Who's life is it anyway?
My wife may be with child (notice how I act like I had nothing to do with that :) but it's a bit too early to know for sure. It's not to early, it seems, to discuss nurseries, baby clothes, mama clothers and strollers. Yes, strollers. It seems you can get a decent, do-the-job stroller from Wal-Mart for about $60 but the top-of-the-line or state-of-the-art strollers for fashion-conscious mothers can cost upwards of $500. Wow! That's cruising in style.
I do not want to deprive my wife of any new mother feeling or experience, but I find it rediculous to spend hundreds for a stroller. Seems wiser to me to bank the extra $400 or so and give it to the child later. Obviously Junior or Junette will not know what kind of stroller it's riding in, so does it really matter what the neighbors or Jones' think? Apparently so, to many people.
Parenting has changed a lot. When we were an industrial society, people had kids to love, help run the farm and take care of them when they got old. The kids had love and a roof over their heads. It worked. If you count on your kids to take care of you when you're old now, you may be in for a big shock. And while you love them, they may not love you back, at least for long. By age seven, they seem to throw you over for the school teacher's aide someone else much more in the know that you. If you don't gift them with the lates video games, sneakers, jeans, ipods, cell phones, etc. you are simply abusive.
But the fault is not all with the kids either. Parents seem to live vicariously through their children. I watched the annual 'word power' show today on NBC (with Al Roker as MC). A little oriental girl named Ming-Ming won top prize, $25,000. The mother of the child came up at the end of the show. I cannot describe how she acted. It was more than just pride. It was so 'look what I raised' that it amazed me. The kid was the coolest, by this I mean nerveless, anxietyless, kid I ever saw. I believe she has been groomed to win all her life. Do these kids ever get to just play?
Maybe I am a failure as a father. I think piano and soccer are enough weekly lessons besides school and Sunday School. I haven't tried to be sure they get into Harvard as they are just 5 and 6 years old now. It won't be the end of the world if they go to the University of Iowa (great football), will it? I see nothing wrong with K-Mart sneakers and Target jeans. It will be many a year before they get cell phones. Ipods, maybe. Video games, probably not for kids don't really like the nonviolent ones, do they? DVD's and such are reviewed for content by me so what's the fun in those?
So how do you feel about status seeking or do you consider it that these days? Am I just an old bear?
I do not want to deprive my wife of any new mother feeling or experience, but I find it rediculous to spend hundreds for a stroller. Seems wiser to me to bank the extra $400 or so and give it to the child later. Obviously Junior or Junette will not know what kind of stroller it's riding in, so does it really matter what the neighbors or Jones' think? Apparently so, to many people.
Parenting has changed a lot. When we were an industrial society, people had kids to love, help run the farm and take care of them when they got old. The kids had love and a roof over their heads. It worked. If you count on your kids to take care of you when you're old now, you may be in for a big shock. And while you love them, they may not love you back, at least for long. By age seven, they seem to throw you over for the school teacher's aide someone else much more in the know that you. If you don't gift them with the lates video games, sneakers, jeans, ipods, cell phones, etc. you are simply abusive.
But the fault is not all with the kids either. Parents seem to live vicariously through their children. I watched the annual 'word power' show today on NBC (with Al Roker as MC). A little oriental girl named Ming-Ming won top prize, $25,000. The mother of the child came up at the end of the show. I cannot describe how she acted. It was more than just pride. It was so 'look what I raised' that it amazed me. The kid was the coolest, by this I mean nerveless, anxietyless, kid I ever saw. I believe she has been groomed to win all her life. Do these kids ever get to just play?
Maybe I am a failure as a father. I think piano and soccer are enough weekly lessons besides school and Sunday School. I haven't tried to be sure they get into Harvard as they are just 5 and 6 years old now. It won't be the end of the world if they go to the University of Iowa (great football), will it? I see nothing wrong with K-Mart sneakers and Target jeans. It will be many a year before they get cell phones. Ipods, maybe. Video games, probably not for kids don't really like the nonviolent ones, do they? DVD's and such are reviewed for content by me so what's the fun in those?
So how do you feel about status seeking or do you consider it that these days? Am I just an old bear?
posted by Johnny at
9:32 PM
6 Comments:
Hey Johnny - looking forward to hearing more good news. I remember when I first became a mum - I wanted the best of everything - only because I had no idea what I had ahead of me - who cares about the latest strollers and toys when your baby keeps you up the whole night crying and you are so exhausted - could have saved that money and hired a nanny - larf larf. Seriously though I took my girls to get their first "brand" name jeans and tshirts last week - they wore them with pride. We had a weekend shopping spree and at the end of it I said - did you love your new clothes - they go "yeh" but the best thing was hanging out with you and dad - I still hope they will say this when they are teenagers - its priceless and no amount of money or status can beat that...
By
Jeannie, at 3:55 AM
John, I passed on decorating a nursery, buying cute little matching outfits, and filling my living-room with all the junk that people seem to "need" these days to raise a baby. But I would slurge on a good stroller - something lightweight, sturdy, and easy to get in and out of a car. With two older children, she's going to have the baby in a stroller a bit more than a first time Mom who has her hands free and can always carry.
As for the rest of it, I have been too invested in how my oldest son "makes me look." I wanted him to have great manners, good grades, impecable grooming and a wonderful character so that people would say "my, what a great job you have done with him."
I think God gives us teenagers to humble us, and most of them do a mighty fine job of it.
By
Hopeful, at 10:28 AM
That's a good point on the stroller, Dana. I probably would not have thought of that. Another thing may be how well it holds up for babies to follow :)
I have never understood brands with children's clothes. They grow out of them so quickly I don't get the point. My step daughter gets name brand when it's a good buy. Special occasions may call for a little more out of pocket, but those are shopped out as well.
One thing we've never skimped on is shoes, especially when she was younger and those little bones and muscles were still developing. (A tip from my mother.) Even then we don't look for a particular brand, just quality.
By
SweetT, at 5:01 PM
I think in regards to baby items you should probably meet somewhere in the middle. You want quality and strength and something that endures.
When my children were little I wanted to nurture their creative instinct and their imaginations. This I did by keeping large quantities of art supplies on hand at all time. Every once in a while surprising them with a new box of crayons etc...I would get huge boxes that were for washers or refridgerators and let them make houses and forts. Painting the outsides, windows etc... We didn't bother with any video crap or games of that nature. We went on hunting expeditions out in the yard looking for bears etc. Growing gardens to see how care and nourishment could makes things grow. And always helping with chores no matter how young they were. To fold their siblings socks, and put pa pa's clothes away, teaching them to care about each other. I don't believe there is such a thing as "quality time", I think all time spent with your child is quality time. The greatest gift you can give them is you.
Splurge on that.
Because a new baby might be making an appearance in your household soon don't neglect the idea that your other children should play a major part in the preparations for that. Designing the baby's room, picking out clothes, talking about names etc. Of course you will make the final decisions but letting them know you value their ideas is very important. Using the words "our baby" are also very important in waiting for the new arrival.
By
Anonymous, at 8:23 AM
I once worked as a teacher's aide and attended a teacher's conference. One of the workshops had a university professor who posed the question, "What is the most important thing you could teach a child?"
I young fresh-faced teacher raised her hand and replyed, "Self-confidence." The professor whole-heartedly agreed.
Then asked, "Does anyone have a different opinion?"
I couldn't resist so I shot up my hand. I answered, "I totally disagree with the previous answer to your question. I have meet so many people who are full of self-confidence and full of themselves. They could care less as to whom they step on to get ahead. A child should be taught to serve others and to love God, then you'd have a productive member of society."
The professor looked rather shocked and then went on to teach her class. Afterwards, numerous teachers came up to thank me for speaking the truth.
I'd say, that's it Johnny...all that matters is if you teach your child to serve others and love God.
By
Truthful, at 9:06 PM
I was thinking today that only two things will outlast this world, God's word and people. Everything else will burn away. Makes one wonder about priorities, eh? I do believe my major responsibility is to teach my children to love and follow God, but there are more practical things that also matter, i.e, protection, financial security, loving and caring for their mother, etc. We are in the world, though not 'of' it and must take care of business and each other as God leads us.
By
Johnny, at 9:43 PM
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