My wish for you...

Joel 3:18 "And it shall come to pass in that day, that the mountains shall drop down new wine, and the hills shall flow with milk, and all the rivers of Judah shall flow with waters, and a fountain shall come forth of the house of the LORD..."

The blessings Joel speaks of are regenerating. Although they begin anew every 'new moon,' they belong to time; the fullness of the blessing is completed only in eternity; the dawn is on earth, the everlasting brightness is in heaven. The imagery describes the fullness of spiritual blessings which God at all times diffuses in and through the Church; and these blessings, he says, shall continue on in her for ever; her enemies shall be cut off for ever. Every gift of God to His elect, except the beatific vision, is begun in time, union with Himself, indwelling, His Spirit flowing forth from Him into His creatures, His love, knowledge of Him, although here through a glass darkly.

May God bless you often and well in the new year, and may you, in return, worship and adore him and give him the honor, respect and obedience he deserves. After all, he made you and gave you life!

Carolyn, the children and I hope you have the best year ever. Onward with 2006!

My wife, the control freak...

I believe my wife is a control freak. I bought her 'The Sims 2' for Christmas, and she spends way too much time naming her Sims, clothing them, building and decorating their homes, naming their children and closely monitoring their social life. Oh, and she chooses their occupations.

I'm sure she is much more controlling than I am when I play Civ. I am the leader of my civilization, and I build my cities, roads, railroads, colonies, etc. and eventually I conquer all the remaining civilizations, killing them off if necessary, and claim the whole world as my own which takes a great deal of thought and planning. It's not control really, just perseverance.

I take comfort in knowing my wife will never be able to control me though. Now where are those scrubs she likes me to wear to bed?

So what did you get for Christmas?

It's Christmas Eve...

and all is well in our household, and my prayers for my friends and loved ones are that the babe in the manger who grew to be the Son of Man and then Savior to the world is in your heart and minds tonight and that he will bless your sleep and your Christmas day tomorrow.

I leave this poem with you...

A PRAYER FOR CHRISTMAS EVE

On this, the evening of Thy birth,
Waits with bated breath the whole wide earth.
We long to hear the angels sing
Of the coming of our Lord the King.
Not yet for Him the thorny crown;
Tonight the Son of Man comes down
To a world that kneels in boundless joy
With Mary, who aches to hold her Boy.
There was no room within the inn,
But in our hearts is space for Him.
Tonight there comes the Prince of Peace,
Who from death doth bring surcease.
Church bells now begin to knell;
Born the Babe, Emmanuel.
To Him our voices now we raise;
With angels sing our song of praise.
Our simple hymn is “Alleluia!”
We greet the birth of our Messiah.
Together we join the sing Him laud,
Born this morn the Son of God.

--Author Unknown

Weeping through the night...

A lot of time in my work days is spent talking to people in deep despair. Maybe she just found out her husband is cheating or, worse, gay. Maybe he lost his job of 30 years and feels too old to start over. Maybe a young man is contemplating suicide or a young girl is miserable because she thinks she's too fat. The list goes on and on, and the pains are as real as can be. I cannot fix everything, maybe not anything for I believe God does the 'fixing,' but I can listen and, in many cases, I can be a friend or a helper. It is not easy to convince those who are in such pain that the sun will rise again for no matter how dark the clouds, it always has. No matter how heavy the rain, somewhere there will be a rainbow peeping through.

We all will have trials in our lives, some more than others. Some trials are 'inherited,' i.e., begin with parents who destroy many avenues of happiness through drug abuse or alcoholism or impulsivity or just plain laziness or meanness. Many a child starts out nine strikes behind, and that's nine strikes too many. Some trials are brought about by our own foolishness or laziness. You can't expect to have a retirement income if you never save a dime. You won't get an education if you fail to study or don't show up for class. Your kids won't respect you if you are more buddy than parent. I'm sure you get the picture. You don't get a gold watch for not showing up for work. Free loading begets poverty in old age.

I've had some moments of despair. When my first wife died, and the doctors ripped my son from her dying body, I went nearly crazy with grief and anger, anger at the doctors and anger at God and whoever else got in the way. Yet, today, when my son laughs or runs or plays piano or just acts goofy, I feel sure that Maria is looking down from heaven and nodding her head, joyous that our boy is so normal and happy. The same Maria who refused pain medication in her dying weeks because she feared it would harm the baby is the woman who gave me the son I love so much today. I thank her and God daily. In their wisdom, I have joy even though I was so ungracious at the time.

Now, we have a new baby coming. Carolyn will lay another baby in my arms and, God willing, it and she will be healthy and strong. I would have told you that New Year's day nearly seven years ago that I would never smile again. And, I wasn't lying for smiling was the last thing on my mind or in my heart. I was a new Christian then and had no idea of the healing power or just the sheer love that God has for us. It's not that he has replaced Maria. No one can replace Maria. It's that he let me smile again. He lets my son smile. He lets me be part of a family again, and I am a family man.

After despair comes another feeling, another day, another opportunity. If we let it, faith will prevail over all the heartaches and trials that darken our lives. I know it is so, for it happened to me.

"Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5

Integrity..

We are spending the weekend with my wife's parents. My children got so excited, I almost had to wrestle them to get them calmed down for bedtime. I didn't have to wrestle Carolyn. She just fell in and went promptly to sleep. :) Here I am at the computer, wide awake. Guess who did the least work today?

I spent the better part of the evening with Carolyn's father, a man I deeply admire and respect. He's a farmer. He has a BIG farm. He is quiet spoken and speaks few words but when he does speak, it's worth hearing. He is a man of integrity, and I would trust him with my life. He's a Christian man, has been since his teens.

We talked some about integrity tonight. I told him the following story about a judge I read about in one of Charles Colson's books.

"In his book Loving God, Charles Colson draws attention to an incident involving an Indiana judge named William Bontrager. Bontrager had to pass sentence on Fred Palmer, a decorated Vietnam veteran who was found guilty of burglary. The crime was caused partly by involvement with drugs and alcohol. Indiana law required a sentence of ten to twenty years for Palmer’s offense. However, new regulations designating a lesser penalty had gone into effect eighteen days after Palmer’s arrest. To complicate matters, Palmer had become a Christian in jail and seemed to have changed. Should the judge sentence Palmer, a man who had never been in jail, to ten years or more? Or should he declare the older statute in violation of Indiana’s constitution and give him a lighter sentence? Bontrager did the latter. Fred Palmer was out of jail in seven months, had a job, and was paying back his former victims.

The events that followed received national attention. The Indiana Supreme Court reversed the judge’s decision and ordered Fred Palmer sent back to prison. The judge’s attempts to fight the court’s decision during the next two years led to his own indictment for criminal contempt of court and, finally, his forced resignation. Fred Palmer was sent back to prison, only to be released twenty months later by the governor. Bontrager’s convictions cost him his job, but not his integrity."

Mr. Murphy shared this poem with me. I like it and like to think I live such a life. There is nothing more important to a Christian than God-graced integrity, in my opinion.

Myself

I have to live with myself, and so
I want to be fit for myself to know,
I want to be able, as days go by,
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don’t want to stand, with the setting sun,
And hate myself for the things I’ve done.

I don’t want to keep on the closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself, as I come and go,
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of a man I really am;
I don’t want to dress up myself in sham.

I want to go out with my head erect,
I want to deserve all men’s respect;
But here in the struggle for fame and pelf
I want to be able to like myself.
I don’t want to look at myself and know
That I’m bluster and bluff and empty show.

I can never hide myself from me;
I see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself, and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.

Source unknown

"Those who love Your law have great peace, and nothing causes them to stumble." Psalm 119:165

1962 .. that long ago?

Today is my birthday. I was born in 1962 which makes me feel a bit old. That's the year of the Cuba Missle Crisis and the year that Pope John 23 excommunicated Fidel Castro. Jackie Kennedy gave a tour of the White House, and President Kennedy spoke at Yale. The Beatles produced their first record, and the Stones had their London debut.

Adolph Eichman was hanged in Israel, and the slippery slope began when prayer in public schools was declared unconstitutional. Moon River was song of the year, and a postage stamp cost only 4 cents.

Other important people were born in 1962, i.e., Jon Bon Jovi, Garth Brooks, Rosie O'Donnell, Tom Cruise, Wesley Snipes and Demi Moore. Marily Monroe died.

John Glenn orbited the earth; Johnny Carson took over the Tonight Show and pantyhose was sold for the first time in the USA.

My, how time has flown. :) Happy birthday to me...

Through it all...

Someone asked on my blog 'does the hurt ever go away?' It reminded me of this wonderful song:

Through it All

I've had many tears and sorrows,
I've had questions for tomorrow,
There've been times I didn't know right from wrong:
But in every situation, God gave blessed consolation
That my trials come to only make me strong.

Chorus:
Through it all, through it all,
I've learned to trust in Jesus,
I've learned to trust in God;
Through it all, through it all,
I've learned to depend upon His Word.

I've been to lots of places,
And I've seen a lot of faces,
There've been times I felt so all alone;
But in my lonely hours,
Yes, those precious lonely hours,
Jesus let me know that I was His own.

I thank God for the mountains,
And I thank Him for the valleys,
I thank Him for the storms
He brought me through;
For if I'd never had a problem
I wouldn't know that He could solve them,
I'd never know what faith in God could do.

Take your hurts to Jesus. The worst thing you can do is give in to bitterness and say 'It's too late. Too late to change. I've been injured and wronged, and it's too great for me to ever forget.' The person with this mind set thinks they are an exception to the forgiveness rule. There are no exceptions. We are commanded to forgive.

God holds out hope. When God makes a promise, there are no exceptions either.

Romans 8:31 "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

Godly sarcasm?

Does God ever get sarcastic with us? No.

Recently, a good friend accused me of insincerity, at best, or mockery as worst case scenario. I admit that I can be very sarcastic when angry or hurt. Even when I'm doing it, I know I shouldn't, but I get carried away with getting even or hurting back. The fact that I'm later sorry is no excuse, nor is the pain of whatever hurt me in the first place. I should have better control of my emotions or, actually, my temper. Just because someone digs me doesn't mean that I should retaliate (I says to myself). It has been a life-long shortcoming of mine that I give payback. You hurt me, and I'll hurt you back, but worse. A few of my friends know that and push my buttons anyway. Most don't. When the dust settles, I try to make amends, but we can't always, can we? Make amends, that is.

Because God knows exactly what is in our hearts, he never laughs at us mockingly. If we have evil in our hearts, he won't laugh, but he won't mock either. He has ways of dealing with the bad and the ugly that are appropriate. He doesn't need to taunt and mock and shame. God doesn't shrug his shoulders and walk away from us either. He won't cop out and say 'well, that's just me' or 'that's how I am' or all the excuses some of us use to explain our failures. Why is it so hard for us to admit when we are wrong? Back to God... He stays near as long as we are in communication with him.

God sympathizes with our weaknesses and forgives our sins. There are no secret struggles or silent pleas with God. He hears us, and he sees us, and he is as near as a prayer, always. If someone hurts you, shames you, uses or abuses you, you can take it to God and leave it there. If you do, I guarantee a healing of your spirit. That's how he is, and he is faithful and just.

Matthew 11:28 "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

Self-induced misery...

Have you ever talked to someone who had such a jaundiced view of life that you went away feeling a bit slimed? Some people can't look at the world unless it's through a veil of paranoia or distrust, so jaundiced they can't perceive that another might not have an ulterior motive, might not want in their pants, might not want to con/steal/scam, might not want to take something from them. Even if bad things happen sometimes, it's not always that it was planned.

I think there are good people in the world. By good, I don't mean sinless, for none of us are, but well-intentioned people, people who want to be right, do good, give happiness. I hope I'm one of them. I talk to so many of the others. They have no clue that most of their misery in their miserable lives is self induced.

Here is an excellent poem about a man's self-induced misery. Think of the carpenter who made Jesus' cross....

The old carpenter shuffled slowly to the park bench.
He placed his wooden tool box reverently on the ground.
He had to put his hand on the bench to support himself,
While he lowered his creaking frame down to sit.

He surveyed the area, hoping to find a friendly figure
With whom he could converse, to pass the time,
But it was late November, and the park was empty.
And so it should be, he thought, so it should be.

A crow, with shiny black feathers, landed on the bench.
It cocked its head, and looked up at the carpenter
With an expression that brought to mind the words,
Have you been here before?

Many, many times, the carpenter said to the crow,
Though his voice was silent as the long dead leaves
That were still scattered about the park's broad expanse.
I have been coming here since 'fore this place's time.

I am the carpenter. I am the one who built the Cross.
I am the one who watched on the mount as the man
They called Jesus was nailed to what I had built.
I am the one who helped Him down, and laid Him to rest.

My penance for carving out the wood, and making the cross,
Is to wander the world until such time as I find that
I can forgive myself for what I have done.
I have many more years to wander, I fear.

As the carpenter turned to gaze at the crow,
The bird gave a squawk, and flew off to seek less noisy things.
The carpenter looked again over the park, with eyes
That contained no joy, no light...only the pain of ages.

The old man slowly reached for his tool box.
He stood up, wincing at the pain it brought,
And shuffled down the park path towards places unknown.
The crow watched, with a coal black eye, from a barren tree.

© Copyright J. John 2005

Php 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

Blessed redemption...

The days are short now. It's 6:30 p.m. and already cold and dark outside. Another year is growing to a close. I am getting older (my birthday is in December), and my son will be seven, which seems impossible to me. Seems like yesterday that he was a two-pound preemie fighting for breath. Thank God for his blessings and saving power. On the bright side, Carolyn and Melina think I'm the best looking, strongest man alive (wink).

Our new baby moves in the womb, is healthy and is a girl! I am very excited about this baby, as I was about the other two, I guess to see how she will look, being part of both of me and Carolyn. Will she have reddish hair and dark eyes or my green eyes and Carolyn's dark hair? Hopefully, she won't have my long feet and will have Carolyn's beautiful smile. We are searching for name suggestions. We shall wait until she's born to choose one, I'm sure.

Back to my thoughts.. the year is growing to a close. I didn't get accomplished all I wanted to, but I accomplished a lot. Hopefully, there will be another year to work and worship and celebrate and many years after. But soon, Christmas will be here. The kids are excited. I am too. Christmas offers us a wonderful message. Emmanuel: God with us. He who is God was willing to come to earth. He breathed our air, walked our roads, knew our sorrows, shared our joys and died for our sins. He came to show us the way and take us unto himself. Oh, blessed redemption.