Such arrogance..

In 1969, in Pass Christian, Mississippi, a group of people were preparing to have a "hurricane party" in the face of a storm named Camille. Were they ignorant of the dangers? Could they have been overconfident? Did they let their egos and pride influence their decision? We'll never know.

What we do know is that the wind was howling outside the posh Richelieu Apartments when Police Chief Jerry Peralta pulled up sometime after dark. Facing the Beach less than 250 feet from the surf, the apartments were directly in the line of danger. A man with a drink in his hand came out to the second-floor balcony and waved. Peralta yelled up, "You all need to clear out of here as quickly as you can. The storm's getting worse." But as others joined the man on the balcony, they just laughed at Peralta's order to leave. "This is my land," one of them yelled back. "If you want me off, you'll have to arrest me."

Peralta didn't arrest anyone, but he wasn't able to persuade them to leave either. He wrote down the names of the next of kin of the twenty or so people who gathered there to party through the storm. They laughed as he took their names. They had been warned, but they had no intention of leaving.

It was 10:15 p.m. when the front wall of the storm came ashore. Scientists clocked Camille's wind speed at more than 205 miles-per-hour, the strongest on record. Raindrops hit with the force of bullets, and waves off the Gulf Coast crested between twenty-two and twenty-eight feet high.

News reports later showed that the worst damage came at the little settlement of motels, go-go bars, and gambling houses known as Pass Christian, Mississippi, where some twenty people were killed at a hurricane party in the Richelieu Apartments. Nothing was left of that three-story structure but the foundation; the only survivor was a five-year-old boy found clinging to a mattress the following day.

This story reminds me of the arrogance of George Bush. Today, we read in the newspaper that 100 plus Iraqis were killed with another 100 plus injured by a car bomb. The insurgents aren't after the U.S. troops anymore, wise decision, but are after Iraqis and their government. The situation just worsens.

The conservatives don't like to hear the name Viet Nam, but there are so many similarities, it is frightening. If America is able to get out with a bit of reputation left, what we barely did in Viet Nam, then good, but what will we have gained for our $150 billion and mounting? Look at Afganistan, reportedly the second to last country, that is the second worst, for human living conditions. Taliban or no Taliban, they aren't in good shape. I guess its' better to starve under a non-dictatorship, but but not much.

There seems to be no stopping Bush's arrogance. He plows ahead, and there seems to be no end in sight. In fact, the rumors are that he plans the same for Iran and then maybe Syria. How many ongoing wars can the U.S. afford at the expense of the American poor and uneducated children? Hopefully, in three years when his time is up, smarter heads will prevail. I hope so.

Serious stuff aside...

My wonderful dog Bemba .. .. is a proud father.. The mother is owned by a good friend of Caro's and has promised that we get the pick of the litter (see little blue eyes there?) and that's all I need .. another dog. The children, though, won't be discouraged. They are sure Da will give in. I didn't know Bemba still had it in him. lol He's getting pretty old. He's a beautiful dog though and has been around the world with me, including two trips, with quarantine on each end, to South America. Let's see if I can find some dog food coupons. :)

Who wants to live forever?

My buddy, Charles, has a current event forums, but we discuss everything under the sun there. It's a great place to shoot the breeze and keep up with the news. It's also a great place to make good friends, trustworthy friends. Check it out here...

One of the newer threads on the forum has the question: 'Would you want to live to be 1,000?' So far, one young lady has said 'yes,' if her sweetheart still lives and still loves her. Another said as long as he had 'no pain;' that's not likely to happen, eh? Others are not so sure.

I choose immortality, eternal life myself.

For many people, the ultimate goal is to live and never die. They want immortality. Some of the presumed loftier types put it another way. Woody Allen said he wants to achieve immortality through his work. In many television fiction shows, such as in 'Highlanders,' immortality is offered, but only to some, some live and some can be killed. Other shows show immortality as a curse, such as in 'Pirates of the Caribbean' where, as a curse, a bunch of pirates are made to live forever but without feeling and without doing many of the things we normally, such as eat! Then we have 'Arwen' the elf. :) In 'Lord of the Rings,' she comes to view immortality as a curse because she has to outlast her husband, family and everyone she knows.

Maybe living forever wouldn't be the greatest thing, you think?

The ancient Greeks believed in the immortality of the soul, i.e., the body dies, but the soul lives forever. Hindus believe likewise but they are condemned to be reincarnated over and over again until some kind of perfection is attained between the universe and/or a god. At least that's my understanding of it.

For me, a Christian, I ask myself, 'what's the score?' I can’t even prove that a person has a soul, never mind prove what happens or doesn’t happen to it after death. Did we lose our chance for eternal life because of what Adam and Eve did in Eden? It appears immortality was a sin, else why was God angry that they sought it? The punishment for seeking immortality was death. They were thrown out of Eden and cursed with death.

That's not the end of the story for the Christian, not according to the Bible. We are once again offered immortality, God's way of removing the 'curse.' We may be resurrected. Again, that can be good or bad, for we are resurrected to face the judgement. The righteous will live; the unrighteous will die the spiritual death.

NonChristians won't believe a word of it, but the Bible says it's true, which is my 'proof.' I see nothing to believe that the words in the Bible are not true. There's no other 'book,' no other 'proof,' any better and many 'sources' are a lot worse. Anyhow, it's all a matter of faith. You can believe in the words of God in the Bible or believe in a stone or a patch of grass or whatever you wish. I choose to believe what makes sense to me (and many millions of others, now and before).

So, we will all be resurrected as the Bible says. The final act of being completely righteous will have to await that final resurrection, but the decisions we make now will determine what happens then. We have the option to accept forgiveness, to allow God to work in our lives to make us righteous, to choose to live a life devoted to God and if that is the case then we can enjoy immortality and creation the way God intended it to be. Life eternal with God and without sin, paradise. Life after, life after death. The choice is ours. I hope you will think about it.. seriously. Eternity is weighed in the balance.

Doomsday or bust..

We are always trying to improve ourselves, aren't we, and what is wrong with that you ask? The goal to improve the human condition is now being stretched beyond what previous generations could have imagined. We will pay almost anything to keep from aging and to look younger, fitter, buffer. We want to stay strong and free of disease forever, no matter the cost, and the cost is very high.

The cost of a fitness machine is astronomical. I, myself, boast of being a Bowflex man. Botox injections, wow and genetic manipulation, who knows the cost of that in the future?

So far, it's mostly amusing, but we must now face the undeniable truth that at least some of our fellow citizens are ready to use genetic enhancements, cloning technologies, and germ line engineering to achieve what some now call a post-human future. All plastic surgery and even sex-change operations will pale in comparison.

"What if a father could insert a gene to transform his daughter into the concert pianist he always wanted to be, or an atheist do likewise to ensure that his children would be genetically predisposed (if it proves possible) to shun religious belief?" Wesley Smith asks in Consumer's Guide to a Brave New World, adding, "And what if these modifications passed down the generations?" Is that playing God or becoming a god?

Remember the movement to limit childbirth to those 'fit to breed?' Their motto was "more children from the fit, less from the unfit." Smith further explains that "inserting animal DNA into human embryos, inserting or removing chromosomes, inserting artificial chromosomes into a genetically engineered embryo, or perhaps altering human capacities through nanotechnology" may become commonplace in the search for the perfect human or 'new human.'

Will we one day choose children as we now choose pets? Will we breed them like dogs and choose the best of the litter?

What is going on. Are we so dissatisfied with the human condition that we will experiment with anything? Or, are we angry with God because he said 'from dust to dust?' Perhaps we even aspire to becoming gods ourselves.

I believe that this is the ultimate sin. Cast out of Eden, human beings have been frustrated with the limitations of our nature. The first sin was an attempt to defy God's authority by wanting forbidden knowledge. Since then, we have had a legacy of continuing efforts to rise above the human condition and, by doing so, we do even greater sin. We are not about God's business. Psalm 10:4 "The wicked, through the pride of his countenance, will not seek after God: God is not in all his thoughts." I believe we shall rue the day we took the powers of creation into our own hands. When a germ or a microbe or a mutation goes free and forever changes the human condition or destroys it, we shall cry out to God for mercy, but it will be too late. As 1John 2:16 says "For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world."

Some will say 'Oh John, you are a doomsdayer, just a preacher, what do you know?' I do not know much, but I know enough not to meddle with the unknown, that so dangerous as to destroy the world. It takes a special kind of coldness and arrogance to proceed with such research when the fate of mankind hangs in the balance. As for me, I will hold my babies close to my chest, protect my family as best I can, love my fellow man and my God and pray for salvation for me, mine and you. What else can I do?

It's Heresy

Found this news item today:

Clergy who deny doctrine may face trial for heresy
By Jonathan Petre, Religion Correspondent
(Filed: 15/02/2005)

Clergy who deny the existence of God and other key doctrines could soon face heresy trials in the Church of England.

Proposals to set up tribunals to try doctrinal cases were rejected by the Synod last year but the House of Laity overwhelmingly voted yesterday to reintroduce them.

Members of the House, who were meeting before the full Synod began, criticised liberal clergy for diluting traditional teaching, though one said that they did not propose burning heretics at the stake.

The House of Bishops has independently agreed to reintroduce the proposals, which were defeated by a narrow margin last July after clergy expressed fears that they would be victims of a witchhunt.

Margaret Brown, a lay member from the Chichester diocese, said yesterday that the original proposals had been thrown out partly because they had tried to deal with broad issues such as clergy wearing the incorrect vestments.

"It is far, far worse if we have a clergyman or clergywoman in the pulpit and they are preaching heresy and do not believe in the tenets of the faith, the Virgin Birth, the bodily resurrection of Christ and all the other tenets of the faith," she said.

"What is faith if we do not preach Christ crucified, Christ risen, Christ glorified? We will not get very far in winning souls for Christ, which is what we should be doing all the time.

"Let us make sure the liberals really do preach the word of God."

I'm glad to see it for I'm sick and tired of a watered-down gospel, so watered down that a real Christian won't recognize it. Fact is, if you truly believe in God, the the one true God, not the little man-made gods, you obey him, serve him, worship him (somewhere .. no church, then it's not God you worship, it's something else. God sent His Son for the church he set up. That's the real gospel), obey his commandments, and you endure to the end. He's not a God you can avoid six days a week, or lie to, or pretend to believe, or tell people you believe but you do nothing for, with or about him. He's not a convenient blip on your life register. He is your Lord, your king, your all in all. Or, He should be. If He isn't, you have nothing.

So-called friends and hypocrites

Have you ever made a mistake when you thought someone was your friend, having your best interest at heart, but they weren't and they didn't? So have I and recently too. It can be true that your 'so called friend' is a hypocrite.

I read a list of 30 'signs' of hypocrisy on an Islam web site recently. This one rang very true for me. "Rejoicing at the affliction of others with a calamity and being saddened at their being touched by joy and pleasure." In our struggles the last few months, Caro and I have been hurt several times by people being 'happy' because we have had problems and people being 'sad' when things go right for us. Even more difficult to accept, the 'so called friend' hoping things do not work out, discouraging us. It's a hard thing to accept when your 'so called friends' betray you.

People throw around the word hypocrite a lot, and it is especially thrown at Christians. If a Christian makes a mistake, or even sins, he is called a hypocrite. A hypocrite is someone who gives a 'false' appearance of virtue or religion. It's not just that he sins or makes a mistake, he has to do it intentionally to be a hypocrite. Motive is the determinant. So if the Christian is trying to live a good life and makes a mistake, he is not a hypocrite. He's just the common-variety sinner, the same as nonChristians who make mistakes. The 'so called friend' who does hurt you intentionally IS a hypocrite. He smiles while he stabs you in the back with the dagger.

Throughout history, few behaviors have been condemned more often and more soundly than hypocrisy. Almost 3,000 years ago, Homer wrote, "I detest that man, who hides one thing in the depths of his heart, and speaks forth another." In the sixth century B.C., Lao-tzu said, "To pretend to know when you do not know is a disease." In the fifth century B.C., Confucius said, "Hold faithfulness and sincerity as first principles," and "[The superior man] speaks according to his actions."
There seems to be little Jesus of Nazareth hated as much as hypocrisy; he condemned it more than anything else. Jesus also claims that hypocrites "have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness" (Matthew 23:23).

The true hypocrite is the one who ceases to perceive his deception, the one who lies with sincerity. May God spare me from this kind. I have forgotten where I wanted to go with this post. I'll just end with: 'I know who you are.' :)

Creating Monsters

Now that man has the ability to
create monsters, it is only a matter of time before he indulges himself.

A report in the National Geographic News for Jan. 25 was titled "Animal-Human Hybrids Spark Controversy." These hybrids are called chimeras after a monster in Greek mythology that had a lion's head, a goat's body, and a serpent's tail.

In 2003, scientists in Shanghai successfully fused human cells with rabbit eggs, "reportedly the first human-animal chimeras successfully created." In 2004, scientists at the Mayo Clinic created pigs with human blood. Irv Weissman, a Stanford University scientist, has tentative plans to create mice with human brains. Weissman does not believe people should put "their own moral guidance in the way of this biomedical science," but we disagree. Man has no authority to tamper with human
and animal life by creating hybrids; he simply doesn't know what he is doing.

Man is made in the image of God, and where does the human soul fit into these weird plans? Scientists such as Weissman claim they only want to help mankind by finding new cures for diseases and such and that they have no intention of creating monsters, and this is probably true; but there are others who will gladly pursue such a goal. Man has demonstrated repeatedly and irrefutably that he is capable of every evil monstrosity. (Canada is the only country that currently outlaws chimeras.)

What do you think? Should the USA outlaw 'chimeras?' Does the possible 'bad' outweigh the possible 'good?' What about aborting a chimera? Is it true that where's there life, there is always hope?

Secret Places

Isa 45:3 " And I will give thee the treasures of darkness, and hidden riches of secret places, that thou mayest know that I, the LORD, which call thee by thy name, am the God of Israel."

Tsunami Uncovers Underwater Ancient City

MAHABALIPURAM, India (Feb. 18) - Archaeologists have begun underwater excavations of what is believed to be an ancient city and parts of a temple uncovered by the tsunami off the coast of a centuries-old pilgrimage town.

Three rocky structures with elaborate carvings of animals have emerged near the coastal town of Mahabalipuram, which was battered by the Dec. 26 tsunami.

As the waves receded, the force of the water removed sand deposits that had covered the structures, which appear to belong to a port city built in the seventh century, said T. Satyamurthy, a senior archaeologist with the Archaeological Survey of India.

Mahabalipuram is already well known for its ancient, intricately carved shore temples that have been declared a World Heritage site and are visited each year by thousands of Hindu pilgrims and tourists. According to descriptions by early British travel writers, the area was also home to seven pagodas, six of which were submerged by the sea.

The government-run archaeological society and navy divers began underwater excavations of the area on Thursday.

"The tsunami has exposed a bas relief which appears to be part of a temple wall or a portion of the ancient port city. Our excavations will throw more light on these," Satyamurthy told The Associated Press by telephone from Madras, the capital of Tamil Nadu state.

The six-foot rocky structures that have emerged in Mahabalipuram, 30 miles south of Madras, include an elaborately carved head of an elephant and a horse in flight. Above the elephant's head is a small square-shaped niche with a carved statue of a deity. Another structure uncovered by the tsunami has a reclining lion sculpted on it.

According to archaeologists, lions, elephants and peacocks were commonly used to decorate walls and temples during the Pallava period in the seventh and eighth centuries.

Reasonable Service

A pastor friend of mine and I were talking about Christian service. He said 'reasonable service' sure has changed, hasn't it?' He finds it more and more difficult to find people to fill the roles of deacon, teacher, etc. in his congregation. No one seems to have 'time.'

Christians of yore devoted all day Sunday to the Lord and much of the rest of the week as well as their tithes and offerings and works of 'charity.' Today we weigh up what we can afford to give Him. In those days, they knew that they could not afford to give Him less than all they could. Now, some Christians consider themselves good folk if they go to church on Easter and throw a little money in the pot at Christmas time.

What is 'reasonable service' anyway? I am asking Christians. There are no guidelines for many religions, especially the man-created god worship that goes on among many peoples. Romans 12:1 says "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service." Wow.. our bodies. I'm not sure exactly what that means, but I suspect it means more than an hour a month. God is calling. In His revolution for the sake of His great kingdom, He's calling for men and women who are willing to devote to His kingdom, not just their leftover evenings, not just the few hours they think they can spare but the whole of their lives, but more, enough to make a difference.

How much service to you give? Do you pray, have devotions, teach your children the bible, support a local church, volunteer services for the poor, attend worship services, support your pastor and other leaders, more? less?

As the beautiful hymn goes,

"Were the whole realm of nature mine,
that were a present far too small.
Love so amazing, so divine,
demands my soul, my life, my all."

That would truly be reasonable service in light of what the Lord has done for me.

Our tricky emotions...

I have so much on my mind tonight that I don't know where to start, so I'll start with 'I miss you Caro' since she is in Davenport tonight, 3 hours away by auto and 1 phone call or email. :)

I have received lots and lots of emails about my blog entries on David and Bathsheba, many divided down religious lines, i.e., bible lovers and not. Some of the more interesting questions have to do with women and their emotions... did Bathsheba hate David or come to love him?, how did the death of her first child with David affect her?, etc. Some women seem to object to thinking that their emotions come into play moreso than men, whereas I see that as one of the sweetest feminine traits.

I had to do a lot of research on the differences in males and females at birth, i.e., genetics, to get my doctorate. One of the more interesting avenues of research centered round the sensitivity of girls vs. boys. Here's an excerpt: At a few hours old girls are more sensitive than boys to touch. Tests between the sexes of tactile sensitivity in the hands and fingers produce differences so striking that sometimes male and female scores do not even overlap, the most sensitive boy feeling less than the least sensitive girl. When it comes to sound, infant females are much less tolerant - one researcher believes that they may "hear" noises as being twice as loud as do males. Baby girls become irritated and anxious about noise, pain or discomfort more readily that baby boys.

Baby girls are more easily comforted by soothing words and singing. Even before they can understand language, girls seem to be better than boys at identifying the emotional content of speech. From the outset of life, girl babies show a greater interest in communicating with other people. One study involves babies of only 2-4 days old. It shows that girls spend almost twice as long maintaining eye contact with a silent adult, and girls also look longer than boys when the adult is talking. The boys' attention span was the same, whether the adult was talking or not - showing a relative bias towards what they could see, rather than what they could hear. From the cradle, baby girls like to gurgle at humans. Most boys are just as talkative, but are equally happy to jabber away at cot toys or looking at abstract geometric designs. Boys are more active and wakeful than girls - the male-wired brain of activity at work.


The female bias towards the personal shows itself in other ways. At four months, most baby girls can distinguish photographs of people they know from photographs of strangers; baby boys cannot."

Do you think women think more with their hearts than their heads? More so or less so than men? Do you deny any gender differences? If you agree there are gender differences, would you prefer their not be any? If you could have been born of the opposite gender, would you have wanted to be?

Tradition! .. tradition

One of my blogging buddies said she's glad the 'June Cleaver' days are gone forever, that she doesn't like 'roles' in marriage. Being a traditional kind of guy, I wonder how that works? Does each one cook for him/herself, each does their own laundry, what? Are these things gradually worked out, over the years? What happens if no one wants to clean the bathroom?

Like the 'hero' in 'Fiddler on the Roof,' I like tradition. I, my wife and the kids each has a role to play, not in a strict sense, but in a general sense. We 'overlap' once in a while but not often. It would be most unsettling. :) Perhaps I'm too set in my ways. I wonder what my wife would do if, say tomorrow, I just decided not to work?

Mea Culpa

An old friend from seminary has asked for counsel and prayer. As my Melina would say, 'he did a bad thing.' He cheated on his wife, committed adultery with a deacon's wife, broke up their marriage, and now he has remarried .. to the deacon's wife. There are children from both marriages, hurt children. Where to begin?

..For some reason, I am reminded of David and Bathsheba. For those not that familiar with the bible story, David was lurking around the castle one day (he should have been in battle with his men). He glanced down and saw a woman bathing naked on a roof top (not her fault ... from all indications, she was in her own quarters). David sends for her (she could not refuse; he was king) and lies with her. Having no RU-486 in those days, she got pregnant and sent word to David. Uh oh... He, as men will often do, tried to cover it up. When Bathsheba's husband returned from battle (the battle David didn't go to), David told him to go home and rest with his wife, hoping the husband would lie with his wife and would then think the child to be born was his. The man did not do so but rather, like the good soldier and faithful servant to the king that he was, stuck around the camp to be sure things went well after the battle. The cover-up having failed, David had the man killed (long, convoluted story) and then took Bathsheba as his own wife (after the appropriate mourning time). David figured he was safe. No one who had a clue as to what really went down would dare say anything anyway.

He did not account for one thing. God knew, and God was not happy. Things did not go well. The child died. Rumors swirled. David's sin eventually became known. David was doomed, or was he?

When confronted with his sin, David said "I have sinned against the LORD." (2 Samuel 12:13a). This was an important defining moment in David’s life. He confessed his sin, and was prepared to accept his punishment of death. He didn't make excuses, didn't blame Bathsheba, pressures, stress of war, etc. Instead, he confessed and repented. God showed His grace by forgiving David, and allowing him to live. For the rest of his days, when David opened his eyes in the morning, he knew that he was alive for one reason and one reason only: the sheer grace of God.

What I have to impart to my friend, somehow, is that he must confess and repent. He has tried covering up, lying, etc., just as David did. Genuine repentance brings forgiveness, restoration and healing, and the end result of that cycle is action. David committed himself to serving God with his restored life, and leading other needy people to Him. It is not the "sacrifice" of labor that produces favor with God; it is favor with God, through honest repentance, that produces a willing servant.

It IS possible to get a fresh start, no matter how grevious the sin. I do believe that it is God’s agenda not to crush sinners under his feet, but to heal them and restore their relationship with Him. Perhaps, then, the children and other grieved parties may too be healed.

Men and Women ;)

My friend, Charles, just did a suicidal entry on his blog. lol It did, however, get me to thinking about men and women (not men vs. women), specifically marriage.

As in most things, I view marriage through the 'eyes' of the bible, the word of God. I do not think God’s intent in marriage was tyranny. It's not about how much power one can exert over the other. Marriage should be a model of love, service, and grace that weave together to make a circle so strong that it can’t be broken. If the tradition is not built upon that foundation, then it will crumble. Within that circle is all kinds of room for love of children, home, all kinds of things, but the man and woman make the circle. To me, marriage is 'one-ness,' when two people give up their individual selves and merge into one couple. Each still has a personality, of course, but selfishness should give way to caring. My opinion, of course.

There are as many kind of 'couples,' many ways men and women are attracted to each other. It is, though, quite complicated, isn't it? If I had to admit it, I like a particular 'type' of woman. A particular type in looks and actions. It's how I'm wired, I guess.

Not MY job!

I have a wife, a housekeeper and a nanny so why am I working my butt off in this huge house? My wife had moved out but is currently moving back in. There are boxes everywhere and girly things I never knew what to do with in the first place. It seems the boxes multiply. I suspect she unpacks things from one box and puts them in another because she can't decide herself where they should go or because she thinks it's easier for me to carry 1,000 boxes than 100.

She is afraid to go to the attic. It's dark up there and there might be spiders, and isn't that the man's job.... going into attics, killing spiders, moving innumerable boxes? :) So the boxes-to-go-into-the-attic line is growing and growing. No, I'm not afraid of going into the attic myself. That's what extra large flash lights are for and why I sent the exterminator guy up there to replace all light bulbs a long time ago.

We all are supposed to 'pick up' for ourselves. It's not fair that the wife has to clean after everyone, and I hate hearing the 'that's not fair' line. The kids do a pretty good job, probably because I can carry out my spanking threats to them. The housekeeper does OK most of the time. After all, she is the housekeeper. However, she refuses to pick up after the nanny. She figures the nanny is just an employee like she is and can pick up after herself and the kids. That's what she gets paid for, right? I do not know how much I pay the housekeeper for figuring out what clothes belong to whom, who left that tea cup unwashed, who spilled crumbs on the floor and who is drinking straight out of the milk carton. She mumbles endlessly, 'who didn't wash the spoon' or some such thing. I probably pay as much for the mumbling as I pay her for what she actually does. I continue to pay though. Good help is hard to find.

The nanny speaks very little English. This was by design for I wish my kids to continue to be bilingual, at least. Actually, they speak English, Spanish and Portuguese. The nanny speaks Guatemalian Spanish as in ghetto spanish. I alone seem to totally understand her, but I'm at work a lot of the time, and there is no interpreter except for me. This leaves her with the wife, the housekeeper and the kids much of the time. If she does not want to 'pick up,' she doesn't and none of them understand her when she says 'not my job' or 'Dr. M. doesn't pay me enough to do that,' whatever. The kids not only speak great Spanish, but they have learned many new Spanish phrases for 'I don't know,' 'don't care,' or 'it will never happen in this life time.'

Last, but definitely not least, we have five dogs. Everyone knows it's the man's job to take care of the dogs' outside needs. But inside? Who lets them in anyway? How difficult is it to get the dog groomer and brush them before they sleep on my favorite chair? Oh, I forgot. 'Not MY job.'

It's a good thing I'm the man of the house and take care of things.

Jetsom and flotsom

Four hours a week, I practice at a public mental health clinic. The place is always hopping, as one of the substance abuse counselors says. There is one psychiatrist who does mostly medication reviews, one clinical psychologist, being me, several counselors who do individual or group therapy, several substance abuse counselors and a couple nurses and office staff, a heirarchy of sorts with each of us having our little turf and responsibilities.

A lot of my time there is spent giving and evaluating psychological tests, usually court ordered procedures on first-time criminal offenders but a few others also. These tests will often help determine whether the offender goes to jail or gets some lesser punishment called 'diversionary' intervention. Some of these people realize the importance of cooperation, some don't and some don't care one way or another. This work is quite different from my private practice. The 'patients' are often poor, very mentally ill and very angry. Some of them are a lot of fun. I feel sort of bad saying that but, nonetheless, it is true.

Today, I met a man who got drunk and drove down the streets of a small town, shooting out street lights. He vaguely remembers having fun doing it. When the sheriff caught up with him, he tried to run him over with his pick up truck. Not a wise thing to do, drunk or sober. He's an alcoholic, but he's smart, and that can be an interesting combination. One of the tests has the culprit, I mean patient, give the meaning of words, a vocabulary test, sort of. One of the words is 'fortitude.' He answered ... 'fortitude, that's what I'm running out of doing this damn test.' lol

The psychiatrist says the clinic handles the 'jetsom and flotsom' of life. Perhaps so, but still, people needing help. In my mind, I take these people home with me and worry and ponder over their 'cases' a lot. People can get themselves into some messes. I cannot, as a 'public' servant get into religion with them at all, but I can still care and pray.

Step into the water...

My son loves the story of Moses leading the chosen people to the promised land, especially the part about the parting of the Red Sea. When he was very young, he liked to dress up and be 'Pharoah,' only occasionally choosing to be Moses who he saw as an 'old man.' :) With his helmut and his sword, he rushed into the waters of the Red Sea which came together over his head and killed him and his soldiers. Pharoah's dying did not seem to bother my son much. He enjoyed the bravado of taking on the Sea, or he enjoyed the 'chase' or he just enjoyed the costume. I don't know. As much as he loved to play the story though, he got it wrong.

God, as He often does, required Moses and the people to do something before the big rescue. He told them what to do, how to go about it and, the fact is, they had to enter the waters first, before Pharoah. They had to take the first step.

Ex 14:29 "But the children of Israel walked upon dry land in the
midst of the sea; and the waters were a wall unto them on their right hand, and on their left."

Can you imagine? Talk about leaving your comfort zone? :) The movie 'The Ten Commandments' made it look very exciting. I understand the Red Sea, in the movie, was actually two huge glass cages of green jello stirred up into foam with fans at the bottom of the cages.

But, back to the real story. God required the people to take a 'leap of faith' as some Christians like to call it. Step into the waters... What fear must have been in their hearts. The courage and faith of Moses must be told in another story some day.

Today, we attended church as a family again for the first time in a long time. This is the church I am thinking of joining, if Caro is happy there. .. http://www.fbcdsm.org/ .. We are fairly well known in Des Moines, for I have done evangelistic services all over Iowa for several years. When we separated, it became a public affair for several reasons, not that we wanted it that way. Ministers are often public figures. So, reconciliation has to be a public affair also. That's how it works. It was with some trepidation that we approached that church this morning. We prayed for God to help us. He did. First, we had to take the steps into the building. :) The 'red sea' of people parted, and we found some seats about half way down the sanctuary. It was a long walk. Let's say, I have a greater appreciation for Moses and his bunch. The service was great, the people gracious. Caro sat very close to me, and I don't know who was protecting whom. :) The children, thank God, had no idea anything was difficult. And, we made it through the sea, to the other side. God is good.

A touch of white lace...

Today was our first day together as a family since Caro and I separated some months ago. As I went to pick her up, I wondered if she felt awkward, felt that she was 'on trial' and wondered how I could ease the situation. I prayed that God would help us all, for it has been a most difficult few months. The day, in fact, turned out very well. The children were happier and more 'accepting' than I could have hoped for, and she seemed genuinely pleased to be with us all. As for me, I remembered a poem I wrote a few years ago, before I met Caro. It was appropriate for how I was feeling. Her perfume is Shalimar, and I have missed her.

Undone
-- JWM

The warrior surveyed the size of his realm,
Swaggering forth
Head protected by helm.

A glint in his eye, clear vision, could see.
Swaggering forth
The conqueror was he.

His heart now racing, breathing was fast
Swaggering forth
Thinking victory at last!

Great was his smile, gloating look on his face
Swaggering forth
To finish the race.

Unaware of the danger, he met a fair maid.
Swaggering forth
A great price he then paid.

She lowered eyelashes, smiled gently and then
Gracefully passing
Looked closely at him.

He fell to his knees, yes fell on his face
Undone by perfume
And a glimpse of white lace.

Ever so carefully..

I counsel a young woman who presented several months ago with symptoms of insomnia and what she describes as panic 'attacks.' She is fearful of leaving her home. She takes medication before she comes to visit my office, precisely 1/2 of .5 mg. of Klonopin, a very low dose of antianxiety medication.

At her first visit, I indicated she should choose a chair (one of three), and she chose the one farthest from my desk. It's like talking across a great divide. If I move my office chair (the kind with rolling wheels), nearer to her, she fidgits until I return to my allotted space. I must be oh so careful. It is like approaching a feral cat. She is always poised to run.

She always seems frightened. If I raise my voice, she tightens up as if ready to spring. If I lower it, she inclines her head ever so slightly to hear but never asks me to raise it. In the beginning, she seemed so uncomfortable, I asked her if she would prefer a female therapist. 'No,' she said, eying me as if I were a snake ready to strike. 'You're sure?' I asked. She nodded her head. Frowned. Waited.

Week after week, I have tried to make a dent in her armour. If ever a man needed prayer as to the direction to take next, it is I. I have barely scratched the surface of her background and have no clue what has traumatized her so, be it father, stranger, old boyfriend, act of God or just bad karma.

She is a plain-looking woman although I suspect she could be attractive if she weren't so diligent in seeking mediocrity. Her only adornment is a small friendship ring on her right hand, one she twirls when anxious. She dresses in creams, beiges and browns.. always. Sensible shoes. Her only 'vantiy' is her long dark hair, shiny and neat. It is difficult sometimes to remember what her face looks like for she keeps her head down most of the time.

Until today, I doubted she had a sense of humor. Near the end of the session, she said 'you are something, Dr. Ph.D.' I was stunned. She actually cracked a joke (or was it an insult? .. I'm not sure yet), and she smiled. I felt like I had won the lottery, the smile stunned me so.

Whatever has frightened her, paralyzed her is in there somewhere, and I intend to find it and deal with it. We will deal with it. She rewarded my patience today. What a break through. :) Dr. Ph.D. will try another day. Never mind that she walked half way round my office to avoid getting near me when she left. She did give me a tiny wave goodbye.


Rom. 8:25 "But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it."

Appearances

Appearances can be deceiving. My son is very tall for his age. So am I. :) Yesterday, after soccer practice, he ran up to me, crying. He had fallen and skinned his knees. I picked him up to comfort him, and his legs, as usual, hung down to my knees and beyond. Hugging him, I noticed one of the other 'soccer dads' looking as though I were unnecessarily coddling the boy and gave him an appropriate dirty look. See my son's face...... the face of a baby. He just turned six years old (his hair is over moussed on purpose, he was playing with the stuff), and he is still a child. He may look 12, but he is only six.

We may be the same in God's eyes. Though we look mature, we may be so new at the practicing of our faith that it is plain we are immature. We start out on 'milk' and have a way to go before we can eat 'meat,' that is be strong in our faith. Along the way, we might stumble and need a little comfort. Like my son's father, my Father is tall enough, strong enough to do the job.

We need to have patience with each other, love each other, not be so judgemental. A little hug can go a long way in life, and appearances can be deceiving.

No peace of mind..

Job 15:21 "A dreadful sound is in his ears: in prosperity the destroyer shall come upon him. "

There is a story that goes about the hospital about a man who committed a crime in his youth, a 'white collar' crime. He was never caught. Some twenty years later, when he was in his late 50's, he began to worry that his crime might become known, and he would be punished. By this time, his health was only fair, and he did not believe he could survive such a catastrophe. Could it be possible the police were still investigating? Would he be discovered, his reputation ruined, his savings depleted. He began to worry, day and night and could find no peace. Every siren, every police car going by would cause his heart to race, his mouth to turn dry. He would think of handcuffs and closed jail doors and begin to panic, sweat pouring down his face. The worry went on for years, and he found no peace within or without. He knew the best thing to do was to give himself up and let happen what would happen, but he could not. He was overcome with fear.

His worst fears never happened. He was not caught and did not give himself up and was not punished. Or was he?

Job 15:21 points out that an evil conscience conceives alarm at every sudden sound, though it be in a time of peace ("prosperity"), when there is no real danger. The jail and handcuffs made by his own mind were stronger than steel and bound him just as securely as the toughest chains.

Living a lie, pretending to be righteous when one is without remorse can be a terrible sentence to serve, relentless and harsh. There is nothing unknown to the almighty. It is best to come before the Lord and before eternity with a clean heart. If you say to yourself 'who's going to know?' think about it.

So Long Ago

Before becoming a Christian, I was a student for too many years, studying music, the piano specificially. I was born in Fairfax, VA, only child of a fairly well to do man and his devoted wife. I had an ok if uneventful life until the day the Lord found me. Nothing has been the same since then!

I met and married a wonderful young woman named Maria... ... She died from cancer at the age of 26, leaving me a 6 1/2 month old preemie son named John IV, but we call him Peeps.... ... Some day, I'll tell you about that struggle. A year later, I adopted a little girl who has me wrapped around her tiny fingers. That is Melina...... Almost two years ago, I remarried. My wife's name is Carolyn, Caro to most.... here with her twin brother ... We are having some troubles but hope springs eternal.

We now live in Iowa via Virginia, El Salvador, Brazil and then to Des Moines. And life is just getting started. :)

After God's Own Heart

Nearly ten years ago, I became a Christian and dedicated my life to God and the ministry and gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. I have had many mountain-top experiences since then and many set backs and disappointments. This is another attempt to share what the Lord has done for me and how he puts up with my failures yet loves me still. I will also share my love for my family and friends, my deep love for the Word of God (the Bible), my struggles and hopefully some triumps. Do not expect a perfect man, for you shall not find him here. If you seek a friend and a 'preacher' in the good sense of the word, you're in the right place. May God bless you is my prayer.

Rev. 2:27 "And he shall rule them with a rod of iron; as the vessels of a potter shall they be broken to shivers: even as I received of my Father."