So-called friends and hypocrites
Have you ever made a mistake when you thought someone was your friend, having your best interest at heart, but they weren't and they didn't? So have I and recently too. It can be true that your 'so called friend' is a hypocrite.
I read a list of 30 'signs' of hypocrisy on an Islam web site recently. This one rang very true for me. "Rejoicing at the affliction of others with a calamity and being saddened at their being touched by joy and pleasure." In our struggles the last few months, Caro and I have been hurt several times by people being 'happy' because we have had problems and people being 'sad' when things go right for us. Even more difficult to accept, the 'so called friend' hoping things do not work out, discouraging us. It's a hard thing to accept when your 'so called friends' betray you.
People throw around the word hypocrite a lot, and it is especially thrown at Christians. If a Christian makes a mistake, or even sins, he is called a hypocrite. A hypocrite is someone who gives a 'false' appearance of virtue or religion. It's not just that he sins or makes a mistake, he has to do it intentionally to be a hypocrite. Motive is the determinant. So if the Christian is trying to live a good life and makes a mistake, he is not a hypocrite. He's just the common-variety sinner, the same as nonChristians who make mistakes. The 'so called friend' who does hurt you intentionally IS a hypocrite. He smiles while he stabs you in the back with the dagger.
Throughout history, few behaviors have been condemned more often and more soundly than hypocrisy. Almost 3,000 years ago, Homer wrote, "I detest that man, who hides one thing in the depths of his heart, and speaks forth another." In the sixth century B.C., Lao-tzu said, "To pretend to know when you do not know is a disease." In the fifth century B.C., Confucius said, "Hold faithfulness and sincerity as first principles," and "[The superior man] speaks according to his actions."
There seems to be little Jesus of Nazareth hated as much as hypocrisy; he condemned it more than anything else. Jesus also claims that hypocrites "have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness" (Matthew 23:23).
The true hypocrite is the one who ceases to perceive his deception, the one who lies with sincerity. May God spare me from this kind. I have forgotten where I wanted to go with this post. I'll just end with: 'I know who you are.' :)
I read a list of 30 'signs' of hypocrisy on an Islam web site recently. This one rang very true for me. "Rejoicing at the affliction of others with a calamity and being saddened at their being touched by joy and pleasure." In our struggles the last few months, Caro and I have been hurt several times by people being 'happy' because we have had problems and people being 'sad' when things go right for us. Even more difficult to accept, the 'so called friend' hoping things do not work out, discouraging us. It's a hard thing to accept when your 'so called friends' betray you.
People throw around the word hypocrite a lot, and it is especially thrown at Christians. If a Christian makes a mistake, or even sins, he is called a hypocrite. A hypocrite is someone who gives a 'false' appearance of virtue or religion. It's not just that he sins or makes a mistake, he has to do it intentionally to be a hypocrite. Motive is the determinant. So if the Christian is trying to live a good life and makes a mistake, he is not a hypocrite. He's just the common-variety sinner, the same as nonChristians who make mistakes. The 'so called friend' who does hurt you intentionally IS a hypocrite. He smiles while he stabs you in the back with the dagger.
Throughout history, few behaviors have been condemned more often and more soundly than hypocrisy. Almost 3,000 years ago, Homer wrote, "I detest that man, who hides one thing in the depths of his heart, and speaks forth another." In the sixth century B.C., Lao-tzu said, "To pretend to know when you do not know is a disease." In the fifth century B.C., Confucius said, "Hold faithfulness and sincerity as first principles," and "[The superior man] speaks according to his actions."
There seems to be little Jesus of Nazareth hated as much as hypocrisy; he condemned it more than anything else. Jesus also claims that hypocrites "have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness" (Matthew 23:23).
The true hypocrite is the one who ceases to perceive his deception, the one who lies with sincerity. May God spare me from this kind. I have forgotten where I wanted to go with this post. I'll just end with: 'I know who you are.' :)
posted by Johnny at
6:50 AM
15 Comments:
Hi John,
I am sorry you have and your family have been hurt by the hypocrisy of others. The closer the relationship the sharper the pain. No matter how savvy a person is, there is always that place of vulnerability where we can let someone in and open ourselves to this kind of hurt. It speaks to your sincerity and tenderness of heart that you were blind to the hypocrisy. I believe it is always better to see people for who they really are. As painful as this situation may be, you and your family now know the truth and as the good book says, "the truth shall set you free". Don't try to figure it out, just comfort each other and be as honest as you always are with the offending person. I truly am sorry you have to go through this. Hang in there guy. I'm praying for you all, as I have been.
Have a blessed day,
Elaine \o/
By
Anonymous, at 8:29 AM
Good advice, and I'll do my best with it. Thank you, as always, for your prayers. They mean so much to me. As 'they' say, this too shall pass.
By
Johnny, at 11:37 AM
John, my family and I went through a similar situation a couple of years ago when my little brother was accused of a crime he didn't commit. We found out quickly who our real friends were, and who had been waiting in the wings for an opportunity to gloat. As painful as it was, we discovered something else as well. There were those whom we had held in low esteem or little regard, people who we expected would rejoice in our situation. Instead, they offered us comfort and became friends. The experience gave us the opportunity to see others as they really are, and though I would not wish to go through something that painful again, still some good came of it.
I wish the same for you and your family, that you may find the good among the bad, and find happiness once more.
By
Aravis, at 12:18 PM
Thank you for your concern and kind words. It all will work out. :)
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Johnny, at 4:19 PM
I think YB has a point about jealousy. It could be another form of jealousy as well. Some people are so desperately unhappy with their own lives that the only way they can feel better about it is to see someone else in pain. In a twisted way, it makes them feel better about themselves. I pray for this sort of person. How sad their lives must be!
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Aravis, at 11:46 PM
::'I know who you are.' :) ::Then perhaps you should discuss it directly?
By
Anonymous, at 8:08 AM
Hi Johnny,
You are one of the strongest people I know. I know you have put up with these so called "friends" in the past and have always come out on top and I know you will this time too. Scott and I have you all in our prayers and are very happy that things are working out for the good. Love and hugs to you all.
Jan
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Anonymous, at 8:57 AM
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Anonymous, at 9:02 AM
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Anonymous, at 9:02 AM
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Anonymous, at 9:02 AM
OPPS....don't know why that posted four times....only wrote it once....SORRY!!!
By
Anonymous, at 9:03 AM
You might have hit the publish button more than once. Anyway, you must have been thinking of the board of trustees who did me 'dirty' when I learned I had Hodgins. This was more personal, but it's OK. I'm doing OK. Thanks for worrying about and loving me. :)
By
Johnny, at 8:22 PM
What I hear you saying is that some of your friends hurt you intentionally and take delight in stabbing you in the back. Do you, in all honesty believe that?
Di
By
Anonymous, at 3:24 AM
Several, Di, and, yes, that's what I believe, but it's over now.
By
Johnny, at 5:44 AM
One of the anon. bloggers said I should speak to them directly. I did.
By
Johnny, at 7:01 AM
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