that the Lord has made, and we should rejoice in it!

Learn to be brave...

2005-05-05T12:01:00.000-07:00

I don't usually like to 'generalize' about the differences between men and women, but I will go out on a limb and say I find that women put a lot of mental energy into hiding their real feelings. They spend their lives pleasing others or trying to and seeking approval of everyone but themselves.

The problem often is they say 'yes' when they mean 'no' or should mean 'no.' The bottom line is that they just won't let themselves feel angry and say what is really on their minds, because they fear losing the love of others.

There is a 'trick' to speaking your mind, showing your anger. You're not really 'grown up' until you learn it. You have to learn to 'manage' yourself, that is react appropriately to anger. It is not appropriate to seal feelings in until they explode one day, all out of proportion to what caused the anger. This just confuses everyone. Always 'giving in' is not the answer. The 'trick' is setting limits. We need to forget whatever we learned from hard-to-please parents or mistakes of the past. Think 'it's a new day' and act accordingly. If you fight, when you fight, fight 'fair.' It's not fair to bring up the past, present and future with no goal in mind. That's venting which may feel good but usually solves nothing. You need to know why you are angry, know what you want to do about it and have a plan to do so. That's the 'adult' way.

A good place to start is to think of anger as a constructive emotion. If your feelings are hurt, do something about it. Some other things to think about...

How long have you been so angry? Is it really 'this' or is this just the tip of the iceberg? Are you really angry because your husband didn't notice your new dress or are you angry because he hasn't noticed anything you've done in ten years? But could it be that nothing he says is ever enough because you don't know how to be content in your own skin? You need to figure out what the problem really is before you can begin to solve it, right?

After you figure out what's really going on, can you learn to be brave enough to handle it?? Are you too easily intimidated? If so, write down your feelings instead of trying to talk about them face to face, at least while you are beginning to set new limits. Don't blame others and don't make 'blaming' statements. Don't always try to figure out who is 'right' and who is 'wrong?' Does it really matter when life is not like you want it to be? I will admit that I am pretty good at intimidation. I learned quite early in life that some people will back down pretty easily. The trick in dealing with intimidating people is to determine if it's all an 'act' because they have your number or if they really mean the dire things they suggest while trying to control you. It's important to know because you will have to face the consequences of 'confronting' them.

The best way to fix things is to really listen to the other party. Most people just want to be heard as it 'validates' their feelings. Allow your partner to express his/her feelings too. It's better when neither has hidden feelings.. or hidden agendas. Be willing to take responsibility for your part in creating problems but do NOT take all the responsibility.

Finally, after you figure out what is wrong, what you want to change, you need to tell the other person, ‘this is what I need from you now to make things better.’ Until you get brave enough to do that, it just won't get any better. Be prepared to take the consequences. Maybe he really will leave you? If so, maybe you'd be better off. Maybe she will stop loving you. Maybe she didn't love you to begin with? It's tough being brave, but it's awful being a coward. Shaking and shivering in your boots will never make you happy. Step up and step out. You might be surprised at how much it helps. And it's the 'honest' way to live with others.

He needs your prayers...

2005-05-03T23:06:00.000-07:00

Peter Jennings has lung cancer and is undergoing chemotherapy. His prognosis is not that good. I remember when I was diagnosed with Hodgkins, when I had radiation and chemotherapy. It is one of the most lonely experiences one can have, and the uncertainty of it all is the worst part, the 'not knowing.' Here's some of Jennings' comments to some of his 'fans.'

"Yesterday I decided to go to the office," Jennings wrote. "I live only a few blocks away. I got as far as the bedroom door. Chemo strikes.

"Do I detect a knowing but sympathetic smile on many of your faces? You knew this was coming."

He said Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter, who has undergone chemotherapy for Hodgkin's disease, wrote a note saying the only way to get through therapy is to work your way through it.

"He's a tougher man than I am," he said.

Mr. Jennings could use our support and prayers.

The starting point..

2005-05-01T03:22:00.000-07:00

When I get a new patient, right away I need to know a couple things, need to know the 'starting point.' First, I need to know, in medical terms, the 'chief complaint,' that is, of all the things that are hurting, what is hurting most? It isn't always the obvious. One of my patients has leukemia, and her days are 'numbered,' so to speak. One would think that would be her chief complaint, but it isn't. Her chief complaint is that her son-in-law bugs the hell out of her. The other thing I need to know is 'why now?' Why come in for therapy now vs. last week, last month, last year? This is called, by psychologists, the 'precipitating event.' That is not as easy to determine as you may think.

For example, I told you recently and briefly how I made a decision to serve the Lord. Someone gave me a 'flyer,' telling me about a revival. I attended, the Lord found me and the rest is history. But what was the precipitating event? Was I just tired of a directionless life, i.e., playing love songs at a bar every night while I drank beer and got drunk, all for a few dollars? Was it the dedication and obedience of the people who took the flyers from door to door on that hot, humid Saturday? After all, what did the son of atheists know about a baptist church revival, and why did he choose to go? Or did God have a plan for Johnny and chose that moment to put it into action, i.e., divine intervention? Why then, vs. the week before, the year before? I'm still not sure of the 'precipitating event' but suspect divine intervention.

Why is it important to know? Because there needs to be a starting point. How do I know if therapy is progressing, if the patient is better or worse, etc. if there is no starting point to which to refer? It wouldn't be too good to look back at my records, if it went to court for example, and not find a starting point reference, would it?

There are starting points in life, one for each event. Something happens and something causes it to happen when it does. If you can figure out your starting points, your 'battle' has begun each time and can be tackled more effectively.

Looking back over your life, have you had some important starting points? What were the precipitating events? Have you ever had what you thought was divine intervention? I can think of several more important starting points in my life time, my decision to adopt Melina for one.

Life is not a 'haphazard process.' There is a plan, and there is a starting point. God's creation was not a haphazard process. Reminds me of saying by a philosopher who didn't believe in God but talked about one of his miracles. Nietchze said, in effect, 'out of chaos comes a dancing star.' Out of the chaotic void, God created life, us. That was the starting point. What was the precipitating event?

Wounded spirits

2005-04-29T14:58:00.000-07:00

Jeremiah said "My heart is broken within me." He was a wounded spirit at the time. I spend most of my professional life and quite a bit of my 'online life' dealing with wounded spirits. I saw a nice lady today who had been burned severely while an infant by a mother who did not want her. She still bears some physical scars and many emotional scars. My heart goes out to her ... literally.

If you're one of those who want to tell all these people 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps,' you won't want to continue reading. That is fine advice to those who have boots. The wounded spirit usually doesn't and can barely walk from day to day after years of crippling torment.

My firm conviction is that a wound to the spirit can be deadly, but it is 'treatable,' by man and by God. I cannot fathom going through life as a wounded spirit. I cannot imagine being so desperately hurt and afraid that there is nowhere to turn, no way out from the pain, the lonliness, the haunting thought of life being full of suffering forever. That's how many wounded spirits experience life. They see no end to the suffering and, indeed, for many there is no end to the suffering. These are the teased, the tormented, the abused. These are the crippled, the sickly. These are the ones who have nowhere to turn, no one to listen, no one to understand. They've been picked on and pushed aside, abandoned and forgotten, left to die or left to live wishing they were dead. In silence they suffer, and suffer and suffer. Reminds me of the old pop song... 'I've been cheated, been mistreated.... when will I be loved?'

Do we as Christians or even just good-intentioned people owe something to these people? Are we or are we not our brother's keeper? How much would it cost you to spare a few minutes a day writing someone like that or calling them on the phone. Would it hurt to be perhaps bored or tired of it or even not totally understanding but offering help anyway? If we don't do it, who will? Are they not deserving of some attention, even love? I think so. Doesn't God call the strong people (who might perhaps be the ones being mean at some point) to be the protector of the less strong?

My friend, Iva, allows me to use her life story in my sermons and writings. She has had an amazing life and, in my opinion, is the result of healing of God through people and literature. She is truly a miracle. Think about this though. In a house about the size of four rooms were two grandparents (he was the abuser), nine adult children and many many of their offspring, coming into and out of that house daily. I firmly believe someone knew what was going on. They either didn't give a damn or didn't want to get 'involved.' Maybe they didn't want to be the one getting Pappaw in trouble? But what of the betrayal and abandonment of Iva? Shame on them. What must Iva have felt like when summoned to the room where he torturned her, week after week? After a while, she ceased to say 'no,' ceased to 'beg,' ceased to even look at him. Why? Because.. what good did it do? No one heard who cared. Even then, she began to 'defend' the inner Iva, the one who would need to survive. 'The tough get going, eh?' What went through her mind when she had to do something with the bloody or torn clothes or be discovered? Remember... four years old. Did she think she was dying the first time it hurt so badly, and she saw blood? No one to turn to.. that's all I can think of when I think of it. I would absolutely die if I thought my kids had to endure anything close to that. Oh, my God. I believe Iva's ordeal was a conspiracy of sorts. Maybe Mammaw was tired of the marrige bed after nine kids and multiple cheating and betrayals and just was glad it wasn't her anymore. Maybe another child or cousin or grandchild had been 'done' and was glad their time was over for he lost interest when the child began to 'develop.' Whatever, no four year old, not even one as smart as Iva, could hide ten years worth of daily trysts in a house with that much traffice. I'm convinced of this. These people bear part of the guilt. Shame on them.

Ultimately, healing can only come through Jesus Christ - through Him, we can break this cycle of victimization and abuse. But, surprise, surpise, Jesus uses his children to help his children. We are his agents in healing, are we not? I cannot turn my back on them. No matter how tired I am or how long my day is, when one of them approaches me, I stop what I am doing, and I give my full attention. To do less is an insult. They know when they are being treated as an object of pity rather than a person who is cared for, approved of. And I follow up and stay involved. If they insult me, accuse me of not understanding, etc., I figure maybe I don't and should try harder.

Do you know any wounded spirits? If so, are you helping them, even in the smallest way? If not, I implore you to care and take a chance. It is rewarding... it may take years, but I promise you it is. If you know some, and you refuse to help, shame on you. I know you have so many hours of the day... prioritize. Surely they are more important than chatting online, or an old movie after the kids are in bed, etc.

Ac 26:22 Having therefore obtained help of God, I continue unto this day, witnessing both to small and great, saying none other things than those which the prophets and Moses did say should come."

You will not be sorry. Mt 10:42 And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water only in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward."

If you happen to be one of those doing the wounding, get help.. now. There is no excuse for your behavior, none.

Assertiveness

2005-04-27T17:27:00.000-07:00

I received several emails regarding the 'joy stealers' post, asking about assertiveness. The test you will find at this addy is a pretty good indicator of where you stand. You tell me yours, and I'll tell you mine. :)

Click here for Test

Are you a human doormat? Do you say "yes" when you mean "no"? Do you keep your opinions to yourself for fear of upsetting or confronting others? Find out if you stand up for yourself as much as you should with the Assertiveness Test.

Assertiveness is the ability to formulate and communicate one's own thoughts, opinions and wishes in a clear, direct, and non-aggressive way. This test determines whether a lack of assertiveness or weak communication skills may be keeping you from fulfilling your potential and reaching your goals.

Joy Stealers

2005-04-24T15:57:00.000-07:00

My wife, bless her heart, has very tender feelings. She cares what people think, and I'm glad of this for one who does not care is a cold fish indeed. Sometimes, though, people hurt her feelings intentionally, and she suffers, and we have been discussing ways for her to deal with these folks. I call them 'joy stealers.' Have you ever had a wonderful day or something great happened and someone came along and rained on your parade, just for the hell of it? Sure you have. You met a joy stealer.

Oliver Wendall Holmes, Jr. was a U.S. Supreme Court justice for 30 years. Because of his mind, wit and work, he was tagged with the unofficial title of "the greatest justice since John Marshall." At one point in his life, Justice Holmes was asked concerning how he came about his choice of a career, to which he replied:

"Well, I might have entered the ministry - if certain clergymen I knew had not looked and acted so much like undertakers!"

Apparently he met some joy-stealing preachers. :)

Some people or things that will steal the joy right out of you are:

1) People! .. particularly jealous, mean-spirited, vindictive or just plain mean people. They are the easiest to defeat. If you cannot persuade them, after reasonable efforts to be more kindly, ignore them, run from them but pray for them. Do NOT stick around for their abuse. If you are not the assertive type, you may not be able to do 'tit for tat' and that's not always good anyway although I find it most difficult to refrain myself.

2) Legalism. I'm not talking just about religious legalism but anything or anyone that emphasizes and stresses ritual and form over spirituality and substance, cares more for things or even laws than God's children, people.

3) Having an unhealthy attachment to our past. If you're tied up with the 'bad old days' or even the 'good old days,' you are not using the present as you should and perhaps not planning your future well either. Some have had horrific pasts, abuse and accidents and illnesses, things that no one should have to suffer. Yet, we must let go to have a healthy life or deal with it constructively and sanely. My friend, Iva, had the more abusive childhood of anyone I ever met, and I've counseled many people. One of the things she does so well is write stories about it which puts it into perspective and allows emotional outlet of grief and sadness without poisoning her current life. She can tell a horrific tale because she lived it, but she is full of joy, fun and laughter in person, a delight to know.

What in your past do you need God to help you “burn and bury” so that it can be behind you, done with and settled in heaven and on earth, so you can experience joy today? Do you need to discuss it or pray with someone about it? If so, email me.

4) Self absorption. It puts us on the wrong side of the cross. It is not easy to have a Christ centered life, but it should be one of our main goals.

5) Unresolved interpersonal conflicts. Spouses, families, church bodies.. we all should get along (or get out, if we can't get along). When we don't, we allow our own joy to be depleted and certainly we may steal joy from others.

Disagreements and contention, hurts from ones we love, disappointments and broken promises, outright attacks, neglect, abuse, and unforgiveness (on your part and theirs)... these things cannot be allowed to 'fester.' If they do, the joy will be sucked out of you like air from a baloon, and you might then suck the joy out of the lives of those around you.

Blessings! Jude 1:24 "Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy..."

False praise?

2005-04-21T20:38:00.000-07:00

I thought this was an excellent article:

When Yelling is Worse than Spanking

Looking back over your own childhood, which hurt worse, any spanking you ever received or words spoken in anger. Were you ever told 'you're stupid' or worse?

Either way, it seems the 'self esteem' issue has received too much attention. For almost an entire generation, the concept of self esteem has been tortured into an ideology so steeped in political correctness as to drive people with common sense mad. Now, however, the pendulum may be swinging back the other way.

An article in Usa today (February 15, 2005) focused on the growing concern of more and more parents, psychologists, and educators who believe the self-esteem message needs to be balanced with a generous dose of reality. USA Today writer Sharon Jayson said no one is discounting the fact that a healthy self-esteem is beneficial to children. But Jayson said more adults are realizing that "empty praise -- the kind showered on many kids years ago in the name of self-esteem --
did more harm than good." Years of such "empty praise," she said, often result in young adults who cannot cope even with constructive criticism, have an inflated sense of self-importance, and have a great sense of personal entitlement -- often without having paid their dues.

Children know when praise is earned and when it is not; they know if they've delivered the goods or not. I believe any praise (or criticism) should be true and relevant to behavior. Else, we appear dishonest in the eyes of our children. And we then teach our children to be glib and false flatterers when they grow up, don't you think?

Lost but not forgotten...

2005-04-18T01:45:00.000-07:00

My original 'template' was swallowed up by the great blog eater in the sky I guess. It is gone and so are my links, my visitor count and some other information. I have managed to restore my posts. Until I can remember all the links, be patient. I will put you back on soon, if you were on my blog and now 'gone' with the blog eater. :)

Blessings!

What are you living for?

2005-04-17T19:12:00.000-07:00

Do you ever stop to think about what you're living for? If you looked back over your life, have you made a difference? Does it matter to you? It matters to me. I want to leave something behind besides money when I die.

I want to be remembered for certain things, and I try to live accordingly. When I am gone, I want my children to remember our prayers together, the teaching of God's Word, kindness and respect for each other and our 'neighbors.' I am the leader, the 'boss' so to speak, in my home but my children have seen me on my knees asking God for guidance. They have seen me on my knees many times in prayer. Sometimes they join me. I hope I have taught them to trust the living God for what they need. If so, they will never be alone even if I have to go before 'my time.'

I want my wife to know I am not some arrogant bully but someone who cares for her deeply and who prays for her and for 'us' every day of my life. I hope she realizes the depth of my love for her.

I want my church to remember me as a worker, one who was not stingy with his time or his money when it comes to things of the Kingdom. I want my friends to remember me as honest and worthy of trust and someone with a sense of humor, who was understanding. That's a lot of things to want, and it's not easy trying to live up to the life God wants me to lead. He has a plan for each of us, and each of us has something different, unique, to offer Him. It's a blessed thing to be used of the Lord. What we do for Him will live on after us; love that keeps on giving, for we cannot measure the influence we have upon others, especially our children.

Our lives are not our own, you know. We were created for good works to glorify God.

Eph 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.

Jas 3:13 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.

1Pe 2:12 Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.

When all is said and done, isn't it true that only what was done for God is lasting? Good looks, charm, intelligence, money, fame, fortune all go to the grave. What is resurrected is the living soul that belongs to God, and He will be talking to us about how we used the life he gave us on this earth.

A frog is a frog...

2005-04-15T23:42:00.000-07:00

One of my blog guests asked, relating to my post on the new pagan 'religion,' if I thought it was better to believe in that religion than nothing. This is my opinion.

"Iva , yes I do consider it worse than no religion at all for it masks the truth, gives the 'beleiver' a false sense of security. If one sincerely worships a frog, their god is still a frog at the end of the day. It is important WHO we serve, as much or more as how we serve. He does have a name, our God. He is not some faceless, unknown-ness made up by immature post-druggie adherents to know nothingness whom they look to when they have bad nightmares and need to call on a daddy. He has a name and has a plan for each of us and expects us to worship and serve Him. He also has a church and instructions on how to live. We just don't get to make it up in our imagination.

Even more dangerous to a greater number of people, each of these misguided 'believers' (may not be so benevolent as some do this on purpose - mislead others) passes on their 'version' of god to their friends, families, especially their children. Like the ripples from the stone thrown on the pond, where does it end and how many are lost because of the false teaching? There's an American sect based upon false teachings that now has millions of converts, here and abroad. Now, one generation carries the tales to another, and it believed as truth to many. Real Christians sit by and allow it under the guise of 'live and let live' or political correctness. Help us Lord Jesus.

Moralistic Therapeutic Deism

2005-04-14T09:45:00.000-07:00

There's a new religion on the horizon... a new pagan religion... moralistic therapeutic deism. It is a belief of the immature (many American teenagers ascribe to something like it) that goes as follows:

1. "A god exists who created and ordered the world and watches over human life on earth." 2. "God wants people to be good, nice, and fair to each other, as taught in the Bible and by most world religions." 3. "The central goal of life is to be happy and to feel good about oneself." 4. "God does not need to be particularly involved in one's life except when God is needed to resolve a problem." 5. "Good people go to heaven when they die."

It, in effect, makes God the servant of the believer. If you're not happy, you call God up and order a fix. Otherwise, you don't need him. And you certainly don't have to worship or serve him, how convenient. No church service, no tithe, no call to serve, nothing, just keep him around in case you don't feel good some day. It makes God into a cosmic therapist for the dissatisfied.

According to 'Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Eyes of American Teenagers' by Christian Smith with Melinda Lundquist, most followers of the 'new' religion eiither do not really comprehend what their own religious traditions say they are supposed to believe, or they do understand it and simply do not care to believe it.

These people have a vast emptiness in their understanding. They just can't quite get it together about 'God and stuff.'

Moralistic Therapeutic Deism is also "about providing therapeutic benefits to its adherents." As the researchers explained, "This is not a religion of repentance from sin, of keeping the Sabbath, of living as a servant of sovereign divinity, of steadfastly saying one's prayers, of faithfully observing high holy days, of building character through suffering, of basking in God's love and grace, of spending oneself in gratitude and love for the cause of social justice, et cetera. Rather, it is centrally about feeling good, happy, secure, at peace. It is about attaining subjective well-being, being able to resolve problems, and getting along amiably with other people." In other words, it's a self-serving, not God-serving 'religion.'

Obviously, Moralistic Therapeutic Deism is not an organized faith. This belief system has no denominational headquarters and no mailing address. Nevertheless, it has millions and millions of devotees across the United States and other advanced cultures, where subtle cultural shifts have produced a context in which belief in such an undemanding deity makes sense. Furthermore, this deity does not challenge the most basic self-centered assumptions of our postmodern age. Particularly when it comes to so-called "lifestyle" issues, this God is exceedingly tolerant and this religion is radically undemanding. Just the thing for those who are self centered and interested in nothing much but their own satisfaction in things.

This 'religion' replaces the sovereignty of God with the sovereignty of the self. Human problems are reduced to pathologies in need of a treatment plan. Sin is simply excluded from the picture, and doctrines as central as the wrath and justice of God are discarded as out of step with the times. There will be a rude awakening for these folks on judgement day! And for us, who failed to teach biblical Christianity in our churches, watered down the gospel, feared saying it 'like it is,' and not doing our jobs in spreading the real gospel.

Misery loves company?

2005-04-12T14:19:00.000-07:00

It's true, some people are addicted to misery.

One of my patients joined Weight Watchers and lost 98 lbs. She looks fantastic, and this was quite an accomplishment. She should be very proud of herself. Instead, she complains that her body parts are not right now, 'ruined' she says. I suggest if she is unhappy still to get a tummy tuck or whatever it takes. 'Too expensive' she says and 'nothing will restore me to what I used to be' (a teenager?). She figures she might as well eat what she wants for she can't have the perfection she wants. This woman is sabotaging herself. She can't accept happiness and apparently wants to return to her former miserable state when she literally was hating herself to death.

There are signs of being addicted to misery or being one who sabotages one's self. Do you see yourself in any of these behaviors?

Do you ever know you should start on a project but don't?
Do you have projects that you have started but never finished?
Do you ever say the one wrong thing at the wrong time?
Have you ever had things going well in life only to have everything blow up in a day?
Have you tried to be so careful not to make a mistake that you were shocked when you made a truly costly one?
Have you ever promised yourself to stay out of trouble in some way only to find yourself in the same trouble or worse again?
Have you ever gone to a matchmaking service to find a relationship but lied about yourself.. your looks, age or abilities?
Do you get online and act in a totally different way than you really are, a 'fake' personna?

Are you 'guilty' of...
taking on too much
finding it hard to say no
procrastination
perfectionism
seeking approval from others
finding it hard to make decisions
needing to control everything
needlessly apologising

If you have too many of those in your pocket, you are in trouble. What to do?

First, be honest with yourself. Take a good, hard look at your life, what is right, what is wrong and what you'd like to fix. Second, find someone else and be honest with them. Tell them exactly how it is, don't hedge, be totally honest and ask for help. It doesn't have to be a professional, but it wouldn't hurt either. Then take the steps to claim some happiness. The first step might be to determine why you fear happiness. Do you feel you have to have a jinx? That if you have too much happiness, something just awful will happen to you. Are you one to laugh at yourself first even though you feel like crying?

You don't have to be miserable you know. It's not a genetic mental illness; it's a life style, and life styles can be changed.

Traditional Christian Beliefs

2005-04-10T22:15:00.000-07:00

I have really changed my views since I became a Christian (last ten years) but was somewhat surprised just how much based on the results below. If you wish to see where you stand on Christian tradition beliefs, go here:

http://www.selectsmart.com/plus/select.php?url=denomtradition

Your results for Christian Traditions Selector

Rank Item Percent

1: Lutheran (100%)
2: Anglican/Episcopal/Church of England (89%)
3: Roman Catholic (86%)
4: Eastern Orthodox (78%)
5: Pentecostal/Charismatic/Assemblies of God (63%)
6: Baptist (non-Calvinistic)/Plymouth Brethren/Fundamentalist (57%)
7: Congregational/United Church of Christ (52%)
8: Methodist/Wesleyan/Nazarene (49%)
9: Presbyterian/Reformed (49%)
10: Anabaptist (Mennonite/Quaker etc.) (47%)
11: Church of Christ/Campbellite (43%)
12: Seventh-Day Adventist (43%)
13: Baptist (Reformed/Particular/Calvinistic) (36%)

The Rod of Aaron

2005-04-10T09:32:00.000-07:00

My mind is still on finding favor, or not, with God and why (brought on by thoughts about the Pope's death). This morning, I thought of Aaron. He was favored of God but not as favored as Moses apparently. Of the two, Moses remains the 'better known.' I wonder why that is so. Did he make one more mistake, have one more failure? Or was the incident with the 'golden calf' so terrible in God's eyes?

"When the time of the Exodus came, God sent Aaron (Exodus 4:14, 27-30) out to meet the returning Moses (who had just spent 40 years out in the Sinai with Jethro), to join with him in their assigned task. Aaron was to be the spokesman for Moses, who was unable to speak well, perhaps from stuttering (Exodus 6:30; 7:1-2,9-10,19). Although Moses was the leader, it was Aaron who did the actual speaking to Pharaoh through the events leading to the Exodus, and the crossing of the Red Sea.

Aaron was a faultless servant with his brother, at least at first. At Rephidim, when Moses overlooked the battle with the Amalekites from a nearby hill with the rod of God in his outstretched hand, it was Aaron and Hur (his brother-in-law, Miriam's husband), who held up Moses' tired arms until Israel's forces under Joshua won the battle (Exodus 17:8-13).

Aaron's greatest lapse in judgment occurred while Moses was away on the mountain receiving the Ten Commandments from God. For whatever reason, Aaron gave in to the people's demands, and made that now-infamous golden calf for the people to worship (Exodus 32:4). When Moses returned, Aaron was sternly rebuked, but was forgiven by God after Moses prayed for him. Aaron came very close to being killed for that incident (Deuteronomy 9:20)

Aaron's career seemed to blow hot and cold. He certainly had his low points (i.e. the golden calf), but overall he remained a steadfast ally of his brother. During the Korah rebellion, Aaron stood courageously with Moses (Numbers 16:1-50). Not long after that, the miraculous sprouting of his staff was used to demonstrate that he was indeed the high priest to those who were questioning his authority (Numbers 17:1-13). That staff was afterwards preserved in the Tabernacle (Hebrews 9:4)

Neither Moses nor Aaron were permitted to enter the Promised Land (See Heartbreak Mountain). Aaron was involved in the water-from-the-rock incident at Meribah (Numbers 20:8-13), and for that presumptuous disobedience to God's instructions both were not permitted to enter the Promised Land (Numbers 20:24).

The brother of Moses and Miriam, Aaron was both a prophet and the first High Priest. Along side Moses he performed various miraculous deeds and signs before Pharaoh and his court. Aaron transformed his rod into a serpent, which consumed the serpents created by Egyptian magicians (Ex. 7). The first three of the ten plagues (blood, frogs and lice) were initiated by Aaron at God's command (Ex. 7-8).

Rabbinic literature describes miraculous events surrounding the death of Aaron. God placed one mountain on top of another to mark where Aaron would be buried, which is why the Bible calls his burial place Hor ha-Har ("Mount of the Mountain"). Aaron was laid to rest on a couch in a luminous cave on Mount Hor by angels. He was enveloped by a Cloud of Glory and he died by the Kiss of God."

AARON’S FAILURE:

Even though Aaron is recognized as an important historical figure in Israeli history, he made some serious mistakes. There are three significant events that reveal a tendency in Aaron that is common to today’s society.

a. The gold calf incident (Ex 3:21-32) – The mistake of following the majority. When Moses ascended Sinai to receive the Law, he had placed Aaron and Hur in charge (Ex 24:13-14). After Moses had been gone forty days, the Israelis were ready to appoint another leader. They demanded that Aaron make a god to lead them (32:1). Aaron quickly capitulated to the mob’s demands showing very little leadership and commitment to God. He constructed an image according to the mob’s specifications. When confronted by the angry Moses, Aaron tried to rationalize his wrong by two absurd excuses: he said the mob forced him to do it and he claimed he just threw the gold into the fire and the calf just “happened” to result (Ex 32:21-24).
b. The derision of Moses’ wife (Nu 12:1-15) – The mistake of pride. Miriam and Aaron complained about Moses’ marriage to the Cushite woman (an African woman from Ethiopia). Their complaint was a cover-up of their real problem – they were jealous because Moses had been given the greater role of leadership (12:2-8). Their act of jealousy enraged God and God caused leprosy to defile Miriam (12:9-10). It may be that Miriam was the one struck with the disease because she was the leader and Aaron merely followed. Once again his weak character allowed him to make a tragic mistake.
c. The waters at Meribah (Nu 20:2-13) – The mistake of anger! The forty years wandering was almost concluded. The Israelis were facing a water shortage. The people grew impatient and began murmuring. Moses and Aaron became the targets of their harsh words. Together the brothers disobeyed God’s instructions and took glory upon themselves striking the rock instead of speaking to it (20:10-11). This demonstration of anger prevented both from entering into Canaan.

NOTE: These three incidents reveal that Aaron struggled with a major weakness. All of these events share in common one factor – Aaron allowed himself to be persuaded to replace God’s will with his personal will! This is seen in the pressure to create the mob’s idol, in the jealousy that prodded the criticism of Moses, and the angry outburst toward the murmuring Israelis.

I guess the greatest of human skills cannot help a man stand in the face of great temptations or fierce opposition. It seems to me, however, that his role was as great, if not greater than Moses' role yet, clearly, Moses was more favored, at least by history, than Aaron.

Rambling

2005-04-07T09:41:00.000-07:00

It was suggested in a comment on my last post that ministers/pastors do not get respect anymore and are actually scorned. That is true but not universal. Protestant ministers or men of the 'cloth' were very respected in American society until the early part of the last century when what is called 'human secularism' began to take hold. Until then, what the Bible had to say was more important than what 'society' had to say. Now, ministers are respected within the 'fold' but perhaps not out of the fold. Media scrutiny and the likes of Baaker, Swaggart, et. al. didn't help either. Errant ministers, unlike Catholic priests, are not protected by their denomination. In fact, just the reverse is true. They are thrown to the wolves with glee.

Back to the issue, used to be, when someone committed a crime, he was held accountable no matter what ghetto he was born in, whether he was born addicted to drugs, had a crack whore for a mother and a rapist for a father. An 'eye for an eye' was the standard. To 'fundamentalists,' it still is. To those who are considered to be 'far right' religiously, it still is the standard or is the standard they wish things returned to eventually. There doesn't seem to be middle ground anymore, that is, concern for the 'truth' but also for the social conditions. It seems to be 'either or.'

When social change or 'diversity' or political correctness became more important than scripture in the government's view, changes began in religious circles too. People began to take 'sides' or make choices about who and how they worshipped, and the dust hasn't settled yet.

Today, we have fundamentalists who believe every word literally in the Bible. On the other end of the spectrum we have the 'what I want is what is right' crowd. Anything goes and no one wants their sins pointed out or judgements made. Hell? What hell, they say.

In the great divide that is the middle, we have the 'I'll make it up as I go along' group. This is the most 'dangerous' of the three. In this group, they choose the scripture they will obey. They might ignore all those which say how husbands and wives should behave toward each other but 'obey' those on parenting. They may go to church once in a while or not at all or make their own church or worship a rock, a frog or an idea. They may or may not do good works when it pleases or does not please them. They might drink and take drugs in the dark but tell their children this is wrong. They either worship 'a' god or 'the' god' or a 'creator' or a 'higher power' or a combination of them or a combination of them and pagan or magical creatures, and it's all supposed to be OK.

One of the reasons 'real' ministers and men like the Pope were popular was because of sticking to the 'truth' as the good book told it. Not many believe in absolute truth anymore. A long time ago it seems, Menninger wrote a book called 'Whatever happened to sin?' Whatever did happen to sin?

As for respect, I think ministers are now viewed just like any 'occupation,' not a 'calling,' at least in the secular world. I don't mind that. It's not the world's approval I seek anyway. I just want to hear at judgement, 'well done, faithful servant' from the Lord. That will be enough for me.

The Divine Call

2005-04-02T13:53:00.000-08:00

Pope John Paul II has died. What a man he was, called by God to serve in a most tremendous way. He was obviously a brilliant man, could speak 8 languages, could separate the wheat from the tares.

I can't help but wonder why some men become great while others, just as intelligent, do not. Does everyone receive the Divine Call? Scriptures tell us that we are all called to service. But some do not heed the call... why?

Matthew 22:14 "For many are called, but few are chosen ."

Do all receive the Divine Call but only a few the Divine Touch? What makes one man or woman say 'yes God' while another, equally as talented, say 'no?' Even when we say 'yes,' is there some quality that God seeks that we cannot know about, that we either have or don't have based on some factor(s) out of our control. Are there some God loves more in the womb than others?

I wonder how my own life would be different had I not said 'yes' on that hot, humid night in a little church in Virginia? No one, including me, had any inkling that I would do such a thing. I was a nonbeliever of atheist parents. I had never been in a church except for two funerals. I wanted to be handsome and rich and get the girls and hoped to be that way without a lot of effort. I wasn't doing too bad in the lack of effort department. Except for going to college which was paid for in full by my father and practicing piano, I did not exert myself much. Yet, when I heard the call, and I did hear it... He said in my mind 'I am yours, and you are mine, I realized... 'how can I say no?' So, I said yes.

I am glad I accepted the 'call.' I believe I have served the Lord to the best of my abilities, have helped people, have desired the 'good service.' Eph. 6:7 "With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men." Even so, I am no John Paul II, not even close. What makes the superior servant? .. more humility, more mysticism, what?

Is part of it timing? Can a mere man become great in times with no challenge? The Pope was born in a communist society, saw the rise of Hitler, survived it, made difficult choices. Is that the difference?

Our deepest problem seems to be to find the strength to do the right thing as we see it. If our hearts are right, our minds will be less confused. Yet, there are choices in life that make all the difference. Perhaps one wrong step, one wrong choice forever precludes the Divine Touch. I do not know.

I do know that Pope John Paul II was a man who achieved unbelieving and astonishing things, because he believed and because He lives. I know his soul rests lightly with the Lord today, and aren't we the lucky ones, to have known such a man who received the call and received the touch.

Daddy Mon

2005-03-31T19:20:00.000-08:00

The last post stirred up all kinds of memories of adopting Melina. I wrote this four years ago to put on my web site, written from what I thought would be Melina's perspective. She did call me Daddy Mon then.

My Daddy Mon
Copyright@ February 4, 2001

He needed a little girl, my Daddy Mon, but he didn't know it at first. Although he is pretty smart, he's not perfect, and we all give him some 'slack' as my Grandad says. I'm not sure what 'slack' is but Grandad says Daddy Mon has always needed a lot of it. Grandad IS very smart, so I guess he does not need so much 'slack.' Granna just smiles at them both like she never needs any, she's so smart.

Anyway, before I ever met Daddy Mon, Grandad or Granna, Daddy Mon had Yawni, a little boy. Yawni is very nice for a boy, but there are some things boys just cannot do or even be. They try, but it's just not Godly possible. My Aunt Sara told me that. For instance, Yawni can't say Melina very well. He calls me Leeeeena. I, so far, have let him get by with it, even though my name is Melina Jane McCormick, and names are important. He's got a funny upper lip, and that could be the reason. Or maybe it's because he's only two. As Daddy Mon says about a lot of things, 'one never can tell.' I wonder why one never can tell?

Yawni and I are alike in one way though. Our mothers are angels. How did that happen, you ask? Well, our mothers died and went to Heaven to be like the angels. They are not angels of course, since they were born human, but they are LIKE angels. It's hard to explain, but Daddy Mon has tried and tried.

Yawni's mother died just before he was born. That's hardest of all to explain, but that's another story. My mother died not long along, and she told me this story I'm trying to tell you here. She was very sick, you see, and she wanted to be sure I understood the story before she had to go and before Jesus called her the last time to come to live with him where she would not be sick any more. She was like that. I didn't get to be with her much in my life, but I knew that about her. She liked to finish what she started. Her name was Teresa.

So...

Teresa told me that Daddy Mon lived with Yawni in a big house with no little girl at all. Can you imagine? They had a nice house but it was full of boy stuff and the colors were mostly brown and some color called beige. Yuck! This story could get sad if I let it. All they ever did for fun besides watch ball games on TV and educational 'stuff' was go for walks, looking for bugs. Can you imagine? It's a good thing they love each other and weren't bored to death. They did sing some and play piano. I forgot about that. They also went to church, but I have not yet decided if that is fun or just important. Granna says 'time will tell.'

Back to the story. Daddy Mon and my mother met one day, another story for another time. When my mother knew she would have to go to be with Jesus she wanted to find me a good family so I would be happy on earth until I could go to be with Jesus. At first, she was thinking of the usual family... you know, a mother and a father. But that was before she met Daddy Mon. What changed her mind? Well, she told me the secret there. She said Daddy Mon loved me more than anyone else but her, and he needed me.

That about cinches it for me. Don't you love the word 'cinches?' That's another word Grandad uses a lot. I may not be very old, but I know what love means ....and need. I really know about need. One time, I needed my first daddy but he could not come to me. My mother needed medicine and doctors and hospitals, and she had no money. She needed someone to take care of me so she called the 'state.' I don't remember much about them, but Daddy Mon says that's OK, that no one remembers much about the first couple years.

Before you get tired, I'll tell you the end. (Sometimes Daddy Mon reads the end of the book before he is supposed to... :) Don't tell anyone).

I saw Daddy Mon and he saw me when I was only a few months old. He's been around since then, but only recently did my mother tell me how much he needed me. If I had known, I would have gone home with Daddy Mon earlier. I really love Daddy Mon. But this story has a happy ending, or is it a beginning? It gets confusing.

Anyway, I am with Daddy Mon and Yawni now in that big house. My bed room is pink and white with many other colored things in it, and there's a colored high chair in the kitchen and ... well, I could go on forever but I'm sure you get the idea. And let me tell you, the routine around that house has changed too! Bugs are OK but it's not my favorite thing to do. Sometimes we watch 'Rug Rats' on TV. I don't care if they don't like Angelica's bossiness. The meals have improved a lot at lunch time. I don't have the time to tell you what they used to eat for lunch. Ugh. Daddy Mon has learned about girl's hair and girl's clothing and dollies. That was very important. Mine is named 'Dollie Me' and she likes living with Daddy Mon and Yawni too.

I really need to go now, but before I do, let me finish the story. The very best part of this story is that Daddy Mon has me and my love. I hug him every night at least once before prayers and bed time. I hug Yawni too, but he doesn't know much yet. I watch Daddy Mon to be sure that he is happy. If he looks the least bit sad, I do something funny. He says I'm funny as a tub of monkeys. I do what he calls 'priss around' a lot, and we all laugh a lot. Maybe that's what my mother meant when she said my Daddy Mon needed me. I like to laugh too! :)

I'm going now. We all are going to church, and I'm sure Daddy Mon will let me and Yawni ride on his shoulders some. It's really not hard taking care of Daddy Mon. Yawni and I take turns and Jesus helps and there you go! As Daddy Mon tells people, 'have a good day in the Lord.' Bye now.

O how it hurts...

2005-03-30T14:28:00.000-08:00

My daughter is five years old and in her first year of 'school,' kindergarten as a matter of fact. Her brother is in first grade. Sending them both to school for the first time was very traumatic for me. lol Little John was in Brazil and was taught kindergarten skills at home by a tutor, so this is his first experience in school too. You thought only mothers went through these traumas, eh? They both attend a Christian 'academy' for students in K through 12, but there are only 10-12 students per class. It is a fine school and costs a pretty penny.

My Melina is a talker. She yaks and yaks, constantly it seems. It's her nature, always has been so. At home, we have the 'intermission rule.' If we are watching a movie or TV show as a family, there will be no talking until intermission (at least once an hour.. time to pee, get popcorn, etc. and TALK). That means no questions, nada. If not, we'd all be crazy. I recall Melina asking at least 9 questions on the death of Mufasa alone (Lion King). She, as she tells me often enough, likes to 'know things.' The intermission rule is a difficult rule for Melina to follow (and Caro :) but she tries. Punishment for breaking the rule is one does not get to finish the movie. :(

The school the kids go to allows corporal punishment, if the parents consent. If the parents don't consent, they must go to the school and spank the child instead of the teacher doin it. I figured that would be more embarrassing and would 'single' them out. I gave much thought to this as I have been, heretofore, the only person to discipline my children. Finally, I decided they may be spanked at school but only on the hands. The school officials agreed. Well, today, Melina got her hands spanked. Yes, for talking. Talking a lot and after several warnings.

I absolutely feel like Simon LeGree. She handled it very well. It's difficult to embarrass Melina; she's such a ham. I have no idea where she got that trait. There are no marks on her hands, and she seems not to be angry. So why am I?

In my 'role' as a daddy, the most difficult part for me is not to coddle too much and to insist on respect for and obedience to authority without killing the spirit and destroying creativity, etc. I did not look ahead far enough to realize I wouldn't be the only authority figure for them forever.

Right now, Melina is in the kitchen where Caro is learning how to make Pork Medallions with Gravy, and she is talking everyone's ears off. She's forgotten the whole thing. Why haven't I?

It's not easy being 'Da.'

For the glory of God

2005-03-28T19:55:00.000-08:00

It was my mother's dream that I be a concert pianist. For 12 years as a child and ten years as an adult, I studied piano. I was not crazy about the dream, but I loved the music. I especially loved the music of Johann Sebastian Bach (1685-1750).

Bach lived his whole life in Germany and in music. Born into a musical family, Bach's life was almost predetermined to be in the field of music. But from a child he internalized the art and passionately pursued the development of his skills. It would result in a legacy that has enriched the world and continues to inspire, engage, and touch souls across diverse cultural boundaries now close to three hundred years later.

While I labored over his music and felt it in my soul, at that time I made absolutely no connection with Bach and the reason he composed. An unbeliever couldn't/wouldn't I guess. Bach composed to give glory to God.

“The aim and final reason of all music,“ Bach said, “should be none else but the glory of God.”
What is the secret to Bach's success? Even atheist Music Humanities teachers will tell you: Bach wrote his music for the glory of God. Bach's orientation to and personal relationship with God caused him to be very thorough with his work. He wrote primarily for neither the musically uneducated, nor the most gourmet of music critics; Bach's audience was no less than the almighty, eternal, infinite God.

Quite an imposing task! Perhaps this is why Bach inserted "J.J." (Jesu Juva in Latin, meaning "Jesus, help me") at the beginning of each composition and "S.D.G." (Soli Deo Gloria meaning "To the glory of God alone,") at the end of each.

When I read these words about Bach not that long ago, I realized those are basically the same words I pray before I preach or sing or play. 'Playing for God' is infinitely better than playing for self or even playing for mother. :)

I shall be eternally grateful for the gift of music, Bach's and mine, and for God who is so gracious to all. I believe that God is just as pleased when I sit down to play 'How Great Thou Art' as he was when I played classical music in black tie before a more sophisticated audience, perhaps, but not a more appreciative one. :)

The Liar King

2005-03-27T20:32:00.000-08:00

My children like me to tell them a bed time story, tell, not read, for whatever their reasons. Tonight, I told them a story based on a story I read called the Liar King by Robert L. Sheridan. A blurb tells about the liar this way: "The quack of all quacks – the most perfect, dirty, rotten scoundrel that in these latter ages has left his stain on the world’s history ... we have found in the Count Alessandro di Cagliostro ... unfortunate child of nature; by profession healer of diseases, abolisher of wrinkles, friend of the poor and impotent, grand master of the Egyptian Mason Lodge of High Science, spirit summoner, gold-cook, grand cophta, prophet, priest, and thaumaturgic moralist and swindler; really a liar of the first magnitude, thorough-paced in all provinces of lying, what one may call the king of liars" ... who made himself quite wealthy in his lifetime, and traveled and worked in noble circles throughout Europe." While the story, on the surface, seems to make the liar seem a likeable fellow, things that happen to most bad liars happened to him. The kids liked the story.

In our home, we have some rules that we follow, and when the rules are broken, punishment follows. Lying is a big no no. Lying destroys trust; it destroys futures. Except for murder and cheating (in the marital sense), there is no worse sin in the McCormick household than lying.

Why do people lie so much anyway? We lie all the time. White lies, face-saving lies, ass-saving lies, lies designed to keep from hurting somebody's feelings and lies to get revenge on those who have hurt our feelings. The really big whoppers though, are the lies we tell ourselves.

A man who runs a forum on Delphi has in his 'signature line' that he lives to fight bigotry, but his entire forum is devoted to hating and hurting Christians. He's living a lie or at least lying in his signature line. Lying may have reached its pinnacle on the internet for lying is so easy to do and so hard to detect. Why, though, one wants to hide what he/she is, what he/she does escapes me for when one lives a lie, no one knows you, so you are just as faceless as you want to be but without anyone having any real knowledge of you. It's a pathetic thing to have the need to lie, to be somebody at the expense of the truth and your friends, so-called, online. The coward who pretends to be brave is still a coward; the lady who is promiscuous but pretends to be a Christian woman of virtue is still a whatever word you wish to apply to such a woman. The person who pretends to be a virtuous spouse but does cybersex with the IM chatters is a cheat and a liar, etc. They may fool the people on the other end of the computer but they don't fool God, nor do they fool themselves.

What about those who lie for the good of others, you ask? There are some who feel that lying can be the "kind" thing to do inorder to avoid conflict. But lying is a very serious matter. Trust lost may never be regained and so many will lie much more thanthey originally intended to try to cover their "small" lie. Theyhave to keep telling bigger lies to cover their previous lying. The devil himself is the father of lies.

John 8:44 "Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of yourfather ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketha lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it."

There is NO good lie. A lie is a lie is a lie. The truth is always better. At the very least, speak not at all rather than lie. There is nothing more offensive to God than a lie. Or to me either.

The Fact of the Resurrection

2005-03-24T15:02:00.000-08:00

THE FACT OF CHRIST'S RESURRECTION

The main sources which directly attest the fact of Christ's Resurrection are the Four Gospels and the Epistles of St. Paul. Easter morning is so rich in incident, and so crowded with interested persons, that its complete history presents a rather complicated tableau. It is not surprising, therefore, that the partial accounts contained in each of the Four Gospels appear at first sight hard to harmonize.

But whatever view as to the visit to the sepulchre by the pious women and the appearance of the angels we may defend, we cannot deny the Evangelists' agreement as to the fact that the risen Christ appeared to one or more persons. According to St. Matthew, He appeared to the holy women, and again on a mountain in Galilee; according to St. Mark, He was seen by Mary Magdalen, by the two disciples at Emmaus, and the Eleven before his Ascension into heaven; according to St. Luke, He walked with the disciples to Emmaus, appeared to Peter and to the assembled disciples in Jerusalem; according to St. John, Jesus appeared to Mary Magdalen, to the ten Apostles on Easter Sunday, to the Eleven a week later, and to the seven disciples at the Sea of Tiberias. St. Paul (I Cor., xv, 3-8) enumerates another series of apparitions of Jesus after His Resurrection; he was seen by Cephas, by the Eleven, by more than 500 brethren, many of whom were still alive at the time of the Apostle's writing, by James, by all the Apostles, and lastly by Paul himself.

The holy women carrying the spices previously prepared start out for the sepulchre before dawn, and reach it after sunrise; they are anxious about the heavy stone, but know nothing of the official guard of the sepulchre. The angel frightened the guards by his brightness, put them to flight, rolled away the stone, and seated himself not upon (ep autou), but above (epano autou) the stone .

(Mary Magdalen, Mary the Mother of James, and Salome approach the sepulchre, and see the stone rolled back, whereupon Mary Magdalen immediately returns to inform the Apostles.

The other two holy women enter the sepulchre, find an angel seated in the vestibule, who shows them the empty sepulchre, announces the Resurrection, and commissions them to tell the disciples and Peter that they shall see Jesus in Galilee.

A second group of holy women, consisting of Joanna and her companions, arrive at the sepulchre, where they have probably agreed to meet the first group, enter the empty interior, and are admonished by two angels that Jesus has risen according to His prediction.

Not long after, Peter and John, who were notified by Mary Magdalen, arrive at the sepulchre and find the linen cloth in such a position as to exclude the supposition that the body was stolen; for they lay simply flat on the ground, showing that the sacred body had vanished out of them without touching them. When John notices this he believes.

Mary Magdalen returns to the sepulchre, sees first two angels within, and then Jesus Himself.

The two groups of pious women, who probably met on their return to the city, are favored with the sight of Christ arisen, who commissions them to tell His brethren that they will see him in Galilee.

The holy women relate their experiences to the Apostles, but find no belief.

Jesus appears to the disciples, at Emmaus, and they return to Jerusalem; the Apostles appear to waver between doubt and belief.

Christ appears to Peter, and therefore Peter and John firmly believe in the Resurrection.

After the return of the disciples from Emmaus, Jesus appears to all the Apostles excepting Thomas.

Briefly, therefore, the fact of Christ's Resurrection is attested by more than 500 eyewitnesses, whose experience, simplicity, and uprightness of life rendered them incapable of inventing such a fable, who lived at a time when any attempt to deceive could have been easily discovered, who had nothing in this life to gain, but everything to lose by their testimony, whose moral courage exhibited in their apostolic life can be explained only by their intimate conviction of the objective truth of their message.

Finally the thousands and millions, both Jews and Gentiles, who believed the testimony of the Apostles in spite of all the disadvantages following from such a belief, in short the origin of the Church, requires for its explanation the reality of Christ's Resurrection, fot the rise of the Church without the Resurrection would have been a greater miracle than the Resurrection itself.

What about you? Are you serving the Living Lord? May it be so this Easter!

Rev. 21:3 "And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God."

Whut happened? lol

2005-03-23T13:48:00.000-08:00

I just got home from work, and the housekeeper told me that Carolyn blew up the microwave. lol I absolutely cannot wait for the explanation. She is at the library.... perhaps looking up a suitable explanation? :)

I asked the housekeeper how it happend. 'How do I know,' she asks. 'You do not pay me enough to rat on your wife.' lol I wonder how much it would take? I'm glad she has finally developed some loyalty to my wife.

'Is everything else OK,' I asked. 'Of course,' the housekeeper said. 'What kind of show do you think we run here?' lol Sorry I asked.

I'll wait for the kids to get home. They are respectful. :)

Palm Sunday

2005-03-22T09:29:00.000-08:00

Yesterday's news: Thousands of Christians have begun Holy Week by retracing the steps Jesus took on His triumphal entry into Jerusalem. The Palm Sunday procession in the Holy City was larger than in previous years, thanks to a lull in violence. Under sunny skies, crowds marched from the Mount of Olives into the Old City of Jerusalem.

The Bible says Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey as followers spread palm branches in His path, fulfilling an ancient Jewish prophecy. In Bethlehem, Palestinian Christians walked or rode donkeys toward Jerusalem, knowing they would be stopped by the separation barrier Israel is building. Their march became a demonstration.

John 12:13 "Took branches of palm trees, and went forth to meet him, and cried, Hosanna: Blessed is the King of Israel that cometh in the name of the Lord."

The palm-tree was a tall tree, with a single stem, which was surmounted with a tuft of feathery ramifications, six or eight feet long, and called sometimes branches and sometimes leaves. They were used in marches and processions as the emblems of rejoicing and victory.

The shouting appears to have been started by those who came out of Jerusalem; it is evident, therefore, that the apostles who were approaching the city with Jesus had nothing to do with inciting this praise.

John 12:26 "If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honour."

Do you need therapy?

2005-03-20T20:20:00.000-08:00

Are you considering seeking therapy, but are unsure whether it's the right choice for you? If certain issues have been causing dysfunction in your life, and you aren't sure how to make the necessary changes, therapy can help. Dealing with your problems with the help of a professional can get you out of that rut, and into a more productive pattern. Almost anyone with a dysfunction can benefit from seeking professional help from a therapist.

The Do I need Therapy Test will help you determine the steps in your path to emotional wellness. Fill out the following questionnaire truthfully, paying special attention to the specified time period to which the questions refer. The results will only be valid if you answer in an honest and complete manner. After all, no one will see it but you.

What it measures: Whether you have, or are at risk for developing, a mental disorder. Checks for symptoms and criteria established in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder - Forth edition, or DSM-IV (APA, 1994). Returns information about whether therapy is right for you.

What you get: Tentative diagnosis: verification of diagnostic criteria for various types of mental illness Symptoms: List of symptoms detected by the test Advice: suggestions on how to find a therapist who is right for you.

http://linkfilter.net/cgi-bin/lf.fpl?cmd=go;id=78046

The Easter Sermon of John Chrysostom

2005-03-19T20:43:00.000-08:00

The Easter Sermon of John Chrysostom
Pastor of Constantinople (~400 AD)

Is there anyone who is a devout lover of God?
Let them enjoy this beautiful bright festival!
Is there anyone who is a grateful servant?
Let them rejoice and enter into the joy of their Lord!

Are there any weary with fasting?
Let them now receive their wages!
If any have toiled from the first hour,
let them receive their due reward;
If any have come after the third hour,
let him with gratitude join in the Feast!
And he that arrived after the sixth hour,
let him not doubt; for he too shall sustain no loss.
And if any delayed until the ninth hour,
let him not hesitate; but let him come too.
And he who arrived only at the eleventh hour,
let him not be afraid by reason of his delay.

For the Lord is gracious and receives the last even as the first.
He gives rest to him that comes at the eleventh hour,
as well as to him that toiled from the first.
To this one He gives, and upon another He bestows.
He accepts the works as He greets the endeavor.
The deed He honors and the intention He commends.

Let us all enter into the joy of the Lord!
First and last alike receive your reward;
rich and poor, rejoice together!
Sober and slothful, celebrate the day!

You that have kept the fast, and you that have not,
rejoice today for the Table is richly laden!
Feast royally on it, the calf is a fatted one.
Let no one go away hungry. Partake, all, of the cup of faith.
Enjoy all the riches of His goodness!

Let no one grieve at his poverty,
for the universal kingdom has been revealed.
Let no one mourn that he has fallen again and again;
for forgiveness has risen from the grave.
Let no one fear death, for the Death of our Savior has set us free.
He has destroyed it by enduring it.

He destroyed Hades when He descended into it.
He put it into an uproar even as it tasted of His flesh.
Isaiah foretold this when he said,
"You, O Hell, have been troubled by encountering Him below."

Hell was in an uproar because it was done away with.
It was in an uproar because it is mocked.
It was in an uproar, for it is destroyed.
It is in an uproar, for it is annihilated.
It is in an uproar, for it is now made captive.
Hell took a body, and discovered God.
It took earth, and encountered Heaven.
It took what it saw, and was overcome by what it did not see.
O death, where is thy sting?
O Hades, where is thy victory?

Christ is Risen, and you, o death, are annihilated!
Christ is Risen, and the evil ones are cast down!
Christ is Risen, and the angels rejoice!
Christ is Risen, and life is liberated!
Christ is Risen, and the tomb is emptied of its dead;
for Christ having risen from the dead,
is become the first-fruits of those who have fallen asleep.

To Him be Glory and Power forever and ever. Amen!