Going on Vacation!

Caro, the kids and I are leaving for a combination business and vacation trip, including a week in Texas. We will be gone for six weeks. Take care, stay out of the heat and let the Lord lead you daily. :) Blessings...

Monkey see, monkey do...

Monkey see, monkey do... that's a phrase with which most of us are familiar. Some people call those we emulate 'role models.' There is no more important time to have good role models than in childhood.

In their early years, children imitate their parents or parent substitute figures. They quickly pick up their mannerisms, the way they walk, talk, etc. However, they also pick up 'bad' or inappropriate behaviors.

When we were kids, my friend, Matt, used to 'smoke' candy cigarettes. He would 'puff' them and hold them the same way he saw his father do the real things. As a teen, he started smoking the real things, and it was a difficult habit for him to break when he became a Christian. His father, in that instance, had been a poor role model.

I have known families where one or the other (sometimes both) the parents 'cheat,' that is, are unfaithful sexually to the mate. Children learn from this behavior that love is not trustworthy so is it any wonder a child may grown up unable to commit to another or unable to trust another or has a disrespect for their mate, resentment, even hatred.

There are many ways to be bad role models. I remember a family where every adult in the family was on some kind of public assistance, i.e., social security, SSI, unemployment, workmen's compensation. All their lives, they had been in homes where the parents had done the same thing. They learned early that one didn't always have to work for a living. I realize that some people really do need these benefits, but some don't. Some start applying at age 30 and it may take ten years to finally 'get' it. Some use an accident that injures one limb to get get benefits and never get educated to do a job that could be done without the use of that limb. A neighbor of my dad's used to help people get their benefits. He called himself a 'pettifogger,' one who helps scam the system.

[Pettifogger: 1 : a lawyer whose methods are petty, underhanded, or disreputable : SHYSTER]

If a person's physical ailments weren't that bad, he would coach them in mental illnesses, the symptoms, etc. Also, he would have them claim physical ailments difficult to disprove, i.e., headaches, back pain, muscle aches, etc. Often, the person would get the benefits based upon a 'combination' of illnesses. In the mental illness cases, after a while, he would send them to the local mental health clinic where they would practice their newfound symptoms and establish a public record of mental illness, and so it began. After they were 'crazy' long enough, they would win the coveted prize, a disability check. This sounds cynical, but it is true. People do these things. They give a 'bad name' to those truly deserving of help. What did this neighbor get? A percentage of the 'back pay.'

My father used to lease housing to many of these people. He called them 'tenants on the dole.' Sometimes, eight to ten SSI recipients would live in the same apartment. He would cash their checks for them, withholding the rent money. They made a killing... ten people x $517 a month (at the time) .. lots of money left over for beer and such.... lots of such.

Parents who are irresponsible, who malinger often raise malingering children. Children can be taught to NOT want to work as much as the reverse... by example.

Irresponsible parents can do much damage to their children. Children of untreated alcoholics, drug addicts, children of parents who 'act out' in rage or 'fainting' or other behaviors that get that out of their duties and responsibilities as parents teach their kids things they never imagined. If Susie sees Mommy lay in bed drunk or depressed, and the neighbors come by and feed them and clean house learn.... 'hmmmmm, if I don't want to clean my house or take care of the babies, I'll just do what Mommy did. Worked for her' They may not say the actual words, but they do the actual deeds for they have subconscious memories of the behaviors. If Bobby sees Daddy hit Mommy and get by with it, he later may do the same. 'I'll teach her a thing or two...' It's true the acorn does not fall far from the tree. Of couse, some kids do the opposite with much bitterness and resentment in their hearts toward the poor role models of parents. Either way, there is a damaged kid.

One can think of other examples, the mother who pops a pill or takes a drink at every 'calamity' sends a message to her kids... it says 'I can't cope without it.' Later, she wonders why her kids can't cope without it. A dad who's never home, works late (or something) all the time sends the message 'you kids aren't important enough to me to even come home.' When he gets older and could use some companionship from the kids, guess who doesn't care enough then?

Philippians 3:17 says "Brethren, be followers together of me, and mark them which walk so as ye have us for an ensample (example)"

There are usually two kinds of professing Christians --those who imitate the Saviour, and those who are worldly and vain and irresponsible. Our religion takes its form and complexion much from those with whom we associate; and he will usually be the most holy man who associates with the most holy companions. The most 'whole' parents bring up the most 'whole' children. It just makes sense.

Something to think about... we are responsible for the people over whom we have influence, especially our children and we will be held accountable for our actions, or lack of them. That's a sobering thought, isn't it? I think about it a lor for I am responsible for those in my 'flock' and those in my practice. We are responsible to set the best example of godly living we possibly can. We are not responsible for their behavior; they still have a free will to choose to follow our example or not. But if we do not give them the role model we should, we will be held accountable to God for our failure to be a good example. No amount of justification or rationalization excuses us from our responsibilities to be good role models. It's not correct to say 'I couldn't help it.' 99.9% of the time, one can 'help it.'


Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time.

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
A fornlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again. -- Henry W. Longfellow

We need to check those foot prints once in a while.

God's planning..

I'm often asked 'Does God have a plan for my life?' The answer is yes. Did he decide that you will work for Sears for 25 years and get a gold watch when you retire? Maybe not that specific a plan, but could be. However, I do know that he has 'general' plans for all of us, and I believe he has specific plans for us too.

Jeremiah 1:5 says "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations."

(Sanctification in the heart of a Christian is progressive. It consists of becoming more like God and less attached to the world; in getting the ascendancy over evil thoughts, and passions, and impure desires; and in becoming more and more weaned from earthly objects, and attached to those things which are unseen and eternal. The word also means to consecrate, to set apart to a holy office or purpose.)

If God knew Jeremiah before he was born, it follows he knew us all before we were born.

The same idea of foreknowledge is revealed in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, 1:3-4.

“Blessed be the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavens, as he chose us in him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and without blemish before him.”

God had these plans for man, for sure. He told us to “be fertile and multiply” (that was for a man and a woman). This is soon followed by the commandment "Fill the earth and subdue it". Gen 1:28. The earth is not yet filled and subdued. There are lots of resources and there is much unused land. Not many people will want to hear this, but we were ordered to be chaste, not to sleep around and especially not to sleep with same sex partners, animals, inlaws or have other perverted sexual relationships. Before we were to become fertile and multiply, we were to marry.. one marriage was the ideal. We were told to have children (if we marry and if we can physically), children to bless us, enrich us, children to carry on God's plans.

Of course, the most important of God's plans was his plan for salvation for us, through his Son, Jesus Christ.

We should plan our own lives around the commands of our Lord. A man who would build a ship or a plane or a building even without some kind of plan would be a foolish man indeed. Yet, so many people just flop around in life, no plan, not much thought even, buffeted by any 'wind of doctrine,' influenced by all manner of evil people, evil books, evil movies, etc, giving little or no thought to the poisoning of their own souls.

If you feel like you're driving through life without a road map, you need to seek guidance and allow the Holy Spirit to show you what the plan for your life is/should be.

First, You must start by Understanding that God's major plan for you - as it is for everyone - is to bring you to a saving relationship with Jesus and transform your character to reflect Jesus' love of God and people. If you make it your top priority in life to pursue that relationship with Jesus, you will find that everything else will flow from that.

Figure out your talents and skills and pray about them; ask God how He can use you and your talents. Yes, you have talents and skills.

Read the Bible, study, think on it, be alert for the leading of the Holy Spirit. Those who are 'called' have to listen. You don't hear God's call on MTV or even Fox News or on Desperate Housewives. :)

Keep your eyes on God, surrender your will to His, wait for His peace, wait for His timing and, finally, step out in faith. Don't throw away your life on useless living when you can be in the likeness of God! :)

Php 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." That's how one tells the difference in God's plans and our plans.

In my father's footsteps...

Last night, I watched 'The Lion King' for the umpteenth time with my children. I thought it a good lead in to discussion of 'Father's Day.' If you saw the movie, you may recall that Simba, the son of the King, Mufasa, was in a bit of trouble and the father was scolding him for his deliberate disobedience. As they walked along, Simba was walking in the footprints of his father. He noticed that his little paw did not fill even the space of one of his father's toes in the muddy footprints. It was a revelation to him and one he needed to have. He was not yet a 'man' and not yet 'king.' He had a lot yet to learn.

My own father was a bit of an enigma. Physically, he seemed like a giant when I was a kid, 6'7" and maybe 220 lbs., gruff, imposing. Mentally, he was cunning, sly, wiley and no one's fool. He was a competitive, aggressive, sometimes even obnoxious man. He played to win, always, but it was never 'play' to him. He was one of those Americans who came to this country and started out with nothing, made a million (and more) and never let you forget it. Yet, he treated my mother as if she were made of glass, protective, loving. He gave thousands to charities and churches .. not because he believed them or in them but because he believed in the possibilities for their children. He could shoot and butcher a deer without blinking an eye but carried a wounded baby bird in his pocket for 2 days to save it. I never saw a tear in his eye, but I saw many hands in his pockets over the years.

He treated me with a mixture of possessiveness, ownership, disdain and love. I never knew quite what to make of him. He was very strict but not abusive. I suspect I didn't fill his footsteps very well, at least now how he wanted them filled. I know I never grew out of his shadow, not quite. He was larger than life. In his last years, we finally were able to talk without 'fighting,' respect on both sides. We never did agree on the 'philosophies' of life but we agreed on everyone's pursuit of their own. We didn't agree on politics or religion, but we agreed on my mother and my children. We were able to find a 'middle ground,' big John and little John. I don't think we quite approved of each other, and I don't think he cared. I did care but not enough to sell my soul as he would say. He never respected a 'yes' man so I don't over worry about it now.

When thinking of my dad, I often think of this poem:

A Father's Footsteps

A boy is raised to follow his father's footsteps...
But a boy is small,
His father's feet are wide, his father's stride is long.
So a boy might run to keep up
Or he might stray and wander.
But, his steps will never strike the earth
Where his father's did.

Long ago I chose to wander.
Only as a man did I also stop
And look back at your foot steps.
Your's are wide, your stride long.
My steps have become wide and my stride long also.
Yet they are different paths.

My only wish is that at the end of my journey
I will be able to look across
And see that the peaks and summits on my trek
Were as high as your's
Even though on different mountains.

Grey Chisholm
22 July 1992

My dad has been been gone a couple years now, greatly missed, often remembered, sometimes wishing I knew more about the man, but there is no one left to tell, and I doubt anyone knew him well besides my mother anyway, and she is also gone and wouldn't tell me anything if she weren't. :) She never, ever criticized my father nor did she ever tell anything he didn't start first. Just the way they were. He left me his money, his property, even his 'looks.' I cannot look in the mirror and not see a part of him. Yet, he left me to be my own man. He advised and sometimes consented but he never demanded. I was, in many ways, a lucky son, except, as he often said, 'luck has not a damn thing to do with it.' :)

These days, I follow in my spiritual Father's footsteps or try to as best I can.. His steps are also wide and long and difficult to stay within, but not impossible.

Isaiah 64:8 "But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand."

To all the struggling dads out there, happy Father's Day.

What has God done for you lately?

Someone asked a question on another blog about how God works in a Christian's life. He said he just didn't 'get it.' This was a reply from Charles, 'our' Charles, aka Charles the C, or Just Call Me Charles. Sometimes, that boy just gets it right. :) I don't think he will mind my printing it here...

"E..., it's difficult to explain to a nonbeliever. Let's say, for ease of conversation, that we have different mindsets. We believe that all is done through the Lord, that we really accomplish nothing on our 'own.' We don't think you do either. :) What have you accomplished in life without any help at all, not from mother, father, friend, government workers, someone? How do you know that person was not 'sent' by the Lord to help you? Maybe you have accomplished something worthwhile totally on your own. I'm not so sure I have.

Genesis 2:18 "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him."

See, from the very beginning, God realized man would not make it alone. That's why he gave us women. :) P... is a woman who's trying to help you. Straighten up!

My answer to your question is that God works in our lives through other people, the way he most always works. Oh, sometimes, he will toss a tornado or blow a tsunami or get our attention in some spectacular way but, usually, he just quietly does it through his children.

Read the Bible E... If you do long enough, the Holy Spirit will come by and visit and you will 'get it.'"

I couldn't say it better.

In five minutes or less...

I feel a bit like Simon LeGree today as I punished the entire household for breaking the swimming pool rules. Swimming pools, especially residential pools, are very dangerous. Swimming pools are so dangerous in fact, that 300 children under age 5 die and 2,000 more children under age five visit hospital emergency rooms for submersion injuries every year!

Incidents involving children usually happen in familiar surroundings. Sixty-five percent of the incidents happened in a pool owned by the child's family and 33 percent of the incidents happened in a pool owned by friends or relatives.
Pool submersions involving children happen quickly. A child can drown in the time it takes to answer a phone. Seventy-seven percent of the victims had been missing from sight for 5 minutes or less.

Survival depends on rescuing the child quickly and restarting the breathing process, even while the child is still in the water. Seconds count in preventing death or brain damage.

Child drowning is a silent death. There's no splashing to alert anyone that the child is in trouble.

At the time of the incidents, most victims were being supervised by one or both parents. Forty-six percent of the victims were last seen in the house; 23 percent were last seen in the yard or on the porch or patio; and 31 percent were in or around the pool before the accident. In all, 69 percent of the children were not expected to be at or in the pool, yet they were found in the water.

We can never let our guard down, not for a minute. A child's life is just too precious. It's summer time.. be careful, be aware.

Happy Anniversary Lover

--the Backstreet Boys did this one...

Although loneliness has always been a friend of mine
I'm leaving my life in your hands
People say I'm crazy and that I am blind
Risking it all in a glance
How you got me blind is still a mystery (ain't that the truth? :)
I can't get you out of my head
Don't care what is written in you history
As long as you're here with me

I don't care who you are
Where you're from
What you did
As long as you love me
Who you are
Where you're from
Don't care what you did
As long as you love me

Every little thing
That you have said and done
Feels like it's deep within me
Doesn't really matter
If you're on the run
It seems like we're meant to be

I've tried to hide it so that no one knows
But I guess it shows
When you look in to my eyes
What you did and where you're comin from
I don't care, as long as you love me, baby. (exactly... I love you)

The agony of regret...

Regret is the sorrow or mourning over something that can NOT be repaired... too late to fix it, no way to mend it. What do you do with regret?

I counsel people all the time who say 'I wish,' 'I should have,' 'Why didn't I?' They made errors in judgement or errors in behavior that wounded another and they cannot make it 'right' again. Many of these were 'crimes' of passion. To hold someone's heart in your hands and then to betray that trust is a horrible thing, broken trust that often cannot be mended, depending on the extent of the betrayal. So what to do? Just forget and move on?

Not so easy to do if one has a conscience. There is, wrote Paul, a "worldly sorrow" that "brings death." A guilt that kills. A sorrow that's fatal. A venomous regret that's deadly. Some things cannot be forgotten. They must be dealt with.

To deal with regret, you need to to determine your guilt, where you went wrong. This is after you have determined there is nothing you can do to 'fix' things. After you determine the extent of your guilt, you need to repent. That means not just being sorry but changing your ways, with the help and grace of God.

Regardless of our pasts, we can again rejoice in God's grace but after repentence and whatever amends we can make. Of course, the best thing when possible is not to cause regret. Be honest in your dealings with others. Do not deceive, do not lie with a smile on your lips. Do not cheat your brother by robbing him of his money or his property or by breaking his heart. Hearts can be broken literally and figuratively. I will leave it to you to determine which hurts the most.

Are you suffering from regret? Choose today what you will do about it.

The moral of the story.....

"A Mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and is wife opening a package. "What food might this contain?" He was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning. "There Is a mousetrap in the house!; there is a mousetrap in the house!" The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it." The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house." The pig sympathized but said, "I am so very sorry Mr. Mouse, But there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured that you are in my prayers." The mouse turned to the cow. She said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you. But it's no skin off my nose."

So the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone. That very night a sound was heard throughout the house like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey. The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness she did not see that it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife.

The farmer rushed her to the hospital and she returned home with a fever. Now everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient. But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig. The farmer's wife did not get well. She died; And so many people came for her funeral the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.

So next time you hear that someone is facing a problem and think that it doesn't concern you, remember that when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk." -- Author Unknown

**
A moral of another story: childlike can be cute sometimes; childish rarely is.

**
If I'm boring you, go here:

What song was top on your birthday?

Challenge Darth Vader..need Flash

**
This is a question we asked each other in morning devotions. What say ye?

Which quality best describes your life--exciting, organised, dull--and why?

Memorial Day

We had a wonderful weekend, just family time really, although we did go to one Memorial Day Service and to church. The lasagna was great and the rice pudding too, one of my favorites. The weather was perfect, the wife was attentive. :) The kids behaved and had fun. Thank God for His blessings. So many people we talked to planned to party and/or drink the weekend away, not the original plans for the special day, I'm sure. In honor of our service men and women, here is a poem I like and wish to offer...


Dirge for a Soldier
by George H. Boker

Close his eyes; his work is done!
What to him is friend or foeman,
Rise of moon, or set of sun,
Hand of man, or kiss of woman?
Lay him low, lay him low,
In the clover or the snow!
What cares he? he can not know:
Lay him low!

As man may, he fought his fight,
Proved his truth by his endeavor;
Let him sleep in solemn night,
Sleep forever and forever.
Lay him low, lay him low,
In the clover or the snow!
What cares he? he can not know:
Lay him low!

Fold him in his country's stars,
Roll the drum and fire the volley!
What to him are all our wars,
What but death bemocking folly?
Lay him low, lay him low,
In the clover or the snow!
What cares he? he can not know:
Lay him low!

Leave him to God's watching eye,
Trust him to the hand that made him.
Mortal love weeps idly by:
God alone has power to aid him,
Lay him low, lay him low,
In the clover or the snow!
What cares he? he can not know:
Lay him low!